


Kaitrith Disapproves

by Mysdrym



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Angst, F/F, Family/Friendship - Freeform, Fluff, Romance, angry grumpy elf who loves her ambassador dearly - Freeform, breaking chess pieces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:06:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 44,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4918951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysdrym/pseuds/Mysdrym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rather disagreeable elf becomes smitten with a certain Antivan ambassador.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Should I Be Scared?

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is more a prologue of sorts. Josie will be in the next chapter.

“Should I be scared?”

It had been a joke, a jest, a jape.

Varric couldn’t tell if she’d taken it that way, though.

The Herald was always so serious—Maker help you if you called her that to her face. She delivered every comment in a simple monotone, her expression as muted as her voice, save for the fairly common occasion when her brow pinched together and her lips dipped down.

It seemed that her emotions ranged from disappointed to angry and there wasn’t really anything in between.

Now, however…

Varric stared at the elf, at the blank look she was giving him, her light purple eyes reflecting the fire as it danced beside them. She was judging him.

For what, he couldn’t say. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Careful, Slayer, your face will freeze that way.”

That didn’t even warrant an eye roll. Her boots crunched against the snow as she finally shifted her weight, letting her gaze wander Haven as she crossed her arms. Metal clinked and scraped against metal as her armor rubbed together.

“You said you had a question.”

“You’ve lived with shem—humans,” Kaitrith Lavellan murmured, her voice a bit lower than usual. Her gaze finally snapped back to him, going over him once as though she might think he was a human in hiding rather than the dwarf he claimed to be. “You…understand them.”

“If you’re trying to ask why any one of the crazy bastards here does what they do, you’re asking the wrong person.” Varric’s smile slipped. His words were like anchors, dragging the corners of Kaitrith’s lips down.

Closing her eyes, she took in a slow, strained breath. Then another. Then she opened them, her face unreadable again. “I have a cultural question.”

“Which I can’t answer until you ask.”

“It’s…” For the briefest of moments, Varric could have sworn he saw her cheeks redden beyond the regular ruddy hue the biting cold left in its wake. She brought a hand up and coughed into it, her ears twitching as she looked around again. Kaitrith paused to narrow her eyes at a scout passing by, waiting until he’d scurried out of earshot to continue. “How do you court them?”

“You—”

“Stop that.” Anger flickered in Kaitrith’s eyes as her brow dipped down, her ears seeming to flatten, even so slightly.

“Stop what?”

Shifting and letting her gaze wander away from him again, her plated fingers scratched against her armor a little as she curled them, resisting the urge to make actual fists. “You’re grinning.”

That he was.

“Let me get this straight,” Varric templed his fingers in front of himself, staring over them at her. “First, you actually do have a heart?”

Kaitrith’s eye twitched.

“What? The way you swing that maul around and seem to think that the answer to every problem is to ‘kill it dead’, it did seem questionable.”

With a huff, she uncrossed her arms, failed to find something to do with them, and re-crossed them. “Of course I have a heart.”

“Second,” Varric held up two fingers, pointing them toward her, “you managed to find someone you like, and your first thought was to come to me?”

“It’s a mistake I won’t make again,” Kaitrith hissed, abruptly turning on her heels and starting to storm off.

Before she could get too far, Varric cupped his hands around his mouth and called after her, “You could start with a smile!”


	2. It's A Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaitrith seeks to surprise Josephine with a gift, but her timings proves to be absymal.

“It’s a _problem_.”

Kaitrith stopped in her tracks just outside of Josephine’s office when she heard Commander Rutherford’s voice. Her practiced smile slipped as one of her ears twitched. She had spent almost every night away from Haven in her tent with a small hand mirror, attempting to cajole her smile into looking like less of a forced grimace and into something genuine and friendly.

After all, as much as Varric had teased her, he had had a point. Most of the couples mucking about Haven and in the Hinterlands gave each other rather large smiles, and the few she’d dared to ask about how they’d met—that had been rather precarious in itself, as a few people seemed to think that was an invitation to be more friendly than she was honestly interested in being—tended to mention falling for their partners’ smiles.

So she’d worked on hers.

And to be perfectly honest, it was one of her favorite things about Josephine.

“We need to have unity, with all that’s going on!”

Commander Rutherford was lecturing Josephine.

Frowning, Kaitrith tightened her grip on the small bouquet of wild flowers in her hands. The commander was always so grumpy. If he’d had elf ears, they’d have been flattened constantly with disdain. Sort of how Kaitrith’s generally were.

Kaitrith had a damned good reason, though.

As she let the rest of his speech become a dull background noise, she picked at one of the flowers, wondering if the arrangement was as pretty as she’d hoped.

She’d recruited Sera to help her find where Josephine’s quarters were in Haven, but had then decided it might be odd of her to just show up on Josephine’s stoop—so to speak—with a gift. It might be considered a bit stalker-ish. So instead, she’d decided to visit her at her office near the end of the day, when most of the other humans and Inquisition members had retired for the evening.

Josephine truly had a great work ethic, staying on the job so late and long.

She deserved a reprieve from all the stress that had to come with it.

The flowers rustled slightly as Kaitrith shifted a large pink bloom to rest beside a few smaller white ones. There was no way they’d have lasted the trip from the Hinterlands, and so Kaitrith had borrowed one of Solas’ few old tomes to press them. Solas hadn’t been thrilled to have her commandeering his things for such frivolity, but, fortunately, she didn’t really give a damn what he wanted.

Sometimes, the way he talked, she just wanted to clock him. However, she’d been doing her best not to get into any fights, especially with so many eyes constantly upon her.

Regardless, none of that mattered at the moment.

Kaitrith’s flowers looked lovely; they still held hints of their fragrances, and they’d last a lot longer than just plain flowers. It would be something Josephine could look to whenever she was feeling overwhelmed, to remind her that there was so much beauty in the world that they wanted to save.

The flowers were almost as pretty as Josephine, though Kaitrith didn’t think she’d mention that.

It would probably be weird.

Now, however, Commander Rutherford was still going on about whatever he’d chosen to take issue with most recently.

Kaitrith was beginning to think she ought to just interrupt him. The man could lecture…he’d tried to do so with her the other day, when she’d tried to be friendly—mostly at Josephine’s suggestion, as it would do to have the Herald of Andraste be seen as someone approachable and kind. She’d shut him down, though. It was one thing to talk. It was another thing to be droned at.

Most of the time, whenever someone brought up her title, Kaitrith openly cringed. She hated it. She didn’t even believe in the Maker, and yet people had decided she represented his bride.

Josephine, though. She was kind. Yes, she had to be, with her job, but it was more than that. She went above and beyond the call of duty. She asked about cultural differences and of little things that could be done to make Kaitrith more comfortable. They’d spent over an hour before Kaitrith’s last trip comparing Dalish and Antivan traditions.

Kaitrith had never wanted to learn about human cultures before she’d met Josephine.

Her ears perked up a little as she finally heard Josephine’s voice.

“I understand you are having some difficulties—”

“You make it sound as if it’s just me,” the commander snapped, interrupting her in his exasperation. Kaitrith wanted to walk in and smack him for his impatience. Indeed, she’d just taken another step forward when his next words made her stop again. “The herald will not take this job seriously. Her solution to the mage-templar war was to ‘let them duke it out’. If she actually cares about the Breach, she doesn’t show it. The Chantry is seeking to discredit us, and I’d swear she basks in their disdain. Worst, half the time the soldiers are afraid to look at her, lest she pick a fight with them.”

Kaitrith frowned. Maybe if they’d stop mistaking her for the help and acting like she was going to steal their things, she wouldn’t pick so many fights.

“Cullen, you exaggerate,” Josephine argued, her own frustration punctuating her gentle voice. “Kaitrith is doing what she can. She helped in the Hinterlands—”

“Grousing the whole while. Did you read her reports?”

“—and she has been weighting who to go to for help with the Breach. I know this. Just because things didn’t go particularly in our favor in Val Royeaux doesn’t mean—”

“We are being crippled,” Commander Rutherford hissed. She thought she could hear him grip the handle of his sword, the leather binding along the grip creaking under his fingers.

“So why are you coming to me? I’m already doing all that I can to smooth things over with nobles.”

“She listens to you,” the commander said, his tone changing in a way that made Kaitrith narrow her eyes. “Talk to her about respecting the guards. About focusing her purpose. There’s talk among recruits that this whole mess is some Dalish trick to either get back at the Chantry or to try to win our good graces by saving the day.”

Kaitrith’s gaze had dropped down to the pressed flowers in her hands. Suddenly, they seemed dull, like saving them as she had had somehow drained the life from them, their colors dingy and miserable in the shadows of the Chantry. They wouldn’t look very good in a dark office, would they?

Turning sharply, Kaitrith quickly made her way outside, thankful that almost everyone had already gone to bed. As she left the building, she tossed the dried flowers into the snow with a scowl.

It wouldn’t do much good to give Josephine those when she was already giving her a headache. That didn’t even begin to set the scales even.

She’d fix that, though. After all, Josephine deserved as much.


	3. I Think She's Avoiding Me

“I think she’s avoiding me,” Josephine whispered as she and Leliana made a few notes in regards to the place markers scattered across their map.

Leliana arched her eyebrows, but made no comment as Josephine scribbled a few notes. However, Josephine was barely done with her sentence before she was making flourished hand motions, somehow without flinging what little ink remained on her quill.

“I just do not understand it.” She frowned down at the map, a small crease forming betwixt her brows.  “I do not think I have overstepped. We had quite an open dialogue going about culture, so I was sure that if I did make some error in etiquette she would have let me know.”

“I doubt you have done anything wrong,” Leliana said, finally breaking her silence.

“We didn’t talk too often, I suppose,” Josephine reasoned, absently looking over her earlier notes. “It was still a nice reprieve from…” Her frown returned thrice over. “That is not to say I dislike my work, of course.”

“I know, Josie.” Leliana gave her a reassuring smile. “I think it is just that the Herald has less time these days. She’s taken to training with The Bull’s Chargers and some of Cullen’s recruits.”

At that, Josephine straightened with indignation, dropping her quill to rest in the inkwell and then putting her free hand on her hip. “Not a week ago, Cullen was telling me how poorly she got along with everyone. He wanted me to talk to her. Said she’d listen to me.”

At that, Leliana paused, head tilting for just a second. The action had passed well before Josephine could notice. “This was… last Wednesday?”

“There about,” Josephine said. She hesitated and then nodded. “The evening after Kaitrith got back from her trip to the Storm Coast and then back through the Hinterlands.”

Leliana shifted her weight, considering something. “And Cassandra’s reports mentioned our dear Herald nearly fell off a few cliffs trying to gather different herbs.”

“Hmm? Oh, yes.” Josephine shrugged before plucking her quill up and resuming her notes. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Perhaps nothing,” Leliana replied. She gave Josephine a simple, sweet smile. “I have a feeling you may not need to speak with her about her temperaments.”

“She’s really not as bad as Cullen was making her out to be,” Josephine objected, still detailing a few points of interest and suggestions for their next war meeting. “I think people just expect her to be like a Chantry sister and then are surprised when she’s…herself.”

“Now, now, Josie,” Leliana teased, “Kaitrith is much nicer than most Chantry sisters. If she’s going to stab someone, it won’t be in the back.”

“That’s because she has honor,” Josephine said,  an odd trill of pride in her voice.

Leliana’s humor slipped for just a breath, though—like most of her telling actions—it had passed before Josephine could notice. Her smile was back in place as she tapped her fingers on the table. “I think honor would be a good selling point, don’t you? I’m going to see what I can do to get that idea out and into people’s heads.”

“I’ve already started on that,” Josephine replied, her smile stretching her lips as she thought back to their reckless and brash Herald.

“I see.” When Josephine gave her a questioning look, Leliana simply shrugged.

As Leliana excused herself to go, Josephine was still consumed in her work, scribbling quickly as she finished her notes. Her earlier concerns about the inquisitor avoiding her had simmered down—if she was training and working with others, obviously she wouldn’t have time to talk to Josephine—and become a manageable nagging in the back of her head.

However, as much as she wanted, she couldn’t completely rid herself of the notion.

After all, it did feel like Kaitrith was making a point to avoid her, even if Leliana was sure she wasn’t.

Sighing, she shook her head. She should have more faith in their spymaster.


	4. Good Day to You

“Good day to you, ambassador.”

Josephine hesitated and then returned the sentiment with a bob of her head. “Herald.”

With that, she stepped out, walking swiftly from the war room and back to her office. Kaitrith frowned as the rest of the advisors followed Josephine out, leaving her alone beside the war table.

It was working.

Sort of.

Her plan to be more responsible, be something that wouldn’t cause Josephine constant grief. She’d managed to recruit allies—not always the ones that Commander Rutherford wanted, but to be quite frank she didn’t really give a damn what he wanted—and even when she wanted to toss nobles through some of the lovely stained glass windows in the chantry, she didn’t. She watched the way Josephine handled them and referred back to how her keeper had kept the peace in her clan.

Normally, she’d been one of the offending parties, but she figured that just gave her more insight into the sorts of problems that could go on.

She participated in training with the soldiers regularly, when she was in Haven. Soon, she’d be going with the templar army to close the Breach—Commander Rutherford still wouldn’t shut up about how Kaitrith had disbanded the Order and made them join as a branch within the Inquisition. They clearly hadn’t been able to handle power, which was why they needed to be leashed in.

Those in power rarely handled it well. Especially humans, at least in Kaitrith’s experience. The mages had elves among them, so surely they’d be able to see reason after the Breach was dealt with.  They would see that their templar oppressors had been declawed, and peace could be achieved.

Things were coming together.

Indeed, Kaitrith was developing into somewhat of a symbol of hope or whatever hallashit it was they were calling her these days. A respectable Herald.

And yet…

Josephine didn’t talk to her the way she’d used to, when Kaitrith had first come to Haven. There seemed to be a reservation there, as though there was something the ambassador wished to say, but wouldn’t.

It was annoying, and it nagged at her. What was she doing wrong? She’d toned down her aggressions, focusing them more on the target dummies—they did go through quite a few of them, thanks to her. Was that the problem? Was her venting causing the problems with the budget?

She hadn’t considered that before.

Surely training dummies didn’t cost that much, though.

No, whatever it might be that had gone awry, it wasn’t the dummies.

Kaitrith leaned back against the war table, glaring toward the half open door. Leliana had left it for her, likely expecting Kaitrith to be on her heels as they left. However, Josephine’s goodbye had given her pause.

It had definitely been withdrawn.

What was she doing wrong?

Maybe…maybe it wasn’t her. After all, Kaitrith was doing everything right. She was being the Herald they wanted. Josephine’s job was taxing on its own, and Kaitrith had merely wanted to make sure that she didn’t add to that.

And she’d accomplished that.

So… why did it feel like she was the reason Josephine had seemed more and more distant lately?

It must have been some noble prat, sending scathing letters or even here in Haven, who was bothering Josephine. Perhaps if Kaitrith offered to listen to her woes…

Even as she moved away from the war table, she felt something snag on part of her gauntlet. As she turned back, the entire map jerked, all of the markers across it wobbling and tipping over.

Kaitrith stared at the map, eyes wide, mouth agape.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

This couldn’t…

She jerked her gloves off before hastily moving around the table to move the map back into place. That only sent markers rolling across the table, some falling onto the floor and making soft clinking noises as they hit the stones that made Kaitrith’s long ears twitch.

She hurried over to where they’d fallen and scooped them up.

Banging her head as she shot back to her feet, she cursed when it sent another two markers sliding to the ground.

BY the Dread fucking Wolf!

Things were supposed to be going well.

Even as she looked at the map, trying to remember what went where—shit, there were even tear marks in the map from where a dagger had dragged through part of it.

Kaitrith strangled a scream in her throat, only to freeze as she heard a soft, all too familiar voice.

“Herald? Is everything…?”

As she whirled to face Josephine, clutching the place markers to her chest, eyes wide, mouth a thin line, Josephine stared back at her, perfect lips parted in shock.

“I can fix it.”

Josephine’s clipboard thudded to the floor as she put her hands up to cover her mouth, her papers sliding across the floor and just adding to the damnable mess. Josephine’s shoulders shook a little.

Kaitrith felt like there were stones materializing in her stomach and sinking down, one after another. “I can…”

Abruptly, Josephine shook her head and then stepped over the papers as though they weren’t there, reaching out carefully to take Kaitrith’s hands, clasping them gently. “Herald...” Her lips quivered, eyes twinkled. “You do not need to look like you just damned all of Thedas.”

“You…” Kaitrith’s throat was surprisingly dry and she had to clear it before she could talk again, “You—and Leliana—put a lot of time into your research.”

“Cullen, too.”

Kaitrith merely grunted an acknowledgement to Josephine’s addition. “I didn’t mean to make your life harder…”

“Accidents happen, Herald,” Josephine said, finally allowing those beautiful stars in her eyes to tug up the corners of her lips. “You needn’t apologize. Come I will help you put things back.”

Despite feeling quite the fool, Kaitrith couldn’t help but perk up as Josephine moved toward the war table, gaze cast down as she inspected the damage. Kaitrith wanted to reach out and hold her hand again, but instead managed to just step up beside her, watching rather helplessly as Josephine’s fingers lightly propped up and scooted over a place marker. Some of her hair had come loose from behind her ear and tickled her cheek as she worked, diligent and oblivious to how her Herald watched her with a quiet awe.

Finally getting ahold of herself, Kaitrith forced herself to take her eyes off Josephine, and looked back at the map, doing her best to remember where some of the markers had been and assisting with the effort. Of course most of the ones she could remember were Josephine’s.

As she debated just standing the rest at random places and seeing if anyone even actually noticed—they would—Josephine let out a soft hum and then asked, “So aside from rearranging our war plans, how has your day been?” When Kaitrith blinked, Josephine gave her a simple smile. “We have not had the time to talk lately, have we?”

Kaitrith smiled a little awkwardly back and shrugged, as though it hadn’t been something that had been driving her crazy the last few days. “It’s been…going.”

And with that, she launched into a story about how Varric and Cassandra had gotten into another fight over some trivial, ridiculous comment, enjoying the way Josephine’s laughter met her tale and forgetting, for at least a little while, her worries.


	5. Dammit

“Dammit…” Kaitrith swore at the night, though her voice was stolen before it ever left her lips by a chilling and merciless wind.

She’d just had to play the hero, hadn’t she? She’d just had to fight an ancient darkspawn magister overlord with a fucking archdemon. How had she thought that would end well?

She hadn’t thought. That was the problem.

She was thinking now.

Thinking that it was fucking cold.

It was cold and the wind was whipping the snow into Kaitrith from every damn direction with a maliciousness generally reserved for vindictive, jilted lovers.

What parts of her she could still feel she wished she couldn’t, for pain seemed to spike its way through her from every nerve that still worked. If only she could just go completely numb. Maybe then the winds wouldn’t be so bad. As it was, each snowflake felt like a razor’s edge slicing against her.

Fuck.

Maybe they _were_ razors.

With the sky torn, darkspawn god-things demanding tribute, and Chancellor Roderick not insisting she be strung up on something nice and tall, it seemed like anything was possible.

Granted, he _had_ been stabbed. Perhaps that was why he’d lost his gusto and grim determination for justice to be meted out at his discretion.

Like it mattered now.

Kaitrith was going to die in this miserable snow storm.

If the Maker was real, she found it odd that he would encumber his Bride’s champion with such dismal weather.

Though, the likelihood that He was real was rubbish.

More like than not, this storm was elven retribution, conjured by her own Gods, a proper chide fro even considering she belonged entangled in human affairs.

An image of Josephine burst to life in Kaitrith’s mind to combat that thought, almost as though she’d been struck with it. She stumbled blindly through the snow, choosing to enjoy whatever her head was up to.

Josephine had barely had time to join in any revelry that the Breach was closed. Instead, when Kaitrith had strode up to let her know that the world was on the path to being right and well, she’s simply given Kaitrith a bright and cheerful smile and said that after a few more letters, she would come out join in the celebrations. The candlelight had accented her skin so prettily that Kaitrith had stood there watching her as she turned back to her neat, careful penmanship of letters pleading for aid in hunting down the Divine’s murderer.

All those dead people, and it was the Divine everyone talked about. Silly how a title could make one life more important than another.

Is that what would happen with Haven?

Rather than remembering the fighters, the workers, the cooks and healers who’d fallen to the Venatori, would people just remember her? Would the narrative be less how many fell and more, “It marked the end of the blasphemous rise of the dreaded Herald of Andraste. Serves that elf right for thinking too highly of herself.”

She could almost hear the bastards’ whispers.

Another image of Josephine rose up. She’d come to sit beside Kaitrith during the party, only for a moment. The most beautiful smile had played on her lips, the wind tugging on her bangs and clothes as she confessed that she ought to be working still, but supposed a small reprieve could be allowed, considering the circumstances.

And then the horns had sounded.

Had she made it?

Cullen had sent up the signal flare. He wouldn’t have done that unless the others were safely out of reach. Surely, Josephine had been among them. Surely, she was with them now, curled up in a tent perhaps, with plenty of blankets, some tea, good food, her hair down and spilling over her shoulders in dark waves…

It was idiotically romantic to try to conjure up an image of Josephine safe and well, all things considered. Even so, and in spite of her lack of imagination, Kaitrith tried.

She pulled on other memories, splicing them together, attempting desperately to make something tangible.

Of course she failed.

Just like almost everything else.

Failed to close the Breach without help, failed to kill an ancient magister, failed to smile more.

Failed, failed, failed.

Kaitrith barely noticed that the wind had died down, allowing the sky’s scar from the Breach to leer down at her.

If any of the Gods had any sense of mercy in them, surely Josephine would be safe.

Kaitrith clung to that hope as she trudged forward, her numbing mind settling on a single thought and repeating it like a mantra:

_Let Josephine be safe._


	6. Everything Will Work Out

“Everything will work out.”

Kaitrith stood a little straighter when Josephine looked up. Despite all that they’d been through, despite the attack and near burial via avalanche, her makeup was still elegant, and her hair still up in intricate, careful braids.

Even so, Kaitrith could see a weariness in her. She couldn’t quite hide the circles under her eyes, and her lips were chapped from the cold.

However, regardless of the discomfort she so clearly suffered, Josephine offered Kaitrith a small smile. It wasn’t that alluring beacon that Kaitrith had grown so fond of, and Kaitrith was surprised at how that hurt her heart.

“Thank you, Kaitrith,” Josephine replied, reaching up and covering a yawn. Her nails looked a little dull, even chipped in a few places. Kaitrith was sure not to draw attention to it. No need to make her self-conscious. “I am sure that it will, as well.”

When Kaitrith shifted her weight a little awkwardly, suddenly aware of how her own hair wouldn’t be tamed and how she was littered with cuts and bruises and tears in her clothes—it was a small mercy that Josephine’s swarthy complexion was unmarred from the fighting and fleeing—she combed her fingers through her hair quickly, in as nonchalant manner as she could, before giving up.

It wasn’t like a few second of grooming could fix her up anyway.

Josephine patted the ground beside her, and Kaitrith hopped over—much to her various injuries’ chagrin—to sit down. “You look like you could use a rest.”

“You do, too,” Kaitrith replied, a bit too quickly. Worried she’d implied Josephine looked disheveled or unkempt, she added, “I mean, we all could.”

“It has been a rough week,” Josephine agreed, taking no offense at Kaitrith’s blunder. “I am glad that you are back with us, at least.”

Kaitrith tried not to read anything into what Josephine had said, despite desperately wanting to. It surprised her how quickly she’d fallen for the ambassador. In her clan, the keeper had always fretted that Kaitrith would die alone, due to her brash nature.

The keeper likely wouldn’t approve of Josephine.

Though, to be fair, there was nothing to approve of, yet. Nothing more than Kaitrith’s infatuation, anyway.

Maybe someday…

“We just need a direction,” Josephine sighed. “Without Haven, we are lost. Literally and metaphorically.”

“There’s _no_ one who could house us?” Kaitrith asked, straightening up a little as her voice fell flat. Instantly, she felt guilty. Of course there was no one. Josephine would have brought such a thing to their attention otherwise.

“Surely, we will figure something out.”

“There’s lots of abandoned places we could take,” Kaitrith offered, thinking to her wandering with her clan in the Free Marches. “The ancient elves had a vast empire, and a lot of their buildings are still standing. Empty, too.”

“A testament to the skill of those who build them,” Josephine replied, thoughtfully.

Kaitrith doubted the ambassador knew how much it meant to her that she would say that. Her people had been glorious, hadn’t they?

Perhaps if something elven could save the Inquisition, it would help with…

She shook away the notion. One thing at a time.

Kaitrith still felt a small swell of pride, despite trying to stay level headed. After all, they were talking about the feats of her people.

The two of them let the conversation wander a bit to culture and what little her clan knew of the old elves. It was fun to recount tales to Josephine. Unlike most humans, she seemed to genuinely care about Dalish culture and history. It was refreshing.

The two of them talked for almost an hour before the letter Josephine had been writing before Kaitrith’s interruption was almost blown away by a sudden gust of wind. Remembering her duties, Josephine sighed. “I should get back to work.”

“Of course.” Kaitrith rose to her feet, finding her various aches did not allow her to be as lithe as usual. She did her best not to act stiff as she took her leave.

If nothing else, she knew what to do now. Her clan had never come this far south, but if she could find a set of old elven ruins, it would save the Inquisition’s forces.

It would save Josephine.

“Kaitrith.”

The voice addressing her towed the corners of her lips down, and she turned to see Solas standing not far off. He was leaning against his staff, appraising her carefully. “A Word?”


	7. Halamshiral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads! I'm sorry this gets updated so infrequently, but Kaitrith is about as fickle to me when trying to write her as she is to everyone else (save for Josephine, of course).

Kaitrith was a bit surprised at how disappointed she’d been when they’d presented her with the outfits for the ball at Halamshiral. The frown she bore as they showcased the tacky, brilliant red dress shirt—or coat or whatever name the humans had for it—must have appeared the same as her usual expressive nature, for no one paused to ask her if anything was amiss.

For a moment, she thought Josephine might. There had been a hesitation seen most notably in the way her quill stilled for just a fraction of a second.

It was bizarre how many hopes had bubbled up in that fraction of a second, how many wishes and pleas and denials and…

And they were all crushed not a second later as she continued about as usual, business as always, her beautiful voice ever lilting and sweet as she spoke about what would need to be done ball. She tactfully only brought smiles up once as a suggestion before skirting the issue to more prominent matters of human etiquette and the like.

Kaitrith had listened as well as she could, doing her best not to get distracted by the way the candle light danced across Josephine’s skin, the way her eyes glimmered just so…the way she tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear.

She was such a sight, and Kaitrith had been disappointed further when she’d made the connection that everyone would be wearing those garish outfits, not just her.

It was bad enough that, trapped in human culture as she was, she wouldn’t get to wear one of those ridiculously flowy gowns that were debatably the only good thing to ever come out of Orlais, but that she wouldn’t get to see Josephine in one, either…

Not that she actually wanted to wear one, mind. It was a waste of cloth, and one gown would probably cloth an entire Dalish clan, and she bet if she twirled in one she would look like a morning glory.

It was Varric’s fault. He’d been the one talking about how he’d heard it was ‘in style’ to wear flowers in one’s hair that matched their dresses, and it was his fault that Kaitrith had spent the morning imagining what flowers might look best in her hair and in Josephine’s and if they could coordinate so that they matched and not look too…

It didn’t matter now.

Kaitrith tugged on her glove as her purple gaze skimmed the ballroom one more time. Empress Celene was dead not an hour and the dancing was continuing as though nothing had happened. Or as though some clumsy ‘rabbit’ had spilled a bit of wine, and it was just something to step around and ignore, noses up in the air that things couldn’t be handled with more care.

Growing up in the woods, Kaitrith had not disliked rabbits, though in the time she’d been in Halamshiral, she’d developed a hate for the word she hadn’t thought herself capable of. Did she often find herself disliking things? Yes, but not like this.

She was fairly certain that the next bastard noble to call her a rabbit was going to be stabbed. Knowing these prattling shemlen, they probably wouldn’t notice that, either. Or they’d find it amusing or…

How had Josephine existed in this circle of people? How could someone as kind and empathetic as her have survived this maelstrom of vile cruelty and, in some ways worse, apathy?

“You look tired.”

Had that voice been anything other than the cadence she’d grown so fond of, Kaitrith would have likely tossed the speaker over the rail. However, instead, she turned her head to see that Josephine had come out to stand beside her. She leaned against the rail beside her, gaze meeting Kaitrith’s as she awaited an answer.

“I was wondering how you do this so effortlessly,” Kaitrith muttered, resting her weight against her arms, where she’d draped them against the balcony rail.

“I assure you, it takes much more effort than you think.” Josephine leaned closer nudging Kaitrith’s shoulder with her own. “Especially if the Comte du Moreau manages to corner you and talk about the woes he’s had with his quarries.”

Kaitrith’s ear twitched. “I think I know who you’re talking about.” She paused, tilting her head back. “Dorian literally ducked behind a bush to get away from the man.” Her usual frown was back. “Didn’t warn me, though.”

“Oh dear, I hope he was not too overbearing,” Josephine smiled, despite herself, that familiar twinkle in her eye. “If you need me to send he and his family any…gifts, you need only say the word.”

“Unless it’s appropriate to send him one of those wine stoppers for his mouth…” Kaitrith didn’t finish the sentiment. She didn’t need to. Josephine was already covering her mouth with her hand, eyes wide as she fought back the urge to laugh outright at the thought.

That smile towed up the corners of Kaitrth’s own lips.

As with most of her smiles, it was fleeting.

Josephine pushed away from the balcony, straightening up. “Is there anything that I could get you? A drink, perhaps?”

“Only if it will knock me out.”

With another smile, Josephine shook her head. “Perhaps not, then. We need you yet on your feet.”

Josephine was turning away, glancing back toward the ballroom. Images of her in an elegant dress—something gold, of course—flitted through Kaitrith’s mind. Obviously that wouldn’t happen, but…

“If I have to stand anyway…do you want to…dance?”

The last word fell off her tongue most awkwardly, as though she wasn’t sure she’d meant to speak that word, as if it’s meaning was some foreign thing beyond her comprehension.

Even as she winced at the presentation of her request—how could she always manage to fumble so spectacularly when Josephine was around was beyond her—Josephine turned back to her, one of her brilliant smiles coming back into place.

“I was hoping you would ask.”

Kaitrith’s ears perked up a little as she turned to face the lovely Antivan. She barely managed to fight back the urge to ask her if she was being honest, instead doing her best to coach her smile so that she didn’t look like a giddy young girl.

She’d watched enough of the nobles to know what came next. With one hand behind her back, she extended the other to Josephine in a slight bow, waiting until her advisor took her hand to bring the other one up and rest it on Josephine’s shoulder.

As their feet began to match the beat of the melody they could just barely hear from where they stood, Kaitrith spun Josephine and found that it was just as satisfying as she had hoped it would be, even without that excess of cloth to spin around them as they went.

“You know, I was thinking. I do not know how amenable you would be to the idea, but perhaps—on occasion—when you are meeting with nobles at Skyhold, you might like to wear a dress…? I think you would look most lovely.”


	8. Standing Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads! I will try to update this more frequently.

Kaitrith’s hand was around the door handle, fingers gripping it tight enough that she was fairly certain she’d heard something groan beneath the pressure.

Her lips dipped down in one of her characteristic frowns as she stared at the uncomely whorls that wound their way across the wooden door. They weren’t very pretty to look at. Then again, doors were supposed to be functional, not pretty, so it wasn’t like it mattered. Not that practicality would stop the shem nobles from making snide comments, of course—

“Boss, you gotta just go in and talk to her.”

 “You think I need your prodding?” Kaitrith asked, tone clipped. “I talk to Josie all the time.” With her free hand, she reached back to brush some of her dark hair from her face, suddenly wishing she had combed it. Perhaps she should.

Releasing the door handle, she decided it wouldn’t hurt to look decent for once in her life and turned to head back to her private quarters.

Bull and Krem stood in her way.

“Boss, you were literally plotting our warden’s demise on the battlements when we found you _just_ because he mentioned to someone he _might_ get our ambassador flowers.”

Hmph. Found her. More like stalked her so that they could harass her with their comradery and ‘friendship’.

“I was not plotting.” Kaitrith’s voice fell flatter than usual, ears flattening a bit further.

When her gaze shifted slowly to focus on Bull, the Qunari grinned at her. He’d been more friendly since she’d told him to fuck the Qun and save Krem. She wasn’t sure why, exactly, as most of the time when she told people to shove off with their religions, they normally got upset.

The Qun was rather odd as a whole, though.

They’d sent assassins after him for leaving—which was a tad extreme, though Elgar’nan would probably approve—and somehow now he was following her around like they were…friends.

If she actually had any experience with that sort of thing, it might have made more sense.

As it was, he was better company than most, she supposed. Better than Solas, always complaining about how the Dalish were wrong or that idiot ex-templar who always complained for the sake of complaining itself.

Granted, lately it had just been about that stupid game. Chess.  Dorian had offered to show Kaitrith the game and had then beaten her. When she’d found out he was cheating, she’d flipped the board and apparently a few of the pieces had broken and scattered.

Did the commander have to bring up the missing rook at every war meeting? She’d left an elfroot seed for him to use in its place. What more did he want?

Josephine, bless her, had offered that they have a new piece made to placate him. Kaitrith didn’t see a point in wasting funds, no matter how inconsequential they might be, on something so stupid.

Yes, while she might not like most people’s company, Bull’s wasn’t so bad. And his sheer size seemed to scare away most of the shem who would otherwise bother her, so that worked out well enough, too.

After all, she’d been standing at that door, staring at it for probably close to five minutes before he’d tried to coax her through it.

It was just…

Kaitrith liked Josephine. She liked her hair, her laugh, her poise, her wit, her everything. The woman was a blessing, a light in the miserable, writhing chaos that had become Kaitrith’s life. She always knew what to say, when to find time to slip away and talk, when to just stand quietly together, looking over that war board with its never ending problems that kept getting marked.

As soon as they’d dealt with one issue, eleven more popped up in its place, and the continuous march of problems drove Kaitrith mad. If not for Josephine, she likely would have fed their commander one of his markers by now, too.

The prat.

What she and Josephine had was easily the best thing in Kaitrith’s life. She could count on one hand the number of people she didn’t want to strangle within five minutes of meeting, and the thought that she might mess everything up with the _one_ person she genuinely looked forward to seeing was…

She’d had nightmares about that.

About messing up their friendship, of making things awkward betwixt them.

She’d been happy with the way things were, until that bleeding warden had decided he might try something.

While yes, she had been considering that wardens went missing all the time and that most people probably wouldn’t notice if Warden Blackwall never showed back up to anything—he was a bit of a hermit—to say she’d been plotting his demise was a little dramatic.

After all, one could disappear without dying horribly.

Granted, when she made things disappear they usually ended up in little pieces, but…

“Inquisitor,” Leliana’s voice interrupted her musing before she could go back to arguing with Bull that she wasn’t actually going to murder anyone for being attracted to the most attractive person in Thedas.

Honestly, it was a little odd this sort of thing hadn’t happened already.

Turning yet again, Kaitrith appraised their spymaster with an only slightly narrowed gaze, one typically reserved for people she was more neutral towards. “Leliana.”

“I was hoping we might have a chat in private?”

Were Kaitrith anyone else, she might have smirked at Bull and Krem as she allowed their spymaster to lead her away from the impending collapse of her rather comfortable relationship with Josephine. As it was, she merely followed along, her glare duller than usual.

It wasn’t until they’d wandered down one of the longer side halls that Kaitrith began to think this might have been a mistake.

“I wanted to talk with you about you and Josie.”


	9. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josephine is furious about Leliana's need to interfere with her and Kaitrith's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took down the three chapters I posted yesterday because someone pointed out that with that order, it skips over a really big part of the romance. They will be reposted when the story gets to them--and if you want to read them, they're still up on Tumblr--but for now they're down.

Josephine Cherette Montilyet was furious.

“Leliana said I was ‘an innocent in love’?”

As Kaitrith confirmed it, Josephine turned sharply, pacing back the way she’d just gone, no doubt wearing a line through Kaitrith’s rug. At the moment she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Of all the nerve…

How could Leliana do something like this? Josephine had _told_ her how much she enjoyed spending time with Kaitrith. She’d told her how she understood that theirs was an odd friendship, but one that brightened her day, none-the-less. Leliana knew just how much their inquisitor meant to her.

And she was threatening her off?

What if Kaitrith decided that Josephine was too delicate to ‘toy’ with or whatever Leliana had accused her of? It was odd to some, but Josephine loved Kaitrith’s company. More than a few had inquired about it, saying that Kaitrith was such a harsh and hateful woman that they couldn’t see how the two of them could bare to spend more than two minutes in the same room.

However, Josephine didn’t see her that way. Kaitrith might be grumpy or downright dismissive of some people, but often times she displayed such brazen disdain for people who were being untoward themselves. While society dictated certain civilities be extended to those who didn’t deserve them, Kaitrith treated them exactly as they deserved.

Kaitrith had said her keeper used to get mad at her for doing that sort of thing in their clan, and when the clans met, she was generally asked to stay as far from everyone else as possible, so as not to ruin any negotiations or trades.

Even that was hard for Josephine to imagine.

Surely the people who had lived with her for so long had noticed that she wasn’t nearly so wicked.

The inquisitor might not smile frequently—some claimed a smile would literally kill her—but she was not unkind. She just…had her own way of doing things. Josephine had seen her fix children’s toys after the little ones had given up, leaving them where they could be found and never saying a word to claim the credit. Not even when others took it for themselves.

She’d seen Kaitrith go out of her way to keep things neater and easier for the staff, even if she did glare at them when she caught their attention. And while her words were usually clipped toward the soldiers, it was never anything outright cruel. Usually, she told them to watch their footing or fix their stance.

Many took them as insults or her being overly critical, but those who did listen to her often found their performance improved.

 Kaitrith was not a cruel person; she just wasn’t very good at expressing herself.

And anyone who bothered to talk to her for just a little while would learn that. She did smile, and it was such a sweet thing to see, fleeting as it was.

And she cared _so_ much. It was just hard for her, cut off from the life she knew and having such responsibility thrust upon her. The things people said when they thought she could not hear did not help, and they truly underestimated her hearing.

Josephine had seen her ears twitch at barely audible ‘rabbit’ or ‘knife-ear’. If a fool said such and thing and came over to them, then yes, Kaitrith was usually quite short with them, interrupting them as they spoke and all but dismissing their importance before they could even try to claim it.

The ones Kaitrith didn’t deal with, Josephine did. Room swaps, trade agreements falling through, sudden rumors springing up back home.

Really, the two of them both went after those who wronged them, it was just that Josephine ruined them with a smile while Kaitrith outright refused to associate with them or threatened to toss them out of windows—it was debatable as to whether or not she might actually do such a thing.

Truly…

As Josephine turned again, not sure how many times she had paced back and forth since her last outburst, she realized that Kaitrith was still watching her from where she sat on the fainting couch that had been put near the railing of her room.

The elf’s ears perked up a little under Josephine’s gaze, her expression more relaxed and neutral than when she was dealing with less savory individuals. While she wasn’t very expressive, if one paid attention, one could see the subtle changes that spoke to her mood.

Perhaps the Orlesian nobility couldn’t tell because they were so used to wearing masks.

Leliana was a trained bard, though, she should have been able to read Kaitrith as well—if not better—than Josephine ever could. That she would do this… Poor Kaitrith had come to Josephine not an hour ago, looking rather embarrassed. When Josephine had dared to pry as to what had happened—truly, she had never seen her so flustered before, there was a rosy blush on her cheeks, accenting the curling thorny vines of her vallaslin all the more—Kaitrith had tried to start to tell her something a dozen times before finally saying that Leliana had ambushed her.

This was unbearable. Josephine had to fix this damage before it could ruin things between them.

“I’m _quite_ capable of understanding our association,” she began, feeling a little disappointed even as she strung the words together. It surprised her that making their friendship so clear would…hurt.  “I’ve never thought your intentions were overly romantic, Kaitrith, I assure you.”

For the first time since she’d met her, Kaitrith looked genuinely distraught. She straightened up, ears seeming to prick up a little—Josephine had only ever seen them flatten more if the elf was annoyed with someone’s antics—and she looked tense.

Her mouth opened and closed a moment before she glanced down, inspecting one of her boots. “They were.” She stopped, took in a breath. Though she dared to look up, her gaze quickly dropped back down. “My intentions. Romantic. They were. Are.”

“What?” Josephine’s mouth hung agape, despite all her years of formal training. She was used to dealing with slippery politicians and obstinate nobles, but this…this was something else entirely. It was hard to find words when her fluttering heartbeat was so loud that it drowned out her thoughts, making Kaitrith’s awkward confession repeat over and over in her head. “We’ve only just…I didn’t wish to presume you harbored any tender feelings for me.”

Kaitrith had always been a little pale, despite being out in the sun frequently—some japed that the sun was too scared of her to kiss her skin—but as she sat there, gaze locked with Josephine’s, she was getting notably paler by the second.

“I… I don’t expect,” her voice scratched a little. “If you’re not… I wasn’t trying to make you feel like… I like your company.” She finished in a barely audible whisper. She cleared her throat, turning her attention to her hands as she picked at one of her nails.  

A million questions started in Josephine’s mind, but they all died away just as quickly as they formed, because none of them mattered. The disbelief, the wonder, it was all inconsequential in the end, because more than that, there was the leaping joy flooding her heart at having heard those words, awkward and panicked as they had been.

“And I yours,” she replied, unable to stand the way that Kaitrith looked crushed by the silence, as though Josephine had already rejected her.

Moving to sit beside Kaitrith in a fluid, graceful motion, Josephine lightly reached out and caught her hands, holding them in hers for a moment. Heat crept into her cheeks as she allowed herself a little shrug when she felt Kaitrith look up.

“I would not object to a…closer relationship between us.” She met Kaitrith’s gaze, a slow smile stretching her lips. “If that sounds agreeable to—”

Her words cut off as Kaitrith leaned forward and kissed her.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and putting up with my terrible posting.


	10. A Simple Gift

Kaitrith fidgeted as she walked into Josephine’s office, hands clutching a small, woven bracelet in them. Was it too soon to give gifts? It wasn’t, was it? She’d tried to ask Krem about it—he was one of the few humans she got along with aside from Josephine, after all—but he’d been so…

Willing to make it a group effort.

She’d gone to him specifically to find out if it was rude or presumptuous or clingy to give gifts so early in a relationship—she and Josie had only spared a few times for quiet kisses in the gardens thus far, and she didn’t want to scare her dear ambassador off.

She’d gone to him, and he’d tried to make it something for all of the Chargers to weigh in on, saying something about different cultures in different countries and…

In the end, while Grim had mumbled something nigh inaudible that Dalish had said was adorable, Kaitrith had just figured she was better off trying things her own way. If it was rude, hopefully Josie would excuse her for not knowing.

When she finally tore her gaze away from the bracelet—it looked alright, didn’t it?—she saw that Josephine was seated at her desk, as usual, busily working on something that was no doubt important. The light coming through the window beside her desk made her hair and skin gleam as though she were the one blessed by some God.

It would have been more fitting if she was.

Though…Kaitrith didn’t like the thought of Josephine going out to fight demons as she did. The woman was not one for a weapon, other than her pen, and even if she had been, Kaitrith wouldn’t have wished the mark on anyone else.

Not even the noble bastards who pissed her off on a daily basis.

Stepping lithely across the room, Kaitrith stopped when she was beside Josephine, gaze wandering across her desk without reading anything in particular. “Busy day?”

“I am afraid so,” Josephine murmured, though even as she said it, she set her quill in the ink well and leaned back in her chair. With a delicate rub of her eyes, she smiled up at Kaitrith. “And you? Are you enjoying the few days you have before you leave again?”

At that, Kaitrith shrugged. Part of her wanted to say she’d enjoy them more if she could steal Josephine from her job more often, but then that might not sound as romantic as she wanted it to. “Marian seems to think that there’s a lead worth following in the west, so I almost wish we would just go now.” She paused before adding quickly, “I’ll miss you. But…”

“The sooner you go, the sooner you can return home?” Josephine offered, that brilliant smile of hers still in place.

Even as Kaitrith nodded, she nearly froze. When she’d left to go to the Conclave, she’d never thought that she’d consider any place other than with her clan to be home, yet here she was, more concerned with making it back to Skyhold to see Josephine than she was with ever seeing her keeper or clan Lavellan ever again.

Part of her suddenly felt guilty.

Wanting to banish that awful line of thinking from her head—it wasn’t fair to feel guilty about something like that just because she was happy—she awkwardly shoved her hands forward. “I made you a bracelet.”

Josephine blinked, eyes wide. “You what?”

Was this wrong? Kaitrith felt like she’d stumbled into something she didn’t understand, but managed to keep her voice even as she shrugged again. “It’s not…a huge thing. No cultural meaning, really. Just…I made it, and I thought you might want it.”

Well, if that hadn’t been the most moronic way to give a gift… ‘It has no meaning, but you can have it’?

Had Kaitrith been an on-looker, she’d have probably cringed on the poor bastard’s behalf.

Josephine, however, carefully took the bracelet and turned in carefully in her hands. There wasn’t much to see, really. It was dried reeds woven together in a short band, and Kaitrith abruptly realized it probably wouldn’t match anything that Josephine owned.

Even as she tried to think of how to take it back, Josephine slipped it around her wrist and then held her hand out. “Will you help me tie it?”

Her reaction was almost mechanical. As she quickly did the knot, Josephine tilted her head, inspecting it, curious. “You know, I think I’ve seen this sort of style before, though I can’t quite remember where.”

“Baskets.” Kaitrith frowned at her own awkward explanation. “We make baskets, sometimes. You weave a bunch of these and then thread them together or…I never got passed this part.”

“Well, at least there is some good from that, yes?” Josephine held her hand up, so that the bracelet was in plain view. “After all, the world would not be so pretty a place without this.”

Kaitrith’s felt her ears burning as a slight smile tugged her lips up briefly. “I’m glad you like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If anyone has prompts for this fic, feel free to send them my way :3


	11. From Bad to Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to take so long with this; Real life has been a bit crazy, but I'm hoping I'll be back to writing on a semi-regular basis soon. 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3 If you have any prompts for this, feel free to send them my way.

The last two months had been a complete and utter nightmare. Varric’s friend, Marian, had a friend, Alistair, who had made Kaitrith meet them in _Ferelden_ only so they could reconvene in _Orlais_ in the most arid and awful place that the Creators had ever made.

Worse, both Marian _and_ Alistair thought that the world needed more humor in it, constantly making dry cracks about ev. er. y. thing.

While, yes, Kaitrith understood that she was the Inquisitor and saving the world fell to her, that hardly meant that she wanted to spend all of her time fighting her way through undead invasions in the rain or staggering through _sand_.

She wanted to close the rifts quickly and then go find out what Josephine’s favorite color was.

If Kaitrith hadn’t needed that idiotic duo, she would have tossed them in one of the chasms. However, she refrained because even her clan considered grey wardens worthwhile—they passed down tales of past Blights and of the heroism of the wardens along with the warning that yes, it  _was_  humans’ hubris that caused the Blights, not elves.

She did have to say she liked Alistair more than Blackwall. He seemed to know what he was doing more so, and was less apt to hiding behind the Order’s secrecy when it came to answering questions. Sometimes Kaitrith wondered if Blackwall was really as important as he claimed, or just some foot soldier, making a grab for glory.

While she didn’t really care on the morality of Blackwall claiming to be higher ranking than he was, she would rather someone who knew what they were doing be at her back than someone who was as old as Blackwall who had never advanced far in the ranks.

Humans didn’t seem to operate like the Dalish, in that sense. In the clan, if there was someone who didn’t excel at a particular skill, they worked with them until they found their place. Kaitrith knew, as they’d tried half a dozen roles for her before simply settling on nightly guard—most of the others rotated out to have a day off every now and again. Not Kaitrith. She’d never minded. It wasn’t like she’d had anywhere else to be.

Here, however, the inept were kept in whatever fool position they’d stumbled into and just never promoted, leaving the lowest ranks to be little better than mobs of bumbling old people and ambitious young ones who cared only for their own careers.

It would help if Kaitrith was allowed to smack the more arrogant ones, but that wasn’t considered appropriate.

No one ever considered any of Kaitrith’s suggestions to be appropriate. Not her keeper, not Cassandra, not that worthless ex templar…

That was another part of her foul mood. They’d captured a keep, discussed that they would need to march on Adamant Fortress, and then it had been brought to her attention that, as general, Commander Rutherford would likely be joining her on the battlefield.

She could barely stand getting reports from him or standing in the war room and listening to him go on and on. The man was meticulous, and somehow felt that every step of a plan needed to be approved rather than an overall idea. He couldn’t so much as gather ore without her expressed approval.

Or at least it felt it.

Sometimes she daydreamed about tossing him off the battlements and promoting Ser Barris to commander. There was a decent sort. Ser Barris had had dealings with the Dalish, and had helped them, saved them, even. He was like Bull, though not quite so pushy about their friendship. There was respect there.

He was one of the few who could admit when he’d been wrong.

She kept asking him if he wanted to travel with her, but the one time he’d agreed to go, suddenly he’d been needed on some asinine assignment that Commander Rutherford had needed done. The commander _insisted_ he hadn’t done it on purpose.

Kaitrith had stolen another chess piece regardless.

One of the good things that had come of all of this was that Kaitrith wasn’t quite so careful with her actions as she was when she was trying to make Josephine’s life easier at first, and Josephine didn’t seem to mind.

She saw something in Kaitrith, even when most would consider her to be brash and beyond redemption. Half the time, Kaitrith considered _herself_ to be brash and beyond redemption.

Yet Josephine still had faith in her, and her eyes filled with a quiet happiness whenever Kaitrith came trotting up. It made Kaitrith’s whole world a little brighter.

Granted, there’d been a few times where she’d actually earned disapproving frowns from Josephine. Once, when she’d actually started to tell the commander just what she thought he could do with one of his strategic plans, a soft cough and then shake of a head had gotten her to reduce her rant to a simple, “No. Leliana is smarter than you are. She’ll handle it.”

Mythal’s mercy, but if they were going to move the entire army, she’d be stuck going over plans with that idiot for hours. Days even. How long could a human man talk for?

It had been that haunting thought of having to listen to the most monotonously detailed plans laid out before her that had made her duck out behind the barn before she could get cornered by anyone and sneak her way through servant’s halls until she came to Josephine’s office.

If she was to have to go through that drudgery, it would be _after_ she’d had a moment to say hello to Josephine and make certain that everything was well and good. After all, if Josephine needed help, that took priority over listening to which trebuchets would be brought with them.

As soon Josephine looked up from her desk, Kaitrith knew she’d made the right decision. Josephine’s brow pinched together as she swept out of her seat, hurrying over to her. Even as Kaitrith started to open her arms for an embrace, Josephine came to a stop a few feet short.

Kaitrith tried not to look openly betrayed by the action, instead understanding that something was very much wrong.

“There you are,” Josephine began, wringing her hands in front of her as she spoke. “I…I’ve received the most terrible news. I…I thought of sending word to you in the field, but I did not want to distract you from your duties. However…”

Kaitrith’s usual frown was put to shame with the discontent that settled over her now. If it was something that had come to Josephine’s attention first—as it seemed to have—then it would have to be political.

Even as she asked what was going on, Kaitrith’s mind was already a whir with things that _could_ have gone wrong. Briala’s position in Orlais had been compromised…or Gaspard had been assassinated and Briala was having difficulty manipulating the one who had risen to power in his stead…or Briala herself had been assassinated…or Corypheus had more nobles rallying to his distorted view of what the world needed or…

Despite the awful scenarios playing out in her head, nothing could have prepared her for the next words that Josephine uttered, and nothing could have been worse to add to the miserable month that she had had.

“I’m engaged.”


	12. A Duel Won

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry that it took me so long to update this. Because of that, I thought I'd post two new chapters.

“I still can’t believe....” Josephine trailed off as she turned away from the window. They were staying at a rather lovely inn free of charge, thanks to one of Briala’s many connections. “A duel.”

Kaitrith lounged back on the couch, nursing a few cuts on one arm. Used to a two-hander as she was, she’d been poorly equipped to defend with so light and flimsy a weapon. It had taken her a few swings to get a feel for the rapier and how little energy it took her to propel it and herself forward, but she’d seen the shock in Lord Ortranto’s eyes when she’d found her balance.

Had Josephine not interfered, Lord Ortranto would have been in pieces. Josephine had been so concerned, though, that when she’d interfered, Kaitrith would have surrendered at a word from her.

Despite Josephine’s anger, and that terrifying pit in her stomach that said she might lose the best person to ever step into her life, words had come unbidden, and somehow that had changed everything. “I love you.”

Such words had never been easily spoken to her parents or Keeper or the friends she had in her clan. They had always felt awkward and forced as they tripped off her tongue, and yet there, in Val Royeaux, with her arm bleeding and humans gawking all around, they had been the most natural words to ever leave her lips.

When Josephine had kissed her, she’d almost forgotten the onlookers and the man who stood between her and her lady’s future together.

And then her adversary had done something most unexpected.

He’d surrendered himself.

Really, he’d said something about love and… Kaitrith had been too distracted by the way Josephine’s face had lit up to catch the rest of it.

It had been surreal.

Even now, Kaitrith still felt like something was going to go amiss. That the two of them had overcome what felt like it had to be the most serious of their hurtles was…

“Let me have a look,” Josephine clucked, abruptly sitting beside Kaitrith and extending her hands toward Kaitrith’s wounded arm.

“It’s nothing,” Kaitrith protested.

“Nothing,” Josephine echoed, face and voice stern. “If I hear you are felled in battle at Adamant because of prior injuries, I shall be considerably less forgiving of finding out that you planned to duel for me.”

Kaitrith opted not to point out that, should such a thing happen, she’d be dead. With a faint sigh, she offered her arm to the ambassador. “It will be healed with potions by the time I reach the fortress.”

“It had better be,” Josephine murmured, wincing slightly as she inspected the cuts. As she busied herself, fussing with salves and bandages, Kaitrith felt much of the tension from the last few weeks coaxed out of her with every touch.

As Josephine continued to scold Kaitrith, she leaned forward, free hand reaching out to lightly trace Josephine’s jaw. Josephine stuttered over her current sentence before reaching up to catch Kaitrith’s hand.

“If you think you can distract me, you are quite mistaken.”

“I love you,” Kaitrith replied, thumb stroking her cheek. When Josephine proved to be at a loss for words, Kaitrith smiled, leaning forward and kissing Josephine’s forehead gingerly. “Now, in the interest of not distracting you, I believe you were telling me to be sure to pay attention to my surround--”

Her words were cut off as Josephine abruptly leaned forward and caught her in a kiss, hands cupping Kaitrith’s face and then moving back into her hair. Kaitrith tugged her closer, hands wandering over Josephine, one cradling the nape of her neck and the other wrapping around her waist as their lips molded so perfectly together.

When they finally drew apart for breath, Josephine leaned her forehead against Kaitrith’s and whispered, “I love you, too.” Those were words Kaitrith would never tire of hearing or saying. Even as she leaned in to kiss Josephine again, she put a finger to her lips. “You had best return safely from Adamant.”

“Anything for you.”

“Now, lest we get too distracted,” Josephine kissed Kaitrith’s nose. “Let me finish with your arm.”


	13. Lingering Scars

Josephine had just headed to bed when she’d realized that, long a day as she’d had, she’d forgotten to seal her inkwell before leaving her office. Though she considered trying to catch a servant to ask to handle the matter, when she peered out of her corridors, she found the halls empty and couldn’t bring it to herself to walk to where the servants slept to ask them to do something that would take her less time to do herself.

As she shuffled into her office, hair already falling freely down her back and her nightgown shifting softly around her as she moved, she noticed a light from the end of the hall, from the war room.

Forgetting her ink, she wandered down the hall, wondering who would be up so late. While Cullen occasionally went into the war room in the later hours to avoid Kaitrith as much as possible, he had finished most of his latest assessments earlier in the day.

There were a million reasons that someone could have been in that room, and yet her feet carried her to the doorway without thought, a strange sense that she needed to check on what was going on filling her.

When she pushed the door open, she saw Kaitrith standing where she usually did during briefings, staring down at the map. Even as she thought to greet her love, Josephine noticed a slight tremor in Kaitrith’s shoulders.

Since her return from Adamant, Kaitrith had been…distant. Everyone who had fallen into the Fade had been, really, and so Josephine had given her some space, watching carefully, fretting over whether she should ask about what had happened, or let it be.

That tremor, though…

Josephine forgot her thoughts of letting Kaitrith work through whatever had happened on her own—the reports had been vague, at best—and hurried over to her, putting her hand on Kaitrith’s.

Before she could ask if Kaitrith was alright, the elf was jerking away from her, staring at her with wild, frightened eyes as though she expected a monster to be attacking her.

It was a sharp pain in her heart, but Josephine couldn’t bring herself to turn away, or to move at all. Instead, she met Kaitrith’s terrified gaze with one of concern, waiting patiently until recognition flitted across Kaitrith’s face.

Slumping against the table, Kaitrith put her hands over her face. For the first time since they’d met, the elf looked genuinely small.

Moving forward, Josephine encircled her in her arms, pulling her close and leaning her head against Kaitrith’s. She ran her fingers over Kaitrith’s hair, murmuring reassurances that she was safe and sound, that Josephine would keep her that way, using everything she had.

Kaitrith was stiff at first, though after a few moments, she moved her arms to wrap them around Josephine’s waist, and before either knew what was happening, she was crying softly against Josephine’s shoulder.

Only when her tears finally began to subside did Josephine dare pull away, peering carefully at her love, a hand drying wet cheeks. “I would not ask you to relive anything that pains you, but if you ever have a need to speak of it, I will be here.”

Kaitrith nodded slowly, lower lip trembling, gaze down. When she finally looked up at Josephine, she tried a smile that fell far short of her eyes. “Thank you.”

Clucking gently, Josephine shook her head. “No thanks needed. I am happy to lend an ear.” When Kaitrith’s smile became more genuine, Josephine looped her arm with hers, and motioned toward the hall. “Shall I walk you back to your room?”

At that, Kaitrith frowned, shaking her head and turning as best she could back to the war table. “I can’t bear that room, and I doubt I’ll get any sleep, anyway. I might as well do something useful with my time.”

After along, considerable silence, Josephine finally squeezed Kaitrith’s arm to her. “You could always come to mine.”


	14. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 12/25/16 update starts with Chapter 12, just a heads up.

Kaitrith shot upright in bed, heart pounding in her ears as she gasped for breath. It wasn’t until a few moments later that she finally recognized where she was. She was sitting in bed, her bed sheets tangled around her and damp from sweat, and clinging desperately to the two arms wrapped around her.

Josephine’s voice was a soft faint hum in her ears, her head resting on Kaitrith’s shoulder. While Josie’s voice wasn’t the strongest, Kaitrith was still certain it was the prettiest sound she’d ever heard and made a point of telling Josephine this whenever she could. Her lover would always smile, that faint dusting of blush settling on her tawny cheeks and looking quite beautiful.

Everything Josie did was beautiful.

But her singing, that was something that meant more to Kaitrith than she suspected the ambassador could ever know.

Since the fight at Adamant, Kaitrith’s dreams had been relentless. Nightmare after nightmare of her clan dying—they were set up quite nicely in Wycome, or so they claimed in the letters they’d sent since that awful row with the shem noble—and of her friends, few as they were dying. The worst, of course, were the ones where Josie fell.

That demon that they’d left behind in the Fade seemed to have marked Kaitrith as surely as that damned ritual had put the anchor on her, and it was hell bent on making her a shaking husk of who she was.

Not that it would work.

If she could get through the night at Halamshiral, she could take a stupid demon’s torments until they could figure out how to block it from her mind or…something.

In the meantime, all she had to do was wake up next to Josephine to know that it had been a bad dream, that her love was safe and sound, that they were together. That gave her more strength than anything ever had before.

And Josie’s singing always reached her first, brought her senses back to her.

With a sigh that was equal parts relief and exhaustion, Kaitrith slouched over into Josephine, who in turn sat up, peering at her with warm, dark eyes, concern crinkling the edges where there should be laughter lines. “In the morning, I will write to a few friends in Val Royeaux. I am sure that there are sleeping tonics that will help with this.”

“I’ve already tried them,” Kaitrith sighed, sitting up enough for them to untangle themselves. As soon as they were free, she cupped Josephine’s face in her pale, calloused hands, leaning forward to kiss her fiercely.

Josephine let out a soft gasp before returning the kiss with equal passion. Their lips molded to one another’s, Josephine’s hands moving to tangle in Kaitrith’s hair as she allowed her own hands to drift down. She felt Josephine smile against her lips as Kaitrith pulled her closer.

When they broke apart for breath, Josephine leaned her forehead against Kaitrith’s. “Even your wily charms will not dissuade me from seeking aid.”

“I should hope not. I have no charms, wily or otherwise,” Kaitrith replied, a twinkle in her eyes towing up the corners of her lips ever so slightly.

Josephine kissed her again, lips lingering against hers before she let her attention slip lower, kisses trailed down Kaitrith’s jaw and neck. “What fool told you that?”


	15. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year; I tried to write smut (please keep your expectations exceedingly low so that you won't be disappointed, lol).

Kaitrith hesitated as she stepped into Josephine’s room, the door barely clicking shut behind her. Josephine was already in her night gown, and she’d just walked in in time to watch her hair cascade down her back in long dark waves, resting against her back in a most alluring way.

Turning toward the door, warmth filled Josephine’s eyes as she saw Kaitrith. Reaching her hand out, she sat on the edge of her bed.

For almost two weeks, Kaitrith had been coming to Josephine’s room to curl up with her, to try to stave off the nightmares, or so she told herself.

The truth was that the nightmares came regardless of where she slept or if she was in someone’s arms or not, but being there with Josephine made them recede faster, left her feeling safe and anchored to the real world.

More than anything simply seeing Josephine next to her let her know that those nightmares had been just that. Before, when she dreamt of people falling before their enemies—of Josephine falling—when she’d wake up, a little part of her would whisper that she couldn’t be sure that they were really safe.

The first night she’d gotten back to Skyhold, she’d gone to Josephine’s room and stood there ready to knock for almost five minutes before feeling stupid. Josephine had to deal with so many prats day in and day out that it was ridiculous to think she should wake her up just because she’d had a bad dream.

That was why she’d taken to going to the war room instead. Doing that allowed her to at least feign productivity, and it took her by Josephine’s office, where she could see the changes in it, the proof that Josephine had been there recently, and the assurance that surely she would be there again.

Waking up next to Josie was a far better assurance than glancing at her study.

Kaitrith shouldn’t have been so afraid to go to her, but she’d worried that, strong and distant as she often felt herself to be, she’d appear too clingy if she went to her love’s room, too weak. The fact that Josephine had accepted her insecurities so wholeheartedly had left her a little ashamed for not admitting them sooner.

“Are you just going to stand there all night?” Josephine teased gently, hand still held out for her.

With a smile, Kaitrith moved forward, taking her hand and sitting on the bed beside her. She’d taken to wearing a loose undershirt and trousers when she came down to see Josephine, and while one or two people had seen her in such attire, no one had said anything of it. Not to her, anyways.

And if they’d approached Josephine about it, she hadn’t brought it up.

Sitting there beside her, Kaitrith brushed back a few loose strands of hair from Josephine’s face and leaned forward, noses brushing before lips. Josephine fit so perfectly with Kaitrith, and each time they kissed, the world just seemed to fall away.

Josephine nipped Kaitrith’s lower lip playfully, and Kaitrith smiled against hers, pushing her down gently onto the bed and trailing kisses down Josie’s jaw and neck. Josephine’s hand tangled in Kaitrith’s hair as she let out a pleased sigh.

With a shiver, Kaitrith grinned against Josie’s skin as her lover slipped her hands under her shirt and unclasped Kaitrith’s breast strap, tugging it lithely from beneath her shirt and tossing it carelessly onto the floor.

Pulling away, Kaitrith tugged her shirt up and over her head, though she paused with it still tangling around her arms when she saw the look Josephine was giving her. “What?”

“I love your smile,” Josephine murmured, sitting up and tracing Kaitrith’s jaw and then her lips.

Kaitrith pressed a chaste kiss to her fingertips as she tossed her shirt aside and then leaned back into Josephine.

She couldn’t remember how the rest of their clothes fell away, only that they did beneath gentle touches, with trailing fingers taking their place, skin against skin, fingers tangled in hair, and smiles against lips.

The way Josie’s hands explored her set her blood on fire. With a light push, Josephine moved them so that she was on top of Kaitrith, one hand cupping and gently fondling her breast as they kissed.

Kaitrith parted her lips, letting her tongue taste Josephine’s mouth and felt a thrill run through her when Josephine opened her mouth to let her in.

As Josephine used her free hand to tilt Kaitrith’s chin up so that she could get a better angle to kiss her, Kaitrith let her hands wander across Josephine’s back, before slowly, sliding her fingertips along the curve of her hip and down between her legs. She hesitated, pulling away a little to look up at Josephine. “Do you want me to…”

With a coy smile, Josephine kissed the corner of Kaitrith’s mouth. “Please do.”

She started slow, fingers slowly circling Josephine’s clit, watching in awe as Josephine bit her lower lip and then leaned her head against Kaitrith’s shoulder. Pressing a kiss to Josie’s ear, Kaitrith slid her fingers lower, trailing their tips over Josephine’s lower lips.

After a moment, she pulled her hand away, letting her fingers trail up Josephine’s stomach, pausing to cup one of her breasts, thumb stroking her skin gently. “Roll over.”

Turning onto her back, her hair in wild tangles across the bedsheets, Kaitrith kissed Josephine again and then let her lips trail down Josephine’s body, pausing when she got to her breasts. After a gentle kiss to Josie’s nipple, Kaitrith’s tongue circled the pert nipple slowly, and she had to fight herself not to speed up when Josephine let out a soft moan.

The mere feel of her body against Kaitrith’s was so surreal, and she lost herself to that sensation for a moment, before she again began to kiss her way down.

When she reached the apex between Josie’s thighs, she turned her head to give a quick kiss to Josephine’s inner thigh, grinning when Josie gave her a teasing glare. “Tease.”

Dipping her head down, she began to lap gently at Josephine’s mound, slowly picking up her pace as she listened to Josephine’s gasps. Josephine reached down, tangling her fingers in Kaitrith’s hair as she kept going, her cries louder as Kaitrith resumed circling her clit with her thumb.

Kaitrith’s name fell from her lips when she finally came undone, back arching, fingers tight in Kaitrith’s hair.

When Josephine finally came bak down, she shifted her hand, reaching down to catch Kaitrith’s chin and pull her up gently.

“Shall I?”

Echoing Josie’s earlier comments, Kaitrith brushed her nose against Josephine’s smiling again. “Please do.”

Gentle laughter and soft gasps led them into the night.

The next morning, when Kaitrith woke up, Josephine’s head resting on her shoulder and their bodies still entwined together, she couldn’t help a small smile. They’d fallen asleep holding hands, and somehow their fingers were still laced now. As she gently ran her thumb across Josephine’s smooth skin, she realized that in that moment she felt something she’d never truly felt before.

She was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	16. Family Ties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who've been reading this for a while, you'll recognize most of the chapters in this update as the ones I took down until the story was a bit more filled in. It's finally to the point in the story where they fit in, so here they are again, as well as a new short chapter. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads!

“There you are!” A vaguely familiar voice interrupted Kaitrith’s focus as she sat in the garden, looking over a few documents that Josephine needed her to sign. She’d commandeered the chess table from the commander so that she would have a neat, flat surface to work on, much to his chagrin. She did enjoy seeing that man scowl.

Had it been the commander coming to harass her with some banal details or trying to find a reason to get his chess table back, she would have gladly pretended she couldn’t hear him—she’d once convinced him that a Venatori mage had made her deaf for half a week before he’d caught her talking with Bull and Krem and realized he’d been made the fool.

However, this voice was distinctly young, feminine, and—most importantly—held that lovely Antivan accent. While she wasn’t Josephine, Kaitrith could guess who it was before she even looked up.

Sure enough, Yvette had come to a stop just beside the chess table, hair adorned with pearls—no doubt some flamboyant Orlesian fashion of the week—with a long gown just barely above the ground.

Even as Kaitrith started to stand up, Yvette swept into the empty seat across from her, eyes gleaming as she leaned against the table. “ _You_ are courting my sister.”

At that, Kaitrith leaned back in her own seat, templing her fingers in front of her, elbows resting on her armrests. “ _You_ didn’t tell Josephine you were coming to Skyhold.”

If she had sent word, one of the first things Josephine would have done is tell Kaitrith. That would have been a conversation for tips with deal with her sister. This ambush would no doubt horrify their dear Josie as soon as she learned of it.

“It will be a surprise,” Yvette declared in a most matter of fact tone. Kaitrith didn’t doubt that for a second. She remembered well the way Josephine had gotten frustrated and flustered thanks to her sister’s antics and willingness to share anecdotes from their childhood. “You haven’t answered my question.”

“You didn’t ask one.”

At that, she pouted her lower lip, sinking down into her chair in a most unladylike manner and crossing her arms. “Come now. There is no need to be so hostile. We are friends, are we not?”

Kaitrith narrowed her eyes slightly. In most scenarios the answer would be a simple, “No,” but Yvette _had_ given her the tip about how Josie liked dolls—embarrassed as she was that Kaitrith knew about that, Josephine still appreciated the doll that she’d gotten her last month, shortly after the whole dueling business.

Doing her best to smooth out her expression, Kaitrith stacked the papers she’d been looking through and sat back again. “You tell me. Are we?” She paused before adding, “Friends?”

Yvette seemed to consider the statement honestly for a moment before nodding. “I should think so. We had fun talking about the different players at Halamshiral, didn’t we?”

While Kaitrith almost told her that almost all of Halamshiral had been such a headache that she’d blocked almost all of it, save her dance with Josephine, she managed to catch herself. While she didn’t care for people in general, she did care a great deal for Josephine, and this was someone Josephine cared about.

The notion rather abruptly chased some of the tension out of Kaitrith’s shoulders, allowing her to relax at least a little. Suddenly she wasn’t looking at another shem noble, but instead Josie’s little sister, and the framing of it made all the difference. “I am indeed courting Josephine.”

Yvette’s eyes widened. As she sat up a little straighter, Kaitrith realized that the last time they’d met, the younger Montilyet had been wearing a mask. Now, however, it was much easier to see the family resemblance, and all of the young lady’s expressions.

And, Creators, but she was expressive.

Abruptly, she leaned forward against the table, making it rock ever so slightly. “Did you really fight a duel for my sister?”

“Josie intervened,” Kaitrith offered, leaning against the table as well. She paused before adding, “For his sake. I would have won.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Yvette fell into cupped hands, her chin framed perfectly. “I heard of it, but I thought it was just another rumor until I received a letter from Mother.”

Kaitrith’s eyes narrowed again. The family was gossiping about her? Considering that she had destroyed a political match for their oldest daughter, she supposed it did make sense.

Rather abruptly it hit her that she had interfered with a human noble family’s lineage. That…wouldn’t be a problem for Josephine, would it? They wouldn’t disown her or…?

Yvette, however, didn’t give her long to mull over the possibilities. “Mother wishes to meet you.”

“What?” The word came out before Kaitrith could stop herself. Her ears flattened a little as she eyed the human across from her, trying to tell if she was being serious.

“If you are serious enough to fight for my sister, then surely you are serious enough to meet our parents?” Yvette said, all too innocently.

This felt like a trap.

“She… _wants_ to meet me?”

“Well, of course,” Yvette shrugged. “You’ve stolen my dear, practical sister’s heart, so you must be quite something, or so Antoine was saying in _his_ letter.” Yvette finally sat back, placing a hand over her heart. “I told them of your daring feats at the Winter Palace. I am most certain they will be quite impressed.”

Kaitrith stared at the chipper woman as she proceeded to go on about how exciting it must have been to have been in a real duel and slipped into a tale of a time their brother Laurien had threatened to duel someone for a lady love, only to have the lady run off with a third man.

Most of the story simply slipped by, however, as Kaitrith’s mind had gotten rather hung up on the fact that she was the talk of the Montilyet family. Again, it should have been obvious, but…

“They know that I’m Dalish,” Kaitrith interrupted before adding, “Proud Dalish.”

At that, Yvette looked a little embarrassed. She clasped her hands in her lap, gaze wandering down for the first time. “Well, yes. Laurien did have some questions about what that might mean if you and Josie were to get married. Assuming Dalish have marriage customs—”

“We do.”

Yvette cringed a little at Kaitrith’s flat tone. “I am sorry. I meant no offense. There is not a lot of information on the Dalish where we are from, so we do not…” She trailed off as she looked up to meet Kaitrith’s gaze. “That is part of why Mother would like to meet you. And Father, too, I’m sure. It’s just Mother wrote the letter, and…” She was floundering. “I realize you cannot simply drop everything and head off to Antiva now, but perhaps you could start a correspondence with our parents, send them a letter about your intentions with Josephine so that it could be official? Then they can learn more about your ways and make sure that—”

She cut herself off when she saw the look that had settled onto Kaitrith’s features. “You have my support, so you know. I saw you and Josie together at the ball, and she has never been happier. I think…so long as they see that, there’s not a soul who would object to your being together.”

It was an idealistic view at best, but Yvette was young, and despite echoes of some rather unsavory gossip ringing like phantom wails in Kaitrith’s ears, she couldn’t help a faint smile at Yvette’s earnestness.

And besides, it _had_ worked with Lord Ortranto, hadn’t it?

Maybe there was something to that old adage, ‘love conquers all,’ after all.

“I should…” Yvette was smoothing a few wrinkles out of her dress, eyes downcast. “I should probably go see my sister. I don’t doubt she will be displeased that I came by unannounced, so it is better to get this fussing over with quickly.”

“Josephine’s in meetings for another hour, at least,” Kaitrith offered, even as Yvette started to stand up. When the human woman paused, half out of chair, a look that bordered on wary and hopeful warring on her face, Kaitrith lifted her papers and motioned toward the table. “Would you like to play a game while we wait?”

That bubbly nature returned thrice over as Yvette plunked back down into her seat, beaming. “Alright. I am afraid I am not the best at chess—”

“Let me guess, you’re good at cards?”

“Not as good as Josie, but I can hold my own.” Yvette sat up a little prouder.

Rolling her eyes, Kaitrith began to put the pieces on the board from where she’d set them aside. “Well, I am terrible at this game, so it should be interesting to see which of us wins.”

Yvette nodded quickly, gaze flickering over the board before she abruptly frowned. “Inquisitor—”

“Kaitrith is fine.”

“Kaitrith,” Yvette leaned forward a little. “Why are some of the pieces plant seeds?”

At that, Kaitrith felt her lips tow up into a short, uncharacteristic smile. “No reason.”

“If you do not tell me, I shall have to ask Josie.”

“It will make her cross.” Kaitrith donned a serious look that likely looked the same as most of her other expressions. “If you think you can weather that on top of whatever scolding you’re due, then by all means. Ask away.”

With a tut, Yvette tried to help set up her pieces, though she paused when she couldn’t figure out what the acorn was supposed to represent. “Now you are just being cruel.” Even as Kaitrith reached out and tapped the square where the acorn started, Yvette clapped her hands together, excited. “Oh, oh! What if we make it fun? For each piece we lose, we must tell a story.”

Kaitrith nodded. “Alright. I suppose I could muster up an interesting tale or two.” She paused before motioning to the board and then Yvette. “It’s your move.”


	17. Pranks

**K** aitrith had been trying all day to find out what they’d done. Honestly, she should have never let Bull and Krem think they were her friends—all of the Chargers were under that misguided opinion, actually, though Bull and Krem were easily the worst offenders.

Though, really, she hadn’t done anything to encourage this sort of behavior. She scowled at them like everyone else, it was just that somehow it didn’t scare them off. She’d spent many an evening ranting to Josephine about how it made no sense, though Josephine always just laughed.

Once, when Josephine had suggested they could simply see that Kaitrith had a big heart underneath all those frowns, she’d tried to declare she had no heart because that sort of thing was a damned waste.

Josephine had tried to take the declaration seriously, really she had. However, it was hard to argue that one had no heart when one’s heart was sitting next to her.

Still.

Just because Kaitrith loved Josephine—therefore proving she was ‘capable’ of it, much to quite a few people’s disbelief—didn’t mean she wanted to deal with anyone else. She’d told this to Bull, multiple times.

He just laughed it off.

While she’d considered taking more extreme measures to ensure this fraternization ceased, when she’d gotten the opportunity, she hadn’t taken it. Somehow, annoying as they were, it occurred to her that she wouldn’t quite know what to do with herself if they weren’t there always bothering her.

They couldn’t have learned about her moment of weakness, though. No one had been there to see it, so as far as they knew she only had a soft spot for Josephine.

Yet still they pursued this friendship.

However, Kaitrith had made the mistake of helping Grim with a rather simple prank against his boss the night before, and when Bull had learned of it, he’d sworn vengeance would be swift and brutal.

Kaitrith had spent all day waiting, ready.

As Josephine poured her another cup of tea, Kaitrith reached for it without much thought.

“Do you like this type? I had it imported from home. It is one of the finest things to come from Antiva.”

Kaitrith wanted to say something witty and flirtatious in response, but after drawing a blank for a moment too long, she simply took a sip, making a point to pay more attention to the tea this time. “It has a nice flavor.”

Josephine beamed and took Kaitrith’s compliment as the invitation it was to talk more about it. However, as she was explaining how the tea had come to be so popular, the wind rustled the tree branches beside the window they were seated beside, and Kaitrith’s hand instinctively went to a small dagger she kept at her hip.

While she didn’t intend to stab Bull whenever he sought retribution, she tended to reach for something sharp when she was on edge, regardless of how practical it was to pull a knife.

Her clan had only let her watch the children once. Apparently pulling a knife on a nine-year-old was ‘emotionally scarring’.

“Come now, what is this?” Josephine asked, leaning forward in her seat to peer out the window as though she might find the offender. “You’ve been jumpy all day.”

“I…” Kaitrith frowned. Generally speaking, she tried to be more responsible, if only for Josephine’s sake. Drumming her nails against her armrest once, she busied herself with taking a long drink of tea before finally sighing when Josephine’s attention did not waver. “I may have helped dye Bull’s pants a color he’s not particularly fond of.”

Josephine blinked. Once. Twice. Then a hand came up to cover her mouth as she tried not to laugh. “So you expect retaliation?”

Hesitating, she nodded reluctantly. “I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything to interfere with the Inquisition’s social standing.”

“I’m not worried.” Josephine finished her tea and then set the cup down. “Everyone needs to have some fun sometimes.”

“I have all the fun I need with you.” When Kaitrith realized she’d said that out loud, she felt her cheeks and tips of her ears burning. She sunk down a little in her seat.

Not bothering to hide her laughter this time, Josephine rose from her feet and walked over to Kaitrith, holding both her hands out to her. When Kaitrith took them, she tugged her up, giving her a quick kiss, their fingers laced.

Then, she let her go and gathered her clipboard and notes. “I’m afraid I’ll be busy most of the evening, but I’ll see you tonight?”

“Of course.” Kaitrith darted after her, catching her around the waist at the door and drawing her in for a longer kiss.

When they finally broke apart, Josephine quickly patted her hair back into place, a teasing twinkle in her eyes as she turned to go. “I’ll see you tonight.”

The rest of Kaitrith’s day went by fairly quick, despite waiting for the impending counterattack that never came. As the day wound down, Kaitrith was just coming in from training with a few of the soldiers when Josephine met her on the stairs leading into the main hall.

After another kiss, Josephine led Kaitrith inside, her usual smile in place. “Did your day go well?”

“Surprisingly so,” Kaitrith murmured, gaze drawn to the shadowed corners of the hall, searching for any sign of attack.

Nothing.

After greeting a few nobles briefly, Josephine led the way down a side hall. “So Bull never struck?”

“I haven’t even seen him today.” Kaitrith hesitated. “Or any of the Chargers, at that.” As they walked along, she relaxed for the first time that day. “Maybe… maybe his way of getting me back was just to make me paranoid for a while without actually doing anything.”

“I suppose it is possible,” Josephine offered. Even as she spoke, Kaitrith realized that they’d gone to Josephine’s room rather than hers. How she’d missed that was beyond her. Before she could say anything, Josephine pushed her door open and motioned inside, “However, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.”

Sure enough, the bed was almost blindingly sparkly, even in the dim light.

Kaitrith’s ear twitched.

“I will get them back for this.”

“I’m sure,” Josephine said, closing the door behind her and turning to go back down the hall.

Kaitrith paused, glancing back toward the room, suddenly feeling a little guilty. “I’m sorry.”

With a blink, Josephine cocked her head. “For what? I mostly sleep in your room these days anyway.”

“Still…I didn’t think they’d go after you—”

Josephine stopped, reaching out and cupping Kaitrith’s face in her hands. After a long, gentle kiss, she wrapped her arms around Kaitrith. “I didn’t show you to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to know so you wouldn’t need to worry anymore.”

With a faint smile of her own, Kaitrith leaned into the hug, wrapping her arms around Josephine. “I’m still going to get them back.”

“I will help you plan it.”


	18. Clan Lavellan

**K** aitrith was fast asleep at her desk when Josephine came up to check on her. Josephine couldn’t help a small smile as she quietly made her way across the room to her sleeping lover. Kaitrith had started writing Josephine’s parents, and while her father still seemed at odds with the two of them being a couple—‘What about grandchildren?’ he’d written in his latest letter to Josephine—things seemed to be going well.

Her mother had written Josephine as well to tell her that Kaitrith came off as brash and completely smitten. It was an odd combination, but her mother was still content that so long as Josephine was happy, she would be too.

Yvette was already plotting with their brothers over what Kaitrith’s first visit to Antiva would entail. Josephine had tried to insist they not overwhelm her with Antivan culture—anyone would be overwhelmed with the list they had going, and she didn’t want Kaitrith to feel bogged down with all the sightseeing. There would be time to see all of it, and it needn’t be crammed into so few days.

All in all, though, things _were_ going quite well.

Josephine had asked if they ought to write a letter to Clan Lavellan about their relationship, as well, and had been pleasantly surprised when Kaitrith had muttered that she’d already taken care of that. While she had received two correspondences since from the clan’s keeper, neither had mentioned their relationship in any capacity.

If Kaitrith said she had sent word, then she had and Josephine figured that they must have wanted to keep their business affairs separate from personal.

For truly, all of Clan Lavellan’s letters were quite professional. They were succinct and well written to the point that it would put half the nobles in Orlais to shame. Since they had risen to power in Wycome, there had been fewer letters, as issues between them and the surrounding humans seemed to be taken care of.

Perhaps they intended to write Kaitrith herself at some point? While Josephine considered that they might have already, she quickly dismissed it, as Kaitrith would have told her if that were the case.

It was a fortunate turn of events, indeed, and Josephine was glad that they’d been able to help the clan as much as they had.

Even as she considered that everything was turning up in their favor, Kaitrith groaned and shifted a little where she slept, one of her arms moving just enough to knock a few papers off her desk. With a sigh, Josephine dropped to her knees to pick them up, though her hand stopped as she lifted one of them.

It had the seal of Clan Lavellan on it.

Usually, Josephine would have respected that it was not her letter and waited for Kaitrith to bring it up, however the first sentence caught her attention, and she forgot proprieties and the like as her gaze skimmed it, the reading speed she’d cultivated over the years allowing her to read over it rather quickly.

There was no header. Instead, it just started instantly, with scrawling handwriting.

_You think we don’t know why you sent all that ‘help’ to put us in power in a shem city? The keeper told you not to bring that shem noble anywhere near the clan, so you solve it by throwing away our traditions and setting us up to have to govern the shem here? What, did you think her parents will consider you nobility? You think anyone will? You’re just a knife-ear to them, and from the sounds of it, you’re turning into a flatear, too._

_What’s worse, you’d have the rest of us do the same, just so you can play house with some human._

_The elders_ will _see reason, and you’ll be kicked out of the clan._

It wasn’t signed.

Josephine stared at the note for a few minutes before a pale hand reached down and plucked it from her. Gaze snapping up, she watched Kaitrith as she pushed her chair back and gathered the papers that had fallen, her usual blank expression reinforced so that Josephine couldn’t read her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Josephine started, though Kaitrith merely shook her head.

“It’s fine. This is just Taryn. He’s always been a prat.” She stood up, shuffling the papers into whatever order they’d been in before they fell, and put them back on her desk. When she was done, she held her hand out to Josephine, who took it almost mechanically. “He doesn’t represent most of the clan. Just the angry, bitter few.” She shrugged. “And they’d be angry if the Creators themselves came back and retaught us all our forgotten past. He’d probably complain that they took too long or argue that they were misremembering pieces of history that _we_ interpreted wrong.”

Despite Kaitrith’s attempt to smooth things over—one that might have worked, too—one line wouldn’t leave Josephine’s mind. “He said your keeper told you not to bring me to the clan.”

“Ah, that.” Kaitrith’s ear twitched. She took Josephine’s hand and led her over to their bed, sitting on the edge of it and waiting for Josephine to settle in beside her. When they were both seated, she ran her thumb over the back of Josephine’s hand, her pale fingers a stark contrast to Josephine’s own tawny complexion. “I am not so great at hiding things,” Kaitrith began, mouth twisting into one of her characteristic frowns. “And a while back, I mentioned you in one of my letters home.” She paused and corrected herself. “I mentioned you in a lot of the letters home. Probably all of them.”

Josephine couldn’t help a faint smile at that.

“And my Keeper picked up on it. She…before Wycome, she wanted to make sure that nothing bad happened to the clan, and that I didn’t get any wild ideas about spiriting you away to join us.” Kaitrith fell silent for a few minutes, gaze on the floor. “Keeper Deshanna…wasn’t trying to be cruel, and honestly, I hadn’t really thought about taking you off to live in the woods. I hadn’t really thought about anything past the Inquisition up until then. And, knowing me, she made sure to address that.”

Josephine almost interrupted to ask if she would truly be so unwelcome, but rather abruptly realized that she’d never really thought of where they would go when all of this was over, either.

“Assuming I could ‘persuade a noble lady’ to come live in the woods,” Kaitrith said, her voice trying to sound light and joking, though she failed miserably at it, “it would still not end well. Someone would likely assume we’d kidnapped you or…I don’t really know, but humans tend to like to blame the Dalish for a great deal of things we don’t do.”  

“So she basically told you that so long as we are together, you don’t go home?” Josephine whispered, trying not to sound hurt.

Kaitrith’s gaze snapped toward her, and in a second her hands had cupped Josephine’s face. “It’s fine. It’s not like they ever wanted me to come home, anyway.”

Josephine’s brow pinched together. “That doesn’t make it any better!” She started to rise to her feet to pace, but found she hadn’t the energy for that. “You shouldn’t have to choose between your family or…me.”

“And I don’t.” Kaitrith’s voice was flat, disdain clear on her features. “Now that they’re all proper in Wycome, they’d love to meet an Antivan ambassador.” Stroking her thumb against Josephine’s cheek, she couldn’t help a small, rueful smile. “They’ll probably like you more than me.”

“This isn’t funny,” Josephine insisted. She clenched her hands in her lap, frowning. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Tell you what? That some prat doesn’t like things? He doesn’t like anything,” Kaitrith snapped. She winced at the harshness in her own voice and then gave Josephine a pleading look. “I would have figured out something eventually, but…I kept thinking maybe things would change and then I wouldn’t have to tell you because Keeper Deshanna would be more opening to you visiting the clan or…”

“Do you not want to go home?” Josephine asked, suddenly feeling like there were rocks in her stomach. “After all, they are your people.”

At that, Kaitrith let out a low, wordless grumble, gaze wandering back toward her desk and that awful letter on it. “I will always be Dalish, yes. And I will always send any information I find on the Elvhen to my clan, but…I like very few of them as individuals. Keeper Deshanna is tolerable, but aside from her, the only people I got along with in my clan died at the Conclave. And it’s not like I’d feel particularly at home in some random shem city.” Kaitrith paused, considering it. “Unless you’re there, of course. I like places when you’re there.”

As she picked at the hem of her shirt, Josephine leaned toward her. “You are sure?”

“Do I ever say anything when I’m not?”

“Fair enough,” Josephine conceded.

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, before Kaitrith finally shrugged. “Did I ever tell you about Brira? She was my clan’s First.”

Josephine shook her head. “No. I knew you came with others, but you’ve never talked about them.”

“Well, Brira was an idiot. Always happy about the stupidest things,” Kaitrith started, her voice quiet. “She was like a big sister to me. There was this one time…”


	19. A Helping Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update starts with chapter 16, though 16-18 were up for a like week or so months ago before I took them down to go back and give the story the development it deserved. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, leaves kudos, and comments! You all make my day :3

Kaitirth didn’t realize she’d been rubbing at her hand until both of Josephine’s were curling around hers. Blinking, she looked over her shoulder to see her lover had sat up and wrapped her arms around her.

“It pains you,” Josephine murmured, chin on Kaitrith’s shoulder as she rubbed gentle circles across her palm and the back of her hand.

While she considered lying so that Josephine wouldn’t worry, Kaitrith also knew that brilliant as Josephine was, it would just be an insult to her intelligence. Instead, she leaned her head back to rest against Josephine’s shoulder and sighed. “Sometimes.”

“It…” Josephine had turned Kaitrith’s hand so that she could see the mark better—it never went away, even for a second, anymore—and she started to trace the outline of it with her index finger but stopped when she was about three fourth’s down it.

There was a pause between them before Kaitrith tilted her head toward Josephine and kissed her cheek. “I know.”

The mark was growing.

Josephine frowned a moment, tracing the new outline of the mark, fingers hesitating when it flared slightly, as though in warning. “Have you considered going to Solas?” At Kaitrith’s scoff, Josephine squeezed her a little tighter. “He does know a lot about the mark.”

“He’s an insufferable ass,” Kaitrith hissed in response. More than that, she recalled one of their last conversations going something along the lines of her telling him she’d never need his help and he was most welcome to leave.

To have to go to him now…

She could withstand a bit of pain every now and then, surely.

“You may find him insufferable, but what would be worse? A long life where you talked to someone you dislike, and they helped you, or a short life where you stubbornly let yourself die to magic you don’t understand?”

Even as Kaitrith rolled her eyes, wanting to snap back some sort of retort, she realized that she didn’t really have one. More than that, the nightmares she’d been having, the ones where she lost Josephine, were so heart-wrenchingly unbearable. Josephine would worry about this. To think she might end up with the same nightmares that Kaitrith suffered made her heart sink.

Leaning back against Josephine, she laced her fingers with one of Josephine’s hands and brought it up to press to her lips.

“Does this mean you’ll talk to him?” Josephine’s voice was hopeful in her ear.

“I’ll talk to him,” Kaitrith mumbled against her skin, one of her usual, more pronounced frowns settling into place at the mere thought. “Tomorrow though. It can wait a night.”

Josephine rocked the two of them gently before kissing Kaitrith’s neck. “Thank you.”

“Only because I love you, though,” Kaitrith clarified. “And I may have to throw him off the ramparts if he starts going on about how wrong the Dalish are.”

“Well, do try to get him to help you before that,” Josephine teased, squeezing her once and then letting her go to lay back down. “Come. You will need your rest for tomorrow’s battle.”

“He’s worse than a dragon,” Kaitrith muttered, laying back with Josephine, curling up beside her. As she got comfortable, she paused, reached out, and caught Josephine’s hand. “I love you, Josie.”

Josephine smiled and snuggled a little closer. “I love you, too, Kait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone worried about the end of this story, I've posted spoilers over on my tumblr. You can copy the link below.
> 
> http://mysdrym.tumblr.com/post/155587316413/kaitrith-disapproves-spoilers


	20. Solutions

Kaitrith’s first urge upon seeing Solas was to punch him in the face, but seeing as that was usually how she felt—especially since his comments on the Dalish not knowing anything—she was able to squelch the urge and give him a less pronounced frown as she stopped beside him.

He was working on one of his murals, brow pinched with concentration, and she couldn’t figure out why it mattered so much to him. It wasn’t his story, after all. It was hers.

And she kept him almost as far from it as she did Cullen.

She stood there, staring at him, trying to think of something even remotely pleasant that she could say that wouldn’t be caught as the ass-kissing it felt to be the second it was uttered. The fact that Josephine had talked her into this was the only thing keeping her from pivoting and striding out of the rotunda.

“You require something?”

Solas voice was even, dry. However, there was a glimmer in his eyes that she knew well. Like her, he wished their interactions to be kept to a minimum.

Knowing that did little to make her feel better about this.

“The mark is getting worse.”

She spoke it in a single exhale, hoping that none of the few mages or scouts overhead would look down and see her talking to him. The last thing she needed was people prying into her life.

Solas hesitated a moment before setting his tools down and turning toward her. “I suspected it might.”

That made her ear twitch. He’d known it would get worse, even with the Breach closed, but hadn’t bothered to bring it to anyone’s attention?

“You never said—”

“You never asked.”

And that was to be his excuse for knowing things were getting worse and not offering his help?

Admittedly, without Josephine’s persuasion, Kaitrith likely wouldn’t have accepted it, as she had been rather clear in their last argument that she wanted nothing to do with him or his arrogant ways.

He must have known she’d have to come to him eventually.

Bastard.

Taking in a slow breath, Kaitrith took a moment to gather herself before looking him square in the eyes. “Can you fix it?”

There was a deafening silence between the two of them, so many unspoken words hanging in the air like condensation. She half expected him to gloat, to throw her words about finding him a useless, spineless prat who had turned his back on his culture and people at her.

She wasn’t sure if she was pleased or irate that he took a higher road.

 

Solas appraised her a moment before taking in a long breath through his nose and then holding a hand out. “Let me have a look.”

…-…

Kaitrith stood on a quiet part of the ramparts, leaning against the battlements and staring down at her palm. The crackling, sickly magic had receded, leaving only a thin, barely visible line of shimmering green that could only be seen when the light hit it just so.

Petty as it was, she’d almost hoped that Solas would deny her assistance, if only so she could rant about how he was exactly the vile creature she knew him to be. While she told herself that bad people could still do good things, something about this wasn’t sitting right with her.

Solas had fixed it with what struck her as suspiciously little persuasion and effort, saying some altruistic hallashit about keeping the world safe by keeping her safe.

His words at face value were those of a true humanitarian, but they always rang hollow, like he was reciting a script. Playing a part.

Her hand didn’t hurt anymore, though, and the mark was smaller again, albeit not as small as when she’d first woken up branded with it.

Josephine was going to be beside herself with joy at this turn, and Kaitrith wouldn’t be able to complain about Solas’ shifty ways to her ever again.

Well, she could, but she would have a hard time defending her point when he’d helped her…again.

“Hey, boss.”

Kaitrith’s already present frown deepened as she let her mind wander from her hand for the first time that morning. Bull and Krem stood behind her, both in casual attire, as they’d just returned from their latest assignment, fighting the Venatori.

“Mark bothering you?” Krem asked, sauntering over to her and peering down at her hand with idle curiosity.

Bull seemed less invested in what Krem was asking about, but Kaitrith knew he was just as interested. He was just playing calm so that he’d get more information, like he always did.

With an eye roll, she shook her head, letting her hands drop to her sides as she faced them. “My hand is fine.”

Neither bothered to hide their skepticism until she lightly punched Bull on the arm with her marked hand. “Do I need to completely kick your ass, or is that good enough?”

The second her knuckles touched his skin, he let his shoulder drop as though she had hit him with her damned maul. As his arm dangled limp at his side, he lamented her wrath, even as Krem bit his lip to keep from cackling outright.

Kaitrith sighed.

“Careful boss,” Krem whispered to her. “You’re almost smiling.”

Frown returning thrice over, Kaitrith found her gaze wandering back to her hand. The fact that it didn’t hurt or tingle in the slightest was just so…convenient. She’d witnessed healing magic before, had plenty of it cast her way throughout her life, and yet nothing had ever been solved so _completely_ in such a short time. “Bull, you’re a spy.”

“Former spy, remember?”

It occurred to her that they stood on the very battlements where they’d each tossed a Qunari assassin to their deaths. Motioning to him, she tried not to sound too annoyed as she clarified, “You’re good at gathering information.” When he cocked his head and gave her a single nod, she looked back down at her hand, watching the thin outline of green that hadn’t crackled once since Solas’ healing. Slowly, she curled her fingers into a fist. “I want to know more about Solas and how he can know so much about the mark.”

Krem was the one to speak up at that, crossing his arms and tilting his head. “There a problem?”

For a second, Kaitrith wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t trust someone because they helped her? It sounded petty at best, and she knew Josephine was going to be beyond grateful to the man.

Could it be she was just jealous?

Her gut curled at the mere idea, and she dismissed it almost instantly. Her instincts might make it hard to make friends—much less keep them—but she knew something was wrong with this.

With him.

It wasn’t just his superiority complex or the way he talked down about the Dalish. It was more than a disrespect for her culture, for the strives her people had made to reclaim the past.

There was something there, something about him that made her blood run unusually cold.

Finally, the words came to her, and she looked up at Bull, mouth a thin line. “He’s made himself crucial here, made it so that I _need_ him if I want to move forward, and I don’t trust that.”

Both men stared at her a moment before Bull finally gave her a nod. “I’ll see what I can do.” He started to turn away, but stopped, hesitating before adding, “He was someone I never could get much on, when I had the full network at my disposal. Just so you know, there may not be anything to find.”

Cracking her knuckles one at a time, Kaitrith again found herself mentally tracing the outline of the mark. “There will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading <3


	21. Underhanded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update includes both 20 and 21.

“No.”

The word was hard and final.

Kaitrith narrowed her eyes, a few of the thorns on her Elgan’an vallaslin elongating from the tug of her skin. Her fingers curled around the edge of the table. “Come again?”

The pompous noble prat crossed his legs as he sat back in his chair, shoulders relaxed, fingers laced in his lap. While his lips remained a simply line, she could barely make out a gleeful gleam in his eyes. “I said no.”

Josephine sat beside Kaitrith, a measured frown in place as she carefully shifted just so in her seat. Not a fidget, but some human maneuver to show adjusted attention. “My dear marquis, we had an agreement. The inquisition has supported your endeavors. In return, we expect—”

“You expect too much, lady ambassador.”

“We expect—”

“The bare fucking minimum,” Kaitrith finished, standing up and slamming her palms down on the table. At first the marquis seemed bemused by the action.

“Ah, this must be the inquisitor’s fabled temper. You can’t have what you want, so you throw a tantrum.”

On most days, such a statement would have had her struggling not to get into a fistfight. However, today…

Today Bull had given her an update that Solas had nothing to tell.

Literally.

It was as though he didn’t exist until a few years before the Breach, and that was impossible. He had to have had a clan or come from a city or…

Grown men didn’t just pop up.

That in itself had Bull uncomfortable, and Kaitrith too. She’d expected some sort of twist, but for him to just not have existed?

That was impossible.

And she didn’t like the impossible.

And more than that, something her keeper had told her time and time again had finally begun to sink in.

Brute force alone could not solve all problems.

She’d known this, on some level, but now, dealing with Solas, it was abundantly clear just how much she lacked as far as abilities to figure him out went. He wasn’t a problem she could just run headlong at, and she couldn’t outsource it to one of her few friends, either.

Now, as she looked at the marquis, it occurred to her that a lot of her problems were the same. They required a tact that she didn’t have.

It was beyond frustrating.

She was already in a cat and mouse game, and she was the mouse.

She was the one without any damned power, even with the ability to close the rifts.

This wasn’t how she was going to let things go…

Just as she was about to defer to Josephine, she remembered one of the few times she’d interacted with other clans during the Arlathvhen, how one clan had felt slighted by another and had moved to disgrace them.

She’d thought it honor-less, and yet…

Letting out a disgusted noise, Kaitrith straightened up and glared down her nose at the man. Somehow the brambles on her face seemed all the sharper. “Josephine, what are the repercussions of falsifying inquisition support?”

Josephine’s brow pinched together. “Inquisitor?”

“This man says we support his endeavors, but I never met him before today, nor was I briefed on whatever he’s on about.”

For a split instant, Josephine looked confused, no doubt wondering just how Kaitrith had come up with this approach. Before the marquis could turn his attention to her, however, she’d caught on. “My assistant says he’s here about a bill that would support his claim to part of the Emerald Graves.”

“You already said you’d—”

Kaitrith crossed her arms, doing her best to channel that prat keeper she’d hated for the last few years. “You really think anyone would believe a Dalish elf would recognize human claims to _our_ forest?”

The forest in question wasn’t actually part of the Emerald Graves, at least not according to any clan she’d ever met. However, it was in close proximity, and humans seemed incapable of understanding where the Emerald Graves actually ended. She’d been to the area in question, and at a glance she could see the difference in ages and types of trees. It was part of the Wilds, not the Graves.

She’d told Josephine this, quietly, and her lover had simply shrugged and suggested they take advantage of the misunderstanding, as the marquis was one of the more problematic Orlesian nobles they’d had to deal with.

The twinkle in his eyes was gone. “This will not stand!”

“What will not stand is your claim, marquis,” Josephine replied, measured smile in place, a predatory glint in her eyes. “The inquisition has no need of self-serving, manipulative games. That you could use our name to serve your own means—”

“You can have the weapons I promised.”

“The what?” Kaitrith asked, cocking her head.

“The weapons!” He sat forward in his seat, his earlier composure slowly unraveling.

“You think our honor can be bought with a bit of steel?” Kaitrith growled, brow dropping. “My people had had a long and hard past of being tricked and fooled, and that you would be so horrible as to—”

“I’ll double it.”

“The blood of my people—”

“Triple it!”

“Can we get that in writing?” Kaitrith asked, glancing over at Josephine, who was already drawing up the new contract.

When the meeting finally ended and the flustered marquis departed, Josephine hesitated. “You said that land wasn’t—”

“It’s not,” Kaitrith dismissed, finally slumping back down into her chair and glaring at the door.

“This could come back to hurt us,” Josephine murmured softly. “Especially with the Dalish. If they think you’re actually giving elven lands to humans, there could be bad blood.”

“I’ll write a letter to my keeper,” Kaitrith murmured.

“There are other clans.”

“I’m well aware,” Kaitrith muttered, though she stopped herself when she realized she wasn’t mad at Josephine. Shoulders slumping, she ran a hand through her hair. “I need to be able to fight the way you do.” Even as Josephine readied a protest, Kaitrith closed her eyes. “With words.” Her mind went back to Solas and the way he spoke, the way she knew he didn’t mean what he said, but could never figure out what it was that he was hiding. “I need to be able to read people, to be able to outsmart them.”

“Well, today was a good start,” Josephine offered, reaching out and lightly clasping Kaitrith’s hand.

“I’ve met toads smarter than that idiot,” Kaitrith muttered.

With a gentle laugh, Josephine leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss against Kaitrith’s cheek. “You give yourself too little credit. That was quite brilliantly done.”

“Hardly,” Kaitrith muttered, considering how such cheap tactics wouldn’t work on Solas. Creators, the only reason it had worked on the marquis was probably because he’d been prepared for brute force rather than mind games. Pulling Josephine’s hand to her lips, she held her there a moment before finally giving her a faint, half-hearted smile. “Thank you for the kind words, though.”

“I mean it,” Josephine smiled, turning her hand as Kaitrith let her go so that she could run her fingers down her cheek. “You handled that well, considering I’ve never seen you participate in politics like that before.”

“If it didn’t work, I was going to toss him out the window.”

As Josephine laughed, Kaitrith chose not to point out how that had been less of a joke than she’d meant it to be.

If she was going to figure out what Solas was hiding, if she was going to get him to show his cards, she would need a lot more practice at this sort of fighting.

That, or she’d need a damned miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	22. Well, Well

As Kaitrith stumbled over the threshold of the eluvian, hands gripped her breastplate and jerked her to the side until her back hit a wall.

“How dare you?” Morrigan hissed.

Despite the exhaustion burning through her muscles and the odd whispers whipping through her mind—too fast for her to catch—Kaitrith managed to grip the witch’s wrists and jerk her hands away. “It wasn’t yours to take.”

“And it was yours?”

Normally a human’s tantrum wouldn’t affect Kaitrith the way it did, but Abelas’ words still rung in her ears, the only words in that tumultuous mumbling that made any sense, and she flinched despite herself.

_You are not my people._

An ancient elf who had lived through countless ages, who had slumbered and woken and slumbered.

An ancient elf who’d never once thought to reach out the fucking Dalish, to _teach_ them what was lost, instead hoarding all those memories, all that knowledge, and deeming the current elves unworthy.

He was so much like…

Kaitrith felt an abrupt change in the air, a dry heat that crackled in her mind. She could see flames that weren’t there, ready in engulf and burn away.

Finally, another word broke past that miserable repeat of an old bastard’s snobbery.

_Interrupt._

Kaitrith came out of her scattered thoughts in time to twist Morrigan around and shove her away before she could finish conjuring her fire. The flames had barely burst to life as they extinguished, the energy behind them disrupted.

Even as Morrigan put enough space between them and wheeled around, ready to start again, that same odd awareness whispered through Kaitrith, this time with words—she could have sworn it sounded almost aghast that she’d used physical force to interrupt the spell the first time.

She didn’t realize she’d actually spoken the words until Morrigan’s spell again died.

Even as the mage stared at her, wide-eyed and jaw slack, Bull was slamming her to the ground, with Krem and Varric moving to defend Kaitrith.

“You okay, Killer?”

She meant to respond to him, but there were so many voices vying for her attention now that she’d listened to the one. Whispers and scraps of stories, spells and decrees.

So much that was lost was tumbling in her head, clamoring to be the first thing remembered, the first thing restored.

It was…too much.

The whispers were a hurricane wind inside her, too loud, too frantic and fast.

Almost as though it really was a force of its own, she felt it tip her, felt the world twist and shift. Varric and Krem ran toward her as she went down, and just before she blacked out, she could swear she heard Morrigan’s voice.

“Serves her right. It wasn’t hers to take.”

…-…

Kaitrith blinked as color filled her vision. Greens and worn whites and grays mostly. Everything seemed so much more vibrant and full of life that she almost didn’t recognize the Temple of Mythal for a moment.

As she recognized it, the colors dimmed a little, as though waves of rain were eroding it in the blink of an eye. When it looked closer to what she remembered, it stopped, and she began to walk slowly through the ancient halls. There was so much history here, so much that had been lost.

While she had never been one of the more vocal members of her clan when it came to reclaiming their past, she had always been proud of what they had accomplished. They had faced horrible odds, and they were still there. Still holding on to fragments of who they’d been.

That had been why she couldn’t stand Solas, and why she kept Sera at arm’s length. Their people had a past that they could barely remember, that should have been theirs, and neither of them cared.

Sera, she could almost understand. She wanted to live in the moment, and to not be tied down by worrying over the past.

And people had hurt her with their past.

Kaitrith didn’t know how to ask her about that, and so she gave her fellow elf her space.

Solas, though.

He was always on about how the Dalish didn’t listen, about how they misinterpreted what they’d found, yet he never offered any proof or explanations. Not to her, anyway. Maybe he talked to others, but…

She’d been so thankful he wasn’t with them when they’d come across the temple because it was so beautiful that it nearly brought her to tears. She’d all but forgotten about the Venatori and red templars right there, wanting nothing more than to send word to her clan that they needed to come, to see.

They would be able to do justice to this discovery. The hahren would be able to translate pieces and the crafters would recognize different materials from the past and…

She’d felt like she was coming home to a place she should have known.

That hadn’t lasted long.

_This was the Temple of Mythal._

A transparent apparition of Morrigan walked into the room, leading the way as apparitions bearing resemblance to Kaitrith and her party followed.

Morrigan had regaled them with tales of Dalish barbarism that held not truth and lectured Kaitrith on her own Gods. The only thing that had stopped her from swinging her damned maul into the woman was that Krem and Bull had begun mocking her behind her back, assuming unusually straight posture to mouth things to each other and pretend as though they were just as knowledgeable.

Kaitrith and Varric had both almost laughed once when Krem had plucked a leaf and started making hand motions as though he were explaining in excruciating detail that it was, in fact, something known as a leaf.

That they’d been able to see how awful the witch was being had been more of a comfort than they’d probably ever know.

Kaitrith didn’t hurry after the ghosts—or whatever they were—instead wandering the courtyard more, pausing to stand in front of the pillar Morrigan had translated.

Kaitrith was ashamed to admit it, but she’d felt guilty that the shem had been able to read more of the pillar than she had been. She could speak her fair share of their language—as well as anyone in her clan—but she hadn’t been particularly good with reading it. She’d always left that to their wiser, less brash members, thinking they’d be the ones to make a difference while she simply guarded them from whatever might come.

The mark tingled, as though to remind her how wrong her assumptions had been.

Instead of the wisest elves she’d ever known, she’d been the one to find such a monumental piece of their past. She’d been the one to walk those ancient halls.

She’d been the one to hear that bastard tell her she wasn’t anything more than a shadow of the Elvhen.

Without really wanting it to, the world shifted to the foyer. She’d respected the traditions, even if it had been a human explaining them. The Gods deserved that much. She’d tried to remember everything she saw so that she could write to Keeper Deshanna about it.

And then they’d met the elves, Mythal’s vallaslin etched across their faces and scorn in their eyes.

The apparition of Abelas, their leader, wordlessly denounced the Dalish from where he stood, looking down at her much the way Solas always did. It made her blood boil anew.

A few months ago, she would have gone in swinging at that, taking them all down with her.

However, with her newer goals to beat Solas at whatever game he was at, she’d been learning a bit more about patience and reading people, mostly thanks to Josephine.

Somehow, she’d managed to reason with the arrogant bastards, doing her best to squelch her questions about the world they spoke of, about how they knew of the past and why they wouldn’t share it.

She didn’t want to be here anymore, didn’t want to relive that miserable walk through the temple with the elf who wouldn’t talk to her, even when she tried her broken Elvhen.

Turning, she tried to walk out the way she’d come, though it somehow led to the room with the Well of Sorrows.

Abelas and Morrigan were fighting, Abelas wanted to destroy the well and Morrigan wanted it for herself.

No matter which of them won, the knowledge here, the knowledge Abelas promised lay in those waters, would be lost to the Dalish.

When he’d first explained the well, Kaitrith had begun planning to protect the Well from Corypheus, of sending word to the clan in the Exalted Plains to get one of the People—even if the Sentinels didn’t recognize them as such—to drink.

But there was no time.

Even if the idiots weren’t fighting for the well, Corypheus was there, and he was unkillable.

And they wouldn’t be able to keep him and his dragon and his forces at bay long enough to get a keeper here. They wouldn’t be able to keep Abelas or Morrigan from the well long enough for that to happen.

So while the two had bickered and come to blows, Kaitrith had drunk from the well.

_What you did was beyond foolish._

The scene froze as the water hit her lips, and Kaitrith turned to see Solas standing beside her, glaring at the events that had already happened, as though his disapproval could stop it from happening.

How fitting that he’d be there in her dream.

_You gave yourself into the service of an ancient elven God!_

He turned toward her now, that anger in his eyes a fire of its own.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Kaitrith snapped, a little offset by how real their argument seemed. This hadn’t happened at the temple. He hadn’t been there.

_You are Mythal’s creature now. Everything you do, whether you know it or not, will be for her. You have given up a part of yourself._

“Have I then? It was my sacrifice to make. Why are _you_ so upset? You don’t even believe.”

_I don’t believe they were gods, no, but I believe they existed. Something existed to start the legends…_

He went on, though she couldn’t pay him mind. It was more of his blasphemous hatred for their people, their culture. More accusations and lectures with no proof to offer. The whispers in her head clamored a moment, as though to argue or agree or just let themselves be known, and her world spun before Solas’ voice cut back through, pushing the other whispers away.

_What will you do with the power of the Well once Corypheus is dead?_

Kaitrith tilted her head, staring at the elf and realizing for the first time that, unlike the apparitions reenacting her trip, he seemed more solid, more real.

“What does it matter to you? You’ve never cared for our— _my_ people other than to use us as a stepping stone to show how much better versed you are in our history, something you refuse to share, claiming we do not accept your ‘truths’. Who _would_ accept someone marching up and telling them everything is wrong in such a callous manner? I am _terrible_ with people, and even I can tell that you burn the bridge _as_ you try to cross it!”

Solas stood before her, silent. Rather than anger, he was watching her with an unreadable expression, as though he were listening to her for the first time.

“I _know_ we get things wrong. We all _know_ we get things wrong, sometimes. That’s the problem with trying to recreate stories from a _dead_ language and having to rely on _snippets_ of old stories and the like that we find rotting in ruins!” Kaitrith threw her hands out. “And if I _could_ have, I _would_ have let someone more deserving have the Well. But between a monster, a shem bitch, an elf who wanted to destroy it, and me, I made my choice. We have _so_ little. It’s not fair that we lose this, too.”

“You want to know what I will do?” She wasn’t sure why, but she kept going, despite herself. “I will see the knowledge passed to the clans who will take it. If they do not want it, if they cannot believe a single elf with voices in her head, I will not fault them for it, because it is hard to hold on to who you are when everything and everyone around you is chipping away at what you are, piece by piece. It’s _hard_ to know which pieces to cling to, which are real, and which are just dreams you _want_ to be real.”

When he opened his mouth to speak, she held a hand up. “I don’t care what you have to say. You always talk like you’re some great hahren, someone who will lead us to the truth with your wisdom, but you don’t act it. You demand we listen without truly attempting a conversation, because you don’t expect one. You _expect_ us to reject you, and that makes it easier for you to walk away. It makes it easier for you to write us off.”

The world around them wavered and began to disappear, twisting into a dull, dreary dreamscape that reminded her of the Fade. Even as her stomach wretched at the idea that she’d somehow fallen back into it, Solas let out a low laugh.

_If I had known you were so eloquent in your dreams…no, I suppose I would not have come to you sooner. Perhaps you are right. Perhaps not. In the end, we shall see, won’t we?_

As he turned and disappeared, Kaitrith could have sworn she saw a wolf.

With a gasp, she woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads!


	23. I Won It

Kaitrith stood in the doorway of her room, unsure what to do.

The voices in her head were still clamoring for attention at the worst of times, but she was getting better at tuning them out or focusing on one or another.

Granted, she’d only managed to really focus on one voice, that had told her to go to an old abandoned shrine, where she’d met Mythal herself. That she was a human had been disheartening, but Mythal had spoken kindly at least, and she’d been comforted by the fact that, even though people constantly acted as though her Gods were nothing, at least Mythal still walked the world.

She’d spent her whole trip back reeling from the discovery.

When she’d gotten to Skyhold, Josephine had been busy finishing up with meetings and paperwork, and so rather than walk in still covered in a layer of grime and sweat from the road, she’d headed up to her room to get cleaned up and changed.

She’d barely taken a few steps before something had caught her eye and she froze.

The most hideous surcoat in all of Thedas.

The maroon coloring with its gold embroidery and collar of fur stood out in sharp contrast to the Dalish greens and browns of the decorations around the room.

The commander’s favorite accessory had been placed on an armor stand in the center of the room, drawing attention from everything else.

Kaitrith wasn’t sure how long she stood there, staring at it, and she wasn’t sure what made her turn away, but once she did, she was taking the steps four at a time as she sprinted back down, heading to the one person who could explain this madness without her wanting to punch them.

Josephine sat in her chair, going over a few of the latest letters sent from the various corners of Thedas. As Josephine noticed Kaitrith’s approach, she beamed. “Welcome home, Inquisitor.”

“My room has been invaded.” Kaitrith stopped a few feet short of the desk, usual frown dipping a bit lower than usual. She hadn’t meant to avoid pleasantries, but this was too bizarre.

For a moment, both Josephine and her assistant gave her puzzled looks.

Then, abruptly, Josephine doubled over laughing, nearly hitting her head on her own desk, though she managed to catch herself in time. “Oh, I’d all but forgotten about that. Forgive me, love. I meant to be there when you saw it.”

“You know why it’s in my room?”

“Mmhm,” Josephine laced her fingers together and rested her chin on her hands, trying not to smile too widely. “I won it.”

For the first time since seeing that awful surcoat, Kaitrith felt her annoyance fading. Arching her brow, she wandered closer to Josie’s desk stopping just in front of it and tilting her head. “You won it?”

“I do not believe we have yet to have the pleasure of playing Wicked Grace together,” Josephine couldn’t hold back her smile any longer, beaming as she continued, “but I am quite good, and Cullen is…not so much.”

Kaitrith stood there, processing what she was saying for a moment before slowly pointing toward Josephine. “You got him to bet his coat?”

“Oh, more than that.” Before she could go on her assistant let out a soft cough, interrupting their conversation. Straightening up, Josephine gave Kaitrith a resigned nod. “I will tell you all about it over dinner?”

Darting around the desk, Kaitrith pressed a quick kiss to Josephine’s temple and smiled. “I look forward to it.”

…-…

“He really had to run from the tavern all the way to his room? Naked?”

Kaitrith leaned against the table hand partially covering her smile as she watched Josephine laugh and nod. “His face was brilliant red for days after, and Dorian and Varric are not going to let him forget it any time soon.”

Even as Kaitrith shook her head, gleefully glancing over at the trophy, her hand crackled to life with a harsh, stabbing pain. She fell from her chair with a scream, clutching at her wrist as the room shone green, the magic so much more violent than usual that she thought she could hear it cracking the world in half.

When the pain finally began to subside, she found herself in Josephine’s lap, her love’s arms wrapped tightly around her, cradling Kaitrith to her as terrified reassurances that it would be alright spilled from Josephine’s lips.

“I’m fine,” Kaitrith murmured against Josephine’s shoulder, heart breaking when she heard and felt the hiccupped sob that escaped her.

Rather than cry, however, Josephine merely held her closer. “Of course you are. You’re the strongest woman I know.”

Straightening up, Kaitrith felt like Bull had tossed her over a cliff, but it was nothing she couldn’t work past to assure Josephine that she would be alright. “Really.” She leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to trembling lips. “I’m fine. I’ll go talk to Solas and—”

Her promise was interrupted by the door to her room banging open as Leliana sprinted into the room. “Inquisitor! You’re alright. Thank the Maker.”

Kaitrith frowned as she appraised the spymaster, wondering just how loudly she’d yelled. “How did you…?”

She trailed off as she realized that the room still had an odd green hue to it, coming in from one of the windows.

Standing, Kaitrith walked to the balcony and froze, barely feeling when Josephine caught her unmarked hand and squeezed it.

The Breach had reopened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reads! The main story for this will probably be about 30 chapters total, and if I get any prompts/think of any side stories, I'll post them up after it's all done.


	24. Waiting Game

For what felt like the millionth time that day, Josephine’s pen scratched too harshly against her paper, punching a hole through the delicate parchment.

Kaitrith had left four days ago, on horseback, to return to the place of the Breach, and each second that she was gone was trying on Josephine’s nerves.

The first day, she’d been able to push aside her worries, confident that Kaitrith would be en route the whole day and that, so long as the Breach did not continue to grow, they would all be safe. They would be ready, should reports of new rifts come in as well, and she found herself more than once intercepting scouts destined for Leliana or Cullen to ask about any word of disaster.

The second day had been harder to pretend things would be alright.

Kaitrith and her group—a group far, far too small in Josephine’s mind—had headed off with some of their fastest horses, and Cullen had mentioned that they would probably be able to make it to the ruins of the temple in two and a half days, if they just stopped to let the horses rest when absolutely needed.

That didn’t seem safe. How could someone be expected to fight an ancient monster after such a hard ride in miserable temperatures? With almost no sleep? With pain in her arm that was clearly agonizing, even if Kaitrith had tried to assure her that it was nothing.

There were so many factors that were wrong, and Josephine tried to have faith that all would end well, yet she couldn’t help but think of every way that something might go wrong. She couldn’t help but consider that—now that they’d had time to properly map out the mountains—it might not even take them that long to get to the temple.

The third day, she’d almost gone mad. The Breach continued to linger in the sky, an eyesore to all who dared look up. Every time it crackled, Josephine found herself holding her own left hand, grimacing at the thought that the pain might cause Kaitrith to fall from her saddle.

Surely that couldn’t happen.

It wouldn’t.

Kaitrith was strong, and she’d had the foresight to bring Solas with her, even before Josephine had suggested it.

Things would be alright.

Josephine just had to have faith.

In what though? The question had plagued her that miserable third day. Kaitrith was firm in her belief that she was not chosen by the Maker’s Bride, and Josephine respected that belief, even regretted having cultivated the rumor herself, before they’d become so close.

They’d talked a little about the Creators, but the legends all said that they were locked away, with only the trickster god left to roam the world. That Kaitrith said she’d met Mythal meant that perhaps there was more to the story—perhaps the Elven Gods were not sealed away at all—but Josephine didn’t know if they would appreciate a human praying to them for help.

And she hadn’t ever really asked about prayers when talking with Kaitrith.

And so instead she prayed to whatever was out there and whatever would hear her plea: _Let Kaitrith be safe and return to me unscathed._

She was proud of how much she could do without lifting a blade, but as she sat there on the fourth day, she wished that she’d learned more about fighting. Then she could have gone with Kaitrith to protect her, instead of sitting around waiting and writing letters that might not even matter. The world might end tomorrow and she’d have spent her last days scratching out notes instead of being with the one she loved.

No.

Like so many times that day already, Josephine closed her eyes and forced herself to think of something else, anything else.

She would do her job, and Kaitrith would do hers.

Any day now, the Breach would close, and then it would just be a matter of counting backwards until Kaitrith was back and safe and sound.

She just needed to keep her mind preoccupied.

She just needed to be patient and…

Shoving her papers away, she crossed her arms on her desk, and rested her head against them. How could she be patient? How could she stay calm and not worry when everything that matter to her hung so precariously in the balance? It was different from last time.

Last time had been terrifying, too, but somehow it hadn’t been nearly as nerve wracking. She’d had faith in their cause and their people, and Kaitrith.

Now, as much faith as she wanted to have, she was too afraid, fearful that every new letter brought to her would be of Kaitrith’s demise.

“Dear, sweet Josie.”

Leliana’s voice startled the ambassador, and she lifted her head to see Leliana leaning against the side of her desk. Josephine was embarrassed to have been caught worrying so, but Leliana simply waved a hand, motioning down the hall. “I was just on my way to lunch and thought you might wish for company. We have not gossiped in a while, and I’ve heard some rather…interesting things about one of the more prominent comtes in Orlais. The stories are most amusing.”

Taking in a slow breath, Josephine glanced down at her papers, feeling a trill of guilt go through her. She was behind.

She was never behind. Not like this.

“The papers will be here in the morning, Josie.”

“Will they?” She hadn’t meant to voice her doubts, and instantly slumped back in her chair. “I wish this whole debacle was over and done with.”

“Don’t we all?” Leliana replied, a kind-hearted smile settling on her features. “Come, though. The world may end, but it will not be because you took the time rest.”

Cunning as she always was, Leliana was good at providing a distraction from the tumultuous events going on so near. She, Vivienne, and Josephine sat in a room with a window that didn’t face the Breach, speaking of rumors and fashion, with both women pretending not to notice when Josephine would grow quiet and glance in the direction of the rift, or when she would fidget, unable to keep her mind from wandering.

However, without them, she surely would have gone mad, and she was most grateful for their company.

Time still felt as though it was ticking onward painfully slow, and yet, when they heard the loud crack and ran to the nearest window that would show them what awaited them now, the sun was just setting.

Jospehine cursed that they had sat away from the Breach as they wound their way through the halls, rushing with others who had heard the noise, a quiet, tense panic hanging in the air, interrupted only by quick and heavy footfalls.

When she stumbled out onto the ramparts, she could see all the guards and soldiers on the battlements standing, gazes fixed on the Breach. More people were coming up the stairs and out of the castle to join them, and even as she felt her stomach tightening into knots, a cheer began to rise from those who could see.

As she finally came to a point where the castle and the towers didn’t block her view, she came to a stop so quickly that Leliana almost ran into her.

The Breach was gone.

In its place was a shimmering, shifting light, a gentle, colorful aurora in the place of that hateful green spiral.

Kaitrith had done it.

She’d closed the Breach once and for all.

Josephine was so giddy that she clapped her hands and hugged the nearest person—Vivienne. Though the mage seemed surprised a moment, she simply smiled and gave Josephine a reassuring squeeze back.

“If you’d like, darling, I can send word to a few contacts in Val Royeaux and ask about getting some of their best wine sent here.” Vivienne paused, a glint in her eyes. “After all, we will want to welcome our returning heroes warmly, will we not?”

“Oh!” At her friend’s point, Josephine clasped her hands together in front of her, eyes widening. “Of course we must. There should be cakes and music and…”

With so much planning to go into such an important celebration in such little time, the next five days went by in almost a blink.

Every now and then she would pause and wonder how Kaitrith was faring, but they’d received word that her beloved inquisitor was alive and well, and that had just fueled her desire to make everything perfect. Even the fact that they were taking longer to come home barely bothered her.

They had to be tired, surely.

Josephine was up in Kaitrith’s room, setting up a few decorations that she felt her lover would appreciate far more than the grand show in the main hall when there was a sharp knock on the door. Leliana leaned against the frame, a smile on her face. “They’re back.”

Josephine practically flew past her, hurrying down the stairs as fast as she could, calling out directions that they would need to have finished in the last minutes before the party could commence properly.

However, when she reached the top of the stairs leading into the main hall, she came to an abrupt halt.

Kaitrith and her companions were walking through the throngs of people, worn and weary, but heads held high. When their eyes met, Josephine felt butterflies fluttering in her chest at the way Kaitrith seemed to throw her usual temperament to the wind and just outright smiled.

That in itself caused a quiet murmur to ripple through the crowd, though she forgot it quickly as Kaitrith’s energy returned to her and she bound up the steps between them, wrapping her arms around Josephine as soon as she was near enough.

Cheers erupted from the crowds below. There was so much left to do, statements to make, guests to attend to, last minute details to set into place, but none of that mattered. Not in this moment.

Finally, Kaitrith was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads <3


	25. Come Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is going to include chapters 25-27. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is NSFWish. Nothing really happens, but yeah.

Kaitrith woke just before the morning light could come spilling through her windows, as she always did, mind wandering blearily through the things she would need to do. There were still rifts—new rifts, too, from when the Breach had reopened—and likely paperwork and red templars and—

And Corypheus was dead.

She blinked as that gruesome fight flickered through her mind, replaying the way that mangled monster had cast his spells and deep voice with which he had threatened everything in this world. However, rather than just the image of him standing tall, surrounded by destruction he had caused, she now couldn’t help a small, relieved sigh as she thought of him on his knees, begging an absent God to save him.

The voices had whispered to her, shown her how to use the orb, how to send the bastard to the Fade in pieces.

And then…

It was blurry.

The castle had tumbled, her arm had burned, and then…

She thought she’d seen Solas kneeling beside her, doing something to her hand, but when she came to, she was in a tent, the mark was still there, and Solas was counted among the missing.

Something about that made her uneasy, despite the victory that everyone was so thrilled to celebrate.

She was almost certain she would see him again, somehow.

Perhaps it was the voices, though they’d been mercifully quiet on the trip back to Skyhold and through the night.

A soft hum of a sigh caught her attention and she lifted her head to see Josephine yawn, stretching and arching as she always did when she first woke up.

It had been a night to remember, and not for all the partying and congratulations.

As soon as Kaitrith went to excuse herself from the party, Josephine had been there, excitedly leading her up to her room, explaining that she hoped what she’d done was alright, and that if she didn’t like it—if it went against any traditions or if there were cultural practices being represented wrong—they would take everything down right away.

With the way Josephine twittered on, it had been easy to figure out whatever she was talking about was Dalish related, but even knowing that hadn’t prepared Kaitrith for when they opened the door to her chambers and walked in.

She’d stopped, barely a step into the room, to look around in complete wonder.

Josephine had—somehow—gotten her hands on traditional Dalish decorations—looking more closely, it looked as though they were from the clan they’d helped in the Exalted Plains, as the painted flourishes held a familiar signature that wasn’t from clan Lavellan.

They hung about the room, greens and browns intermingled with brighter colors that normally weren’t displayed save during the most important of celebrations, for fear of being seen through trees or drawing human attention.

Wedding ribbons, halla carvings, charms for births, and carvings and banners for a few different Creators hung side by side, with Elgarn’nan’s curling, thorny vines most predominant within the mix.  

And almost every item there did have a color that was associated with Elgarn’nan.

“I had intended to spend a little more time looking up what each was for to make sure they would be appropriate, but then…if you do not like it—”

Kaitrith had pivoted around and caught Josephine by the waist, pulling her close and leaning up to claim her lips with her own. From there, it had been a blur of touches and clothing falling away, of kisses and giggles and whispered sweet nothings that had lasted well into the night.

Now, despite the fact that if there was ever a day to sleep in, this would be it, Kaitrith was awake, and it looked like Josephine was stirring already too.

Her dear Antivan ambassador always woke up slowly and pleasantly, stretches followed by curling back under the covers, closer to Kaitrith and warmth. As she reached for Kaitrith, eyes still closed, Kaitrith met her halfway wrapping her arms around her lover’s tawny, soft body, pressing the two of them closer.

“Good morning, Love,” Josephine murmured, voice still heavy with sleep. Kaitrith could feel her smile as Josephine nuzzled her face against Kaitrith’s hair and forehead.

“Sleep well?” Kaitrith pressed a kiss to her collarbone and Josephine tilted her head back to give her more access as she let out a simple affirmative hum. “How long do we have?”

“I’ve cleared the day,” Josephine murmured, fingers reaching up to tangle in Kaitrith’s hair. “It is not often that an ancient darkspawn magister is defeated, after all, so some rest felt reasonable.”

Kaitrith propped herself up so that she could look at Josephine, ears pricking up a little bit more than usual. “Really? Yours as well?”

“Mmhm.” Josephine leaned up and left a trail of kisses along Kaitrith’s jaw before wrapping her arms around her and pulling her closer. “Leliana pointed out that I have yet to take a day to myself, save for the time I went to Val Royeaux.”

“Wasn’t that to find out more about who was trying to murder you?”

“Yes, but it was hardly inquisition business.”

Rather than try to argue with that, Kaitrith slouched against Josephine, who in turn dropped back onto their pillows to lie back even as the first rays of dawn began to sneak through the windows and cast yellow light upon the wall opposite them.

For once, it was a coming march of a day she wouldn’t mind.

As she absentmindedly traced abstract patterns across Josephine’s skin, Kaitrith considered that she’d never been happier than she was in this single moment.

Yes, there was much to do, but she could see an end to all the demon fighting. She could see a point where they would be beyond that, where perhaps she and Josephine could settle down somewhere.

Kaitrith didn’t think she’d mind Antiva. She’d been writing to Josephine’s family, and both her brothers seemed to accept her, as well as her mother.

Further, she’d written Keeper Deshanna, and it seemed that the ass who’d written her that note about not accepting Josie was in a minority opinion. She’d learned as much when the Keeper had added a small note at the end of her latest letter, saying that she would like to meet Josephine.

Kaitrith wanted to ask if they could have a Dalish wedding, but she wasn’t sure how to ask for a human to take part in their customs, and she wasn’t sure if Josie would want something like that.

Though, considering how she’d gone out of the way to decorate their room, maybe she’d like it.

Maybe they could do two weddings, one Dalish and one Antivan. Then all traditions could be complied with and there’d be no one to argue that they were ‘only’ married by traditions of a culture that wasn’t accepted wherever they were.

But which would be first…?

Josephine’s hands ghosted along Kaitrith’s skin, one hand coming to rest on her hip. “So then.”

Kaitrith pulled away from her so that she could sit up, watching the way Josie’s eyes sparkled as she watched her. “An entire day to ourselves, what will we do with that?”

“I have a few ideas.” Josephine gave Kaitrith a coy smile, catching one of her hands and pulling it to her lips to kiss her palm. “Come here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	26. Don't Worry

“Don’t worry.”

Lately, it seemed like that was all Kaitrith ever said, and Josephine would give anything in the world if she could manage not to.

Corypheus was dead.

The rifts were finally sealed.

They should have been happy.

Would have been, were it not for the fact that those…attacks—or whatever they were—were back. The mark was growing again, and this time there was no Solas to fix it. Worse, because Kaitrith had unwittingly shunned the Rebel mages—she’d explained she’d sought to stem the templars’ damage first, not knowing what the Ventatori were doing to the mages while she sought to bring them the assurance that their tormenters would not be able to lord their power over them anymore—and so it was a nightmare to try to find even one mage willing to come to Skyhold, even with promises that they would not be hurt.

Kaitrith may have intended to help the mages, but the world only saw that she’d ‘helped’ the templars, and as such, the mages who remained scattered in Thedas were not going to come to her rescue.

Dalish, the Charger’s archer, and Dagna had been searching for ways to help, and Josephine knew that Clan Lavellan and a few other Dalish clans were looking into things that could be done, but so far Solas’ knowledge seemed to be his and his alone.

Kaitrith had been listening to the voices, too. She could make them out much better now, according to her, and Josephine worried over just what those voices were. She’d talked to Kaitrith about it, and the elf had admitted that she wasn’t always sure herself, but that she had faith, and so Josephine tried to have faith, too.

It was harder, some days than others.

Like today, where Kaitrith had woken them both with convulsions as a result of the mark’s growing. As Josephine had tried to help, Kaitrith had accidentally hit her in the face, busting her lip.

Josephine hadn’t even noticed until it was all over, and Kaitrith was looking up at her in genuine horror.

Kaitrith had apologized over and over, near tears that she had hurt her, and Josephine had reassured her over and over that it had been the accident that it was.

When she was sure Kaitrith was alright, she’d suggested Kaitrith stay in bed while she sent a healer up to her. Part of her had wanted to stay, but Kaitrith had withdrawn so completely, telling her that she needed time alone.

She’d sent the healer anyway, and then gotten to work. There was still much to do, even with the world saved, and most of their people returned home or headed back to their lives.

Leliana was Divine, and she was doing her best to reform the church. There had been backlash after her initial changes, but the Inquisition had assisted with that.

Once things were stable enough, however, Kaitrith had ordered the Inquisition to downsize.

Dorian Pavus had returned to Tevinter, Varric to Kirkwall, Vivivenne to her Circle to make sure that it would weather Leliana’s changes. Sera had simply disappeared one day—though Josephine was certain she’d seen her rather recently, though the maid Sera had been talking to swore she hadn’t seen her around Skyhold in months—and Blackwall had joined the grey wardens.

Cassandra still checked in on occasion, though she was busy remaking the seekers.

She was sure that there had been a boy who had helped them for a while, could swear that he’d sat in on a few meetings and been there when Corypheus had been dealt with, yet she could never remember a name or face, only that he’d been there and had left.

Cullen had been let go some time ago, once Corypheus and the need for a major army had passed, and he worked in Ferelden now, helping other templars quit lyrium.

Ser Barris had taken over oversight of what little of their armed forces remained, and Josephine wished they had replaced Cullen years ago, as Ser Barris and Kaitrith got along so much better.

The only adventurers still present, really, were Bull and his Chargers. They occasionally headed out with Kaitrith to deal with whatever problem sprung up, but even they were talking about heading off, now that the threats were gone.

Josephine had a feeling that everyone would be leaving Skyhold soon enough.

For now, however, there was still much to do. People to write to, supplies to secure, research into the mark and how to get rid of red lyrium once and for all to be done.

It was not enough to concentrate on to keep her distracted from how much the mark was growing and how it was affecting her love.

As she’d written a letter to one of her Orlesian contacts, Kaitrith had knocked on the door to her office with her good hand and waited until she motioned her in to walk up to her desk. She’d moved around it and run her fingers down Josephine’s cheek, brow pinching when she saw that her lip was still split.

“I’ll send Stitches to take a look at you,” she’d whispered, and then leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I want you to know that everything’s going to be fine, okay? Don’t worry. This won’t happen again.”

The assurance worried her.

There had been such finality in Kaitrith’s voice, in her stance. Josephine had assured her that she knew it hadn’t been intentional, but Kaitrith had just shaken her head and kissed her again before heading off and repeated that oddly foreboding phrase.

“Don’t worry.”

How could she not when it felt like a goodbye of some kind?

The words had been nagging her ever since they’d left Kaitrith’s lips, and she’d barely been able to concentrate on her work, fearing that something terrible was coming, though she didn’t dare try to think of what.

As she took in a few breaths and turned her attention back to her work, the door to her office banged open and Krem stumbled in, bloodied and pale, with a message that made her blood run cold. “Lady Josephine, you should know! There’s been an accident on the training grounds.”


	27. Coming to Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update starts with chapter 25, which is sort of NSFW, but not really.

“You are the most unbelievable fool I have ever met in my entire life!” Josephine swore for the first time that Kaitrith had ever heard, and she rested back against her pillows as she watched her Antivan lover pace furiously at the foot of their bed. “That you would do something so incredibly…”

Her words failed her, and instead she made grandiose hand motions as she pivoted the other way, still stalking.

Kaitrith’s arm hurt, and she wanted to rub it, but she knew it would be pointless and would just draw Josephine’s attention, which at the moment was not particularly pleasant. Better to let her get this out of her system, if it could be gotten out.

“What were you thinking?” Josephine snapped, whirling on her, angry glare directed unmoving at Kaitrith.

What was she thinking?

She’d been thinking about how she’d hurt Josephine. She’d been able to deal with the pain on her own, been able to work through it, but when the mark’s affects had caused harm to the woman she loved, that had been too much. She could handle the pain, but not knowing she might cause pain to Josephine, while they were sleeping no less.

“I wanted you to be safe,” she finally answered. Her arm itched so badly, and her fingers twitched as she almost reached out to scratch at it. Kaitrith stopped herself before she could. There would be no point.

“You wanted me to be safe?” Josephine echoed, anger simmering somewhat. Closing her eyes, Josephine took in a deep breath through her nose and then let it out. “And while you were keeping _me_ safe, what if something…worse had happened to _you_?”

“I knew what I was doing,” Kaitrith insisted, sitting up a little straighter where she was, though that brought a fresh wave of pain running through her, flipping her stomach. She’d been in pain before, but never anything like this.

She’d be fine though. She just had to focus on something other than the pain and…

And Josephine was sitting beside her, fingers cupping a cheek tentatively as she watched Kaitrith grimace. “You are _such_ a fool.”

Kaitrith brought her good hand up and ran her fingers through Josephine’s hair, pulling her closer as she cradled the back of her head until their foreheads touched. “I’m a fool who loves you.”

With an exasperated sigh, Josephine kissed her, long and slow, pulling away far too soon for Kaitrith’s liking. “And I’m a fool for loving a fool.”

When Kaitrith dared a small smile, Josephine tried to scowl, though it didn’t last long. “I told you not to worry.”

That…did not help as much as she’d hoped it would.

Josephine straightened up where she sat, clasping her hands in her lap, one of the looks she usually reserved for annoying nobles settling on her features. “You should have talked with me about this.”

Shoulders slumping as she slouched back against the pillows, she paused when a new wave of pain swept through her. As it subsided, she shuddered. She wanted to scratch at the back of her hand, scratch at the mark.

Josephine had moved closer to her again, this time curled up against her side, holding Kaitrith’s good hand between both of hers. “Would you like me to send for Stitches?”

“No…maybe…” Kaitrith murmured, trying not to move about so. “I doubt there’s anything he can do. He’s not a mage.” She barely paused for breath before adding, “And I was afraid if I told you, you’d talk me out of it, or make Ser Barris follow me around or…”

“Well, you are certainly not wrong,” Josephine muttered, running one of her hands slowly up and down Kaitrith’s good arm. She’d likely been told not to touch Kaitrith’s other arm while Kaitrith had been unconscious.

Despite her words, she curled closer to Kaitrith, as gently as she could, leaning her head on Kaitrith’s shoulder. “When I first saw Krem, all I could think was that I’d lost you.”

“He should have cleaned up before he told you.”

“Oh, and have me hear from a random soldier or scout instead?” Josephine sat back up, frowning pointedly.

Kaitrith narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t used to having frowns used on her, or for them being so effective. She actually felt guilty.

Guilty, when she’d done what was best. She’d spent hours searching the voices for a way, and this was the only solution she’d been able to pull from the jumble of lost information.

As Kaitrith tried to snuggle closer to Josephine without jarring her bad arm, still cursing the way it itched incessantly below the pain, a sharp knock on her door drew her and Josephine’s attention.

Krem didn’t wait for an answer before opening the door and holding it for Stitches, who was laden with new healing materials. Bull came in after them, something long wrapped in cloth in his hands.

“Heya, boss,” he began.

However, he didn’t get very far as Josephine all but flew from the bed to storm up to him. “Is that what I think it is? It had better not be.”

Bull stood a bit straighter. Somehow, despite towering over everyone, he looked small compared to the furious ambassador.

“I…well, she’s going to need to a new weapon and—”

“Get out,” Josephine snapped, pointing toward the stairs. “Kaitrith needs her rest, not…that.”

With a sigh, as Krem and Stitches helped Kaitrith sit up so that Stitches could take a look at her arm, she tried to calm Josephine down. “You really don’t need to be mad at him. He’s right. I’ll need a new weapon.”

“Well,” Josephine pivoted on the balls of her feet so that she was facing Kaitrith again. Somehow, the simple gift had reignited her fury. “ _You_ should have thought of that _before_ you cut off your own arm.”

Krem stifled a laugh, though he quickly paled when he saw he’d drawn Josephine’s attention. “I’m sorry. It’s…it’s not funny at all. Just the way you said that…I’m sorry. I should, um, send for Dalish or…someone. Excuse me…” The last words were murmured awkwardly as he dared to slip past Josephine to the door, as though he expected her to toss him down the stairs for his slip up.

Bull mouthed a quick, ‘I’ll be back later’ to Kaitrith while Josephine was preoccupied and then followed his second in command down.

After they couldn’t hear the others’ steps any longer, Josephine turned back to Kaitrith. “Now that you’re not alone, I really should get back to work.”

As she turned away, Kaitrith couldn’t help but straighten up a bit, managing to ask through the pain, “You’ll be back, though, won’t you?”  

Josephine looked surprised a moment before closing her eyes and sighing. When she opened her eyes, her expression was considerably more forgiving. “You really are a fool, aren’t you? Of course I’ll be back.”

And with that, she headed off, and Kaitrith slumped back again, fighting a fresh wave of pain as it swept through her. She accepted its sting, a sign of her own personal victory against the mark.


	28. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and 29 are going up at the same time.

“Here, let me,” Josephine offered as Kaitrith dropped her hair brush for the third time that morning. Part of Kaitrith wanted to stand defiant, to insist against all reason that she could do this herself. After all, it was just brushed her hair. It shouldn’t have been so hard.

It was just that reaching and brushing the left side of her head with the brush was hard, mostly because she kept hitting her ear with the bristles.

But still.

Putting her hair up, getting dressed, fighting, bathing, _everything_ was harder. Even writing a damned letter without an extra hand to hold the paper steady.

It seemed like brushing her damned hair should have been one of the few things that didn’t require her needing assistance. Josie kept assuring her that it would get better, that she was already doing better, but it was hard for Kaitrith to see it herself.

Worse, those murmurs in her head kept whispering spells to help her and she’d actually ended up yelling into the night a few evenings back that she wasn’t a Creatorsdamned mage. That had worried Josephine, but the whispers hadn’t even cared.

They didn’t seem able to hear her, honestly. They were simply able to whisper to her, and it was her responsibility to focus on listening to specific ones when she needed them.

They did seem more willing to settle into the dull bubbling of a brook when she listened to a few of them, however. Kaitrith had almost gotten into the rhythm of putting a paperweight on the corner of a page and jotting down the facts rattling around in her head at least. She still forgot it too often though, only to be reminded as the page jerked or turned with her movement.

Josephine was sitting next to her now, a hand resting against the small of Kaitrith’s back. Despite having every right to, she hadn’t shamed Kaitrith for taking matters into her ow hands after that first time, instead being nothing but supportive. It awed Kaitrith, really.

It was a blessing, as Kaitrith dearly needed support right now. Having to relearn everything was trying and exasperating, and she might have given up on multiple occasions already had Josephine not been there to assure her that all would be well in the end.

She was also glad that Josephine didn’t scold her because despite the pain of it all—both physical and emotional—she knew she’d done the right thing. The mark had become unstable, and it was only getting worse. How long would it have been before it wasn’t a flailing hand that hit Josie, but an arc of crackling magic?

Indeed, she’d made the right call.

Handing the brush to Josephine, Kaitrith sighed.

Honestly, she’d only intended to lose from her elbow down. The mark had been crawling its way up her arm, inch by inch for months, sending snaking tendrils of green along her blood veins, but the main part of it had gone up only to her mid forearm. She’d hoped that with the mark gone, the veins going further up her arm would disappear or at least heal, given time.

And joints were easier to slice through than bones, anyway.

The mark, however, had done more damage that she’d realized, and Stitches had ended up having to perform additional amputations to remove all the way to her shoulder as the residual magic turned out to be just as unstable as the mark itself.

She’d half thought she might die after all. While she didn’t want to, she’d been comforted with the fact that at least Josie wouldn’t be taken down with her. Then, as she’d accepted her fate, Stitches had finally been able to stabilize her.

It seemed that she was going to be allowed a chance at happiness after all.

And she was happy. Even though she had to worry about trying to brace herself with her arm that no longer existed, about having to catch herself when she fell after trying to rely on a ghost limb, she always had someone nearby to catch her—Josie, Bull, and all the Chargers—and the world as safe.

Josie was safe.

Even the occasional annoyance at never having any time alone anymore was overshadowed by that simple truth.

“There you are. Would you like me to put it up for you?” Josephine asked, leaning forward to rest her chin on Kaitrith’s good shoulder, brush still in hand.

“No.”

“I thought you were going to start practicing with Bull today, though? It would do to have your hair out of your face, surely.”

With a sigh, Kaitrith leaned back against Josephine, who welcomed her with open arms. “I was.”

It felt stupid to say that the mere acts of bathing and getting dressed had left her wanted to curl back up and sleep, but it did.

“Healing takes time,” Josephine offered, seemingly reading her thoughts.

With her right hand, Kaitrith caught Josephine’s and pulled it up to kiss her fingers. “I really don’t want to spend another day up here, writing.”

“Well, perhaps you could settle for watching techniques today, rather than attempting any?”

Josephine would be fine with Kaitrith setting aside her blade all together, and Kaitrith had considered it, but she wasn’t ready to do that just yet. Not with red lyrium still out there, able to corrupt people so easily.

For now, there was a lot of fighting left to do.

“I’ll go down and see.”

Pressing a gentle kiss to Kaitrith’s ear, Josephine smiled against her skin. “I’ll walk you there.”

…-…

Kaitrith wasn’t sure what had drawn her to the training grounds at first, though as soon as she recognized the hazy yet too sharp quality of the world, she knew it was her connection to Mythal.

Since the Well, her dreams were different. Her nightmares were less and less frequent, and instead she’d find herself a ghost watching previous events play out. Sometimes it was her own life, other times she saw glimpses into a more different past, though they were hard to see, as though peering through a heavy fog. The more she focused, the clearer they became, and she’d actually stood witness to an ancient wedding in one dream, which had awed her.

However, the more she focused, the longer she slept. It seemed the present was the price of the past, and while she wanted to reclaim as much as her people’s history as she could, she didn’t want to do it at the expense of what she had now.

It was a dilemma that tugged at her in many of her dreams, though this one was of herself, and so she was relieved that no price was warranted this time.

She could see herself talking to Bull and Krem in one of the more hidden corners of the training grounds, with Stitches to the side, laying out what he’d need for a tourniquet.

This was the day she removed the mark.

After hurting Josephine, she’d wrangled those voices, demanding they tell her how to stop the mark. At first, the chatter had continued on as it always did, deaf or indifferent to her. However, even as she’d felt tears of frustration pricking her eyes, it had been as though Morrigan’s mother herself was leaning to her, whispering in her ear, and she’d known a spell to mollify the mark, at least for a few minutes.

That such a short time was to be her answer had puzzled her at first, until she’d realized what she could do.

The thought of cutting off a limb had been horrifying, and she’d gone to talk to Josephine about it, to ask her if she was crazy or if such extremes were really needed. However, as she’d seen Josie working, she’d known what she would do, without asking.

And so she’d kissed her love and gathered the Chargers. Very few paid mind to their training, and with the diminished forces, it was easy to find a little corner where no one would see to figure out what they were doing.

Bull had been hard to persuade, but once she’d had him on her side, the other Chargers had fallen into line, as usual.

Her dream memory played out as she knew it would.

Dalish, insisting she wasn’t a mage, had cast the spell to suppress the mark, and Kaitrith had brought her blade down as quickly as she could on her elbow. When it caught, Bull had helped her—something she’d never tell Josephine, as the Antivan would probably kill him.

She felt a phantom pain in time with her past self hissing and clutching her shoulder as Stitches quickly and efficiently moved to stem the bleeding.

As Krem moved to help Stitches with something—Bull was attending to Dalish, who’d passed out—Kaitrith abruptly realized that she was being watched.

The last time this had happened, had been her dream conversation with Solas.

Turning, she didn’t find the missing apostate, but rather an incredibly large, white wolf sitting a few feet behind her, eerie gaze on her rather than her memory.

Her eyes widened as she recognized the creature without introduction.

Her people had told stories of this wolf for as long as time had existed.

Fen’harel. The Dread Wolf.

_You think yourself clever?_

The wolf cocked his head as the disembodied voice spoke, reverberating in the air around them. It wasn’t a hateful tone, but she thought she could sense a bit of contempt there.

More than that, though, the voice was familiar.

“Solas.”

The word left her lips unbidden, and the wolf snarled.

_For all your talk of reclaiming the past, I’d thought you might come to understand what had been lost. Yet instead you move to stop the inevitable._

At first, she was lost. She’d told him she wanted to help her people recover what had been lost, and in her dream he’d started to say something, but had dismissed himself instead.

Before that, though…

He had been the one to appear so timely with ways to stave the mark’s progression. He alone had understood it, known it. Even as stories of other mages studying rifts came to them, most ended with grisly demises, yet he’d clearly known more for far longer. From before the Breach itself.

“The mark was supposed to be yours.”

 _As if_ that _is what matters_ , Solas’ disembodied voice snapped. _You know the power it held, and you destroyed it._  

“It was killing me,” Kaitrith hissed back, all but forgetting she was arguing with a wolf rather than that obstinate elf. “And if _you_ wanted it so badly, you had plenty of opportunities to take it.”

While the wolf had seemed ready to respond to her first statement—no doubt to point out that she likely could have asked the voices for ways to control it better instead of just getting rid of it—the world around them twisted into a new memory, once still clear, yet not hers.

Solas sat beside a battered and unconscious Kaitrith, studying the mark and attempting to cast on it.

For a moment, Kaitrith was puzzled, until she recognized the way he was curling his fingers and whispering—similar to the way Corypheus had acted when he’d tried to take the mark for himself. The magic flickered, just like it had for Corypheus, and then snapped back to Kaitrith.

Kaitrith stared at their phantoms, a disbelieving laugh escaping her lips.

He had tried.

She had somehow come to possess Fen’harel’s mark, and—even as the god that he was—he had been unable to take it back.

Without even meaning to, she had…beaten Fen’harel?

The wolf’s snout was twisted into a snarl as it watched her.

Straightening up, Kaitrith gave the trickster god her usual frown. “You said everything I do will be in service of Mythal, whether I know it or not.”

The wolf’s face smoothed somewhat as it watched her, head tilting so slightly.

“Mythal _gave_ me the spell to get rid of it, so she must not have wanted you to get your mark back, either.” Kaitrith felt a little cocky as she added, “If you have such a problem with it, take it up with her.”

 _I think you will come to regret that declaration._ Fen’harel began to fade away, the memories disappearing into a haze as well. _I wonder if you will be so arrogant the next time we meet._

…-…

“Kaitrith?”

Blinking, Kaitrith cringed at the bright afternoon light that was shining down on her, and it took her a few minutes before she realized that she was in the training grounds, sitting beside one of the rings, propped up against boxes so that she could watch Bull and Krem spar with single handed blades.

Reaching up to rub the sleep from her eyes, Josephine’s hand caught hers as she lowered it again. “Kait, love. Are you alright? You were mumbling in your sleep.”

Kaitrith turned her head to see Josephine sitting beside her, still clasping her hand, concern plain on her face.

For a moment, she thought about how Fen’harel had been in her dreams, how she still had voices whispering in her head, how she was bound to Mythal, and how she was down one arm. She thought of Fen’harel’s words right before she’d woken up. However, even when she thought of him, none of the voices whispering and tumbling around in her head offered any fears or spells to ward him off with.

Surely that was a good thing.

And anyway, she couldn’t spend her whole life fearing what might come. If she did that, she’d be giving up her present just as surely as if she spent the rest of her life dreaming of the past.

“I think I’m going to be alright,” she offered finally, smiling. “Sit with me a while?”

And she did.


	29. A Happy Disentanglement If Not An Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update includes Chapter 28, as well.

Kaitrith stood on her balcony facing the north, making sure she wasn’t watching as Keeper Deshanna rode away. While the direction would be obvious for some time, Kaitrith didn’t want to compromise the situation any more than she already had.

Fen’harel’s threat had not been empty.

She wasn’t sure what he’d done exactly, but while eating dinner with Josephine, suddenly all of the voices had fallen silent, save for one.

Come.

The next thing she’d known, she’d been standing in front of Morrigan’s eluvian as a strange light burst from it. She barely remembered telling someone near her to keep it safe before all of the voices came back, crying and mourning and making it impossible to focus on anything.

When she’d woken up, Josephine had been with her. The light was guarded, the eluvian broken—by Kaitrith apparently, though she couldn’t remember doing so—and Mythal was…

Gone was not the right word, but something had happened, and all that served her could feel it.

More than that, all that served her knew it was the work of the Dread Wolf, though how Kaitrith knew was beyond her.

He’d come to her in her dreams again, watching, waiting for memories to stir, sometimes even calling them.

Whatever had happened betwixt the gods, Mythal had sent what he wanted to Kaitrith, but he could use Mythal’s connections now, and it was only a matter of time before Kaitrith’s stubbornness gave way.

That was why she’d sent for Keeper Deshanna. Someone needed to protect Mythal’s gift. Someone Kaitrith knew could be trusted, and someone the Dread Wolf didn’t know.

She doubted clan Lavellan would be able to keep the light themselves. They would be too obvious a target. But they would pass it to another clan, one Kaitrith wasn’t familiar with. Perhaps the clans would keep passing it, keep it moving until the Dread Wolf grew too tired of chasing it.

The light’s appearance had told Kaitrith two things. One, she understood her ‘bindings’ to Mythal even less than she’d thought, and two, she should never have crossed the Dread Wolf.

How she could have avoided that, however, was hard to say. If she hadn’t gone to the Conclave, she’d have never met Josephine. Despite everything, the death, the dealings with idiots, the demons, the pain, it had been worth it because it had led her to where she was meant to be.

There was a war raging, something that had been going on far longer than she could comprehend and something that would likely be going on well after she’d died.

However, it was hard to accept, but that war wasn’t hers. She might be tied to it, bound to Mythal as she was, but for now, the best she could do for her side was extricate herself from it. If she knew nothing of where or who the key pieces were, then Fen’harel would have to work all the harder.

That worked well enough for her.

She’d never been interested in being a hero.

When she was younger, she’d protected her clan because that was all she was good for and because that way she still got to work with them—be with them. Then after the Conclave, she’d been the Inquisitor because, again, it was what she was good for.

She’d played her role because it was something she had to do.

Now, however, her role was to not be involved, and she was oddly relieved for it.

She heard the door open and close behind her and turned to see Josephine slipping into the room. The woman looked worn, but happy, stepping out onto the balcony and looking up at the stars.

“I take it everything on your end is done?”

“Almost,” Josephine sighed, moving closer to lean her arm against Kaitrith’s. “The Grey Wardens will be taking control of Skyhold. I am not certain that is wise, considering their previous dealings, but it will keep both Ferelden and Orlais from arguing over who received so strategic a fort.” She hesitated. “There may still be scuffles, but we will have done all we could.”  

Kaitrith nodded slowly. There had been a group of Ferelden wardens who had rebelled against Clarel before Alistair. They had been protected by the crown, of all things, and Clarel had turned a blind eye as fighting with Ferelden when she wanted to start an army in Orlais would have been detrimental to her goals, allowing them to stay in Denerim whilst she and the others went to Adamant.

Alistair had left Denerim, hence the hunt for him.

“When will it be official?”

“Whenever Warden Velanna gets here to sign the papers.”

Kaitrith nodded, mostly to herself. Of the wardens who had been in Denerim, Velanna was supposedly Dalish, and Kaitrith liked the idea of turning over an ancient elven castle to another Dalish, even if she was accepting it on behalf of the Wardens.

She’d given Keeper Deshanna copies of the lore she’d managed to jot down—she’d recruited quite a few people to make multiple copies, and Josephine had teased that she was becoming more of a scholar every day.

The voices did not come to her as easily as they once had. She suspected Fen’harel was behind that. As much as she wanted to beat him with something, she still felt like, all things considered, she’d done well.

Kaitrith had never imagined she would be much of anything more than an annoyance to her clan, a member who caused eye rolls and frowns that she so oft reciprocated. When she’d lost her best friends at the Conclave, she’d wondered if she would even go back, failing as she had, and yet…

And yet the Dalish had recovered more of their history through her in a few months than most clans managed in years.

They didn’t have everything, but they were moving forward, as they always did.

And it was time for her to do the same.

“You should know,” Josephine began, moving to wrap an arm around Kaitrith’s waist. When Kaitrith embraced her as well, she grinned. “Yvette is quite excited for our arrival. Antoine sent a warning in his most recent letter. He says to expect a party.”

At that, Kaitrith let out a low groan.  “Has he at least tried to make sure it’s a small one?”

“I believe so. I wrote him back about what themes should be avoided at all costs, and he’s a good sort, so I feel safe that we will not be walking into anything too dire.”

Despite baulking at the idea of a party, Kaitrith leaned her head against Josephine’s shoulder to hide her smile. “I should have scared your sister away when I had the chance.”

“I assure you, she is only a pain to those she completely adores,” Josephine whispered before kissing Kaitrith’s temple.

Lifting her head, Kaitrith caught Josephine in a kiss, loving the feel of the way their mouths molded together. The kissed, hands roaming and pulling each other closer until they were breathless.

When they finally broke apart, Josephine gently gripped Kaitrith’s hand and led her back into their room. “Now then, after Skyhold is claimed, that should be everything, yes?”

“Yes,” Kaitrith nodded. “We’re as untangled from the Creators and Dread Wolf as we’ll ever be able to be.”

Josephine smiled, pausing to close the balcony door before moving to help Kaitrith out of her clothes for the night. “Good. It will be hard enough being tangled in Antivan business dealings without Gods dropping in to make things worse.”

With a laugh, Kaitrith caught Josephine’s hand between her cheek and shoulder and then moved to press a quick kiss to her fingers. “I imagine I’ll be wanting to toss myself back to the Gods’ whims in no time.”

“You’d better not,” Josephine warned, abruptly tugging Kaitrith closer and wrapping her arms around her. “It’s about time I got you to myself, and I do not intend to share you, not even with Gods and especially not with that Dread Wolf.”

“I’m glad we agree on that,” Kaitrith murmured, laying her arm over one of Josephine’s and squeezing her hand.

And with that, Kaitrith and Josephine retired for the night, moving on to whatever might come next.


	30. Antiva City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trash, and I lied, this works as an end chapter much better. 
> 
> Thank you to white_tiger for the prompt!

Kaitrith took in a deep breath as she walked through the crowded docks, hand entwined with Josephine’s. It felt odd, not carrying at least some of their luggage, but the Chargers had come with them and followed with everything, and every time Kaitrith pointed out that she could carry something, one of them would make a big deal about how their esteemed ‘Lady’ need not do so much.

They were being asses, but she couldn’t stay mad at them when their antics let her hold Josie’s hand. To be in such a foreign place, with so much going on around them, was a little trying on the nerves.

Her inability to stay cross with the Chargers wasn’t just about being able to stay close to Josephine, however.

Bull had said something about having one final adventure before the mercenary group split ways with them, though Kaitrith had brushed him off. In truth, she didn’t want them to go. They were her first real friends outside of her clan—and even in her clan she’d had very few—and she didn’t want to part ways with them.

Seeing as she’d always adjusted to change rather well, she was a bit surprised at how torn she was with this imminent parting of ways.

When she felt Josie’s hand squeeze hers, she looked over in time for her lover to peck her cheek.

“Come now. With a frown like that you’ll scare father away, and then mother will have to duel you for his honor.” Josephine arched her eyebrows with mock worry. “And she’s quite handy with a throwing dagger.”

“Your mother uses throwing daggers.”

With a sigh and an eye roll, Josephine tossed her free hand in the air. “Mostly, it is just for show, however, it does not hurt one to know how to use a blade, considering assassins are…everywhere.”

Her gaze wandered the crowd idly as though to drive home the point, and Kaitrith abruptly wondered if Fen’harel would ever stoop so low as to hire the Crows.

After all, it had to hurt that whatever he’d wanted was gone from his reach, again thanks to Kaitrith. He’d shown up in one or two dreams, glowering from a distance, but she hadn’t seen him since, and hoped dearly that she wouldn’t.

Josephine nudged Kaitrith with her shoulder. “I jest, dear lady. Come. I should think you would know by now that I would not walk you into a trap unprepared.”

“Says the woman who just thought to mention her mother has throwing knives.”

“Only for duels for family honor,” Josephine clucked, again squeezing Kaitrith’s hand. “Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

Even as Kaitrith tried to muster the bravado to make a believable lie that she believed it would turn out fine, a voice cut through the chatter around them.

“Josie!”

She’d barely heard the voice before a tall, lithe man was wrapping Josephine in a bear hug and twirling her out of Kaitrith’s grasp. She stood there, hand moving to the hilt of her blade, though Josephine’s laugh made her stop before she could draw it.

When the twirling finally stopped, Josephine’s hair was a tangled mess, and her cheeks were flushed with laughter. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she found Kaitrith, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her side. “May I introduce you to one of my younger brothers, Laurien. And Laurien, this is Kaitrith Lavellan, savior of Thedas and love of my life.”

Heat rose to Kaitrith’s cheeks at that introduction, despite herself. How many times had they said ‘I love you’? It still made her heart flutter.

The man appraised Kaitrith, cocking his head to one side as he looked her over. He was so similar to Josephine, with the same long, wavy hair, the same nose, the same swarthy complexion. However, there was a mischief in his eyes that she rarely saw in Josephine’s and without meaning to, she found herself narrowing her eyes, lips twitching a little lower.

With an abrupt bow, the man smiled at Kaitrith. “It is a pleasure.”

Kaitrith offered a bow back—through her time in Skyhold, Josephine had helped her get accustomed to such traditions, even if she didn’t usually do them. She’d been practicing them on the voyage to Antiva, as well, mostly with Krem, and only because Krem had happened to catch her when she thought she had found some privacy.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Her voice fell a little flat, but neither Montilyet seemed to notice.

Instead, Laurien gripped Josephine in another tight hug as she tried to smooth out her hair and rocked her back and forth a few times.

“I’ve missed you dear sister.”

“By that, you mean you’ve missed my being around to clean up your messes,” Josephine quipped when he finally let her go again. With that, the two fell into playful banter, catching up and exchanging stories. Laurien was quick to ask Kaitrith to join in, though she had a bit of trouble finding her voice until after Bull offered to tell a few stories on her behalf.

Once they’d made it to the carriages, and everything had been packed away, Laurien looked over their motley crew and grinned. “How would you all like a tour of the city, hmm?”

“Laurien, we’ve just gotten in,” Josephine protested, though she quickly turned to Kaitrith, assuring her, “There is so much to see, and I would not have you do so with weary eyes. I would not want your first impression of Antiva City to be a bleak one.”

At that, Kaitrith couldn’t help a small smile for the first time in what felt like days. She’d told Josephine before that she didn’t care where they were, so long as Josephine was there with her, but Josie had simply shaken her head, declaring it was no good if they didn’t both like where they lived on top of one another. After all, they _could_ live anywhere, so it might as well be somewhere pleasant to them both.

Even as Laurien protested that the carriages would give them time to rest between stops, Kaitrith found herself eyeing him again. “I thought there was going to be a party.”

Laurien straightened up, looking almost offended. “My good lady, I’ve no idea what you mean.”

“Antoine already told us.” Josephine sighed when Laurien scoffed something about a traitor. “Let me guess, You or Yvette were in charge of making sure everything was ready on time, and you forgot?”

Trying to look refined, despite being called out on his folly, Laurien tugged on his vest. “To be clear, Yvette was in charge of it, and I did my parts wonderfully. She’s just…trying to get a few things rounded up before the party.”

“Things,” echoed Josephine, brow furrowed.

“Don’t expect those skills of yours to get any more out of me. Unlike Antoine, _I_ can keep a secret.”

Josephine rolled her eyes again and leaned toward Kaitrith. “In other words, he doesn’t know what Yvette was after.”

Even as Krem offered that it wouldn’t hurt to take a bit of a detour through the city, Bull let out a laugh. “Let’s crash this party before they’re done setting up.”

“C’mon, chief, give them a break.”

Bull narrowed his eyes, straightening to his full height as he looked down at Krem, making a point to show he was suspicious. “Josie, Kaitrith. You’re the ladies of honor. What do you think?”

Josephine crossed her arms and then brought one hand up to tap her chin, eyeing Laurien and then looking toward Kaitrith. “I think I am curious to see what my siblings are up to, though if you would like to take a break before madness ensues, perhaps a detour in the city would be for the best after all. What say you, love?”

Glancing from face to face and then around the street they stood beside—the carriage drivers waiting patiently for news on where to go—Kaitrith finally allowed another small smile as she arched a brow. “Let’s see what your family’s up to.”

“Ah, I see how this is. The two of you are quite wicked together,” Laurien murmured, though he quickly grinned again. “Very well, but do not come to me if you do not like what you find.”

Josephine simply scoffed as he turned and opened the door to the carriage, bowing for the ladies to enter. As he straightened up, helping Josephine and then Kaitrith into the carriage, he paused, looking past them. “You, come with us. It will likely be a tight fit in the other carriages with your large friend.”

And with that, Krem awkwardly climbed in, joining them.

At first both Kaitrith and Krem were too fascinated with the scenery—with Josephine excited pointing out places that she recognized and Laurien commenting on places that had changed—but as time went on, Laurien began to ask Krem questions about himself, always listening carefully to his answers and appraising him as though _he_ were the one courting Josephine.

Despite the fact that Kaitrith had been corresponding with most of the Montilyets via letters for almost a year now, she still felt like she was walking into some sort of trap. They had seemed quite friendly in their letters, save for Josephine’s youngest brother who very rarely had much to say. Still, words on a paper were quite different from speaking with one face to face.

However, as the carriage ride continued on, winding through the city, the four of them fell into a more comfortable conversation, with Krem and Kaitrith teasing one another much as Josephine and Laurien did.

By the time they’d reached the Montilyet estate, the tension had passed, though it seemed to hit both Krem and Kaitrith as they stepped out to the front steps of the mansion.

Leaning toward her, Krem whispered, “Skyhold was better,” before straightening back up and pretending he hadn’t said anything.

Kaitrith found herself missing her left arm, as she would have liked to elbow him for that, but instead she pretended she hadn’t heard anything and gladly took Josephine’s hand again as they walked up the steps.

They were led quickly through a yawning foyer and upstairs to rooms where they could put their belongings and have a chance to freshen up.

Kaitrith had just come out of her room to find Josephine and Laurien already there, catching up, when a familiar voice interrupted the friendly banter.

“You!”

Looking up, Yvette stormed up, heels muted by the carpet going down the hall.

“Hello dear sister,” Laurien began, though when Yvette reached him, she shoved him.

“You were not supposed to bring them here yet!” Even as she readied to yell further, Krem and Bull came up to join them and her voice faltered a little as her hands went to her hair, as though she feared some of it might have fallen out of place. “Cremisius, Iron Bull, it is a pleasure to see you again.”

At that, Josephine straightened up a little, glancing back at the others. “Oh? You are friends?”

Yvette fidgeted a little before shrugging. “Krem was quite the gentleman while I stayed in Skyhold. I simply could not remember how to navigate that old castle, and he was always very kind and helpful, showing me to wherever I needed to go.”

True to his nature, Bull was spinning puns with Krem’s name with impressive speed that had Krem holding his head in his hands to hide. When Bull was finally done, he smacked Krem on the back, laughing at his own jokes.

Krem rolled his eyes, though he stilled when he saw that Kaitrith, Josephine, and Laurien were all watching him. Coughing into his hand, he shifted a little uncomfortably before Bull caught him in a headlock and tousled his hair. “You be good to my boy, you here?”

Well.

That explained Laurien’s interest in the carriage, didn’t it?

Realizing that she wasn’t the only love interest being vetted by the family made Kaitrith feel surprisingly better.

“Oh, you really did lose your arm,” Yvette murmured. She was standing in front of Kaitrith now, her earlier embarrassment either gone or well concealed.

It crossed Kaitrith’s mind that she was just trying to change the subject, but she simply nodded. “It was a liability.”

Josephine sidled up beside her, slipping an arm around her waist. “So then, where is Antoine?”

“Out,” both Laurien and Yvette responded in unison before glancing at one another. “He’s…handling some things with Father. And mother is off rescuing our last dear brother from his latest mishap. I’m afraid they won’t be back for a while.”

“All four of them?” Kaitrith asked.

“Just the latter two,” Laurien assured her. “Mother adores you, though, so expect another party when she returns.”

“Antoine and Father should be home tonight,” Yvette added, casting glare toward Laurien.

Even as the siblings had a silent conversation through glares and minute facial expressions, Josephine leaned toward her. “I told you it would be madness.”

“And yet,” Kaitrith couldn’t fight back the smile that towed her lips up, “I’d take this over darkspawn magisters and trickster gods any day.”

Beaming, Josephine tugged Kaitrith closer, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, though she was quickly rolling her eyes as both her younger siblings made teasing jests about how sappy the two of them were.

Being in Antiva was strange, but at the same time, Kaitrith had never felt more at home in her life.


	31. Nonni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short story from before Kaitrith was the Herald, back when she was still with her clan.

**K** aitrith had seen the occasional elf seeking refuge with the Dalish in her time as a guard for her clan, but she had never seen a group quite as pitiful as this one when they came stumbling up through the woods.

Never heard one, either, and heard this lot she had. Well before she’d seen them.

The entire damned forest must have heard them coming, and it surprised her that they’d managed to evade templar detection long enough to get out here when she did creep close enough to see them.

They were mages, three total, two adult elves and one child trailing behind them on shaky, worn-out legs that seemed to be moved by something more than the child herself.

Not possession, but fear.

Potent and fresh.

They were being hunted then?

Kaitrith pulled herself up into one of the trees as they drew closer, careful that they wouldn’t see her. If they were being hunted, there was no reason to bring that on the clan. She would let them wander past and make sure they didn’t take a wrong turn and head toward camp.

Clan Lavellan was passing near one of the shem cities, not that Kaitrith had bothered to learn which. She didn’t care. Brira could keep track of that nonsense--and she did, though how she managed to keep all the shem drama straight while still studying as the Keeper’s First was beyond Kaitrith.

What she had heard, however, was that another clan was suffering, and they’d initially gone this way to see if they could help. Word now, however, was that the clan had already fled.

Worse, there had been some sort of...unfortunate event in the human’s city.

An explosion of some kind. It had Keeper Deshanna riled up, and everyone was on alert.

The humans were supposedly in a panicked state, which meant they’d be doubly quick to point blame where it wasn’t due, and Clan Lavellan intended to be well out of reach before fingers could be raised.

For now, it was just a matter of getting everything ready to move again before they left this place and all its turmoil behind. Because they wanted to make sure not to become entangled in anything local, all the guards had been given strict orders not to let anyone find their way to the camp.

No one.

It had seemed easy enough an order, especially seeing as the few city elves Kaitrith had ever met tended to turn around and backtrack once they met her.  

The elven mage trio, adorned in their odd robes that made them stick out horribly, had stopped, just a little way before her tree. Without thinking, she crept closer to get a better view of them. They’d been talking, but as she settled into a tree with a better view, there was a lull in their conversation.

Kaitrith held her breath, watching their ears for any indication that they’d picked up on her breathing or the like.

Luckily, they were too absorbed in their own issues to notice her.

There oldest of them was an elf with a receding hair-line and a broken arm that had been put into a rather crude sling. He knelt in front of the littlest of their party, brushing some of her dark hair back and -- Kaitrith assumed, as his back was mostly to her -- gave the child a reassuring smile.

“We have to keep going.”

“I know,” came the meek reply. The little girl looked like she might cry, and Kaitrith felt an odd twinge in her chest.

Usually, she could watch people wander past and not feel a thing, but somehow this little girl was just so...

Hopeless.

No child should be that hopeless.

Still. The Keeper’s orders had been strict. They were not to make contact with any city elves, especially considering they’d be heading off in the next day or so. And seeing as these were mages, there was almost surely a search party looking for them.

There was no reason to make things more complicated. She had her clan to protect.

The other elf started to offer the little one a water flask and then paused when they realized it was empty.

Either they were idiots who couldn’t ration things properly, or they’d been in too much of a hurry to run to gather what they’d need.

“Nonni, it’s okay. There’s got to be a stream nearby.”

There was a sniffle.

Kaitrith’s brow pinched together. She felt another twinge in her heart.

They were casting some spell on her. That had to be it. Or they knew she was there and were trying to make themselves pitiful enough to garner sympathy, surely.

Rather than break out into tears, however, the little girl simply nodded and took one of their hands as they began to make their way through the woods again.

Kaitrith tailed them, telling herself she’d just make sure they didn’t head toward the camp. She was just being a competent guard.

However, when they decided to turn in a direction that would lead them further from the stream they’d promised the little one, Kaitrith’s brow twitched, and she finally stepped out of hiding.

Fire was conjured in both adults’ hands as she purposely stepped on a twig to announce her presence, though it snuffed out just as quickly, and suddenly three terrified elves were staring at her, breath held, waiting for her to decide their fate.

Shit.

She’d made her blunder though, and there was no point in backtracking now. Continuing closer, she offered the little one her own waterskin, frowning when the child didn’t immediately take it. The adult without the broken arm, younger  with stark red hair, grabbed it as she moved to put it back on her hip, and she watched them, nonplussed, as they took a swallow before handing it off to the little girl.

She whispered a faint thank you just as the oldest began to speak.

“I would thank you in elvhen, if I knew the words.”

There was sincerity in his voice, but Kaitrith’s eyes still rolled slowly toward him. Crossing her arms, she lifted one hand to motion to them. “You’re a long way from home.”

…-...

Keeper Deshanna was furious.

It had been such a simple order, and yet somehow Kaitrith, of all people, had been the one to bring three bedraggled mages into their midst.

Kaitrith probably hadn’t won any points toward forgiveness when she’d pointed at them, named them, and then walked back to her post without another word.

Despite knowing how livid the Keeper had to be, the woman never said anything of it, though that might have been because she never had a chance.

The little one, Nonni, had spent the whole trek to camp asking questions, tentative at first, hesitating whenever Kaitrith glanced down at her. However, when Kaitrith offhandedly said not to fret because she looked at everyone with the same frown and critical glare, the little girl had perked up and matched her pace, testing her words with many of her own, rambling on about how she’d always wanted to meet the People.

Kaitrith had been quick to explain they weren’t offering a permanent haven to them, but a reprieve from all their walking surely wouldn’t hurt.

She hoped.

And she’d been right.

And more than that, Nonni always sought her out, proving to be even more energetic and optimistic than Brira. The two of them took turns harassing Kaitrith during her duties and when she wanted to sleep -- in other words, every waking minute -- but Kaitrith didn’t mind.

They both accepted her as she was, and treated her like her frowns were just as welcoming as any smile.

Secretly, it made Kaitrith happy that they’d been able to help. She sometimes compared the tiny, terrified child to the girl who pestered her now and she could barely reconcile that they were the same person.

Nonni so wholeheartedly threw herself to Dalish culture.

There had been murmurs that taking in so many mages would make their clan a target when they already had three, but the eldest of the elven apostates -- Orsino, he’d introduced himself as -- had headed off once he was certain the other two would be safe.

Off to save other mages, shem ones, if the rumors were true.

Again, it wasn’t Kaitrith’s business, so she didn’t keep track of it.

The last mage didn’t transition into the clan quite so quick, but they fared well enough, keeping Nonni close and doing their best, though they knew long before they did that they would be leaving the clan when they felt they could.

That ended up being near the Rivaini border.

Nonni, though, she stayed.

She stayed and she sought Kaitrith out every chance she got, despite everyone -- including Kaitrith -- telling her that others would likely be better for answering her questions.

She also came to Kaitrith to show her every new spell she’d been taught, mastered or not. Kaitrith occasionally asked her ridiculous questions, like whether someone had taught her how to fling boulders with her mind yet. While she didn’t know much about magic, she always tried to make the questions as bizarre as possible, because they made Nonni giggle.

Brira teased her that the little one had adopted her, and Kaitrith always made a point to grumble, though she didn’t say much else.

In truth, she felt a kinship with the child, though she couldn’t explain why.

And it was that kinship that made her realize that while she knew Nonni’s favorite tales of the Dread Wolf and who she planned on getting her vallaslin made after and all that, she didn’t know much about where the child came from.

And so, in an attempt to get to know the child better, to allow her to not completely forsake the world she’d come from just to fit into the Dalish clan, Kaitrith had asked her what the shem city had been like.

Nonni’s smile was gone in an instant.

It was like a switch had been flipped.

Suddenly, the energetic, bubbly little girl was gone, and that terrified little child was back, shifting her weight from foot to foot before whispering that she had to go.

She avoided Kaitrith for almost a month, though as much as that hurt, it wasn’t until she started hearing from the others that Nonni was drifting, losing her fire, that Kaitrith finally sought her out.

Dropping down to sit beside the child, she ignored the curious looks people gave her and acted like Nonni being beside her was a coincidence rather than planned. After a few awkward hellos, Kaitrith fumbled for something to say.

She’d never been good with apologies.

And then Brira had sat on Nonni’s other side and smiled. “Did you ever get Kait to tell you about the time she beat three shem templars at once?”

Nonni had perked up a little, daring a hopeful look toward Kaitrith, who had shrugged and rolled her eyes as Brira launched into the story, jumping to her feet to mimic fighting.

Though her posture was atrocious and would have left her dead in a breath, Kaitrith didn’t critique her like she usually would have.

Nonni was smiling again.

By the end of the tale, Nonni had edged closer to her again, staring up at her with something she couldn’t name. Adoration?

Kaitrith fiddle with one of her boots a moment before shrugging and motioning to Nonni. “So. Has the Keeper taught you how to make the halla fly yet?”

She was surprised how much tension left her at the sound of the giggle that ensued.

…-...

The Conclave had gone wrong and Brira was dead.

While Kaitrith was trying to figure out how she could have failed so spectacularly -- she’d been there to protect their first -- that dwarf who’d been eyeing her a while came over. She barely heard his rambles until he mentioned something about being from Kirkwall.

That was where Nonni was from.

She’d meant to ask him if he’d known her -- thank the Creators they hadn’t let her come with them, despite her incessant pleas -- but whatever interest she managed to show led to a long-winded story about the horrible happenings in the years past.

Of all the templars had done to the mages.

Kaitrith had known enough to dislike them before, but now…

If half of what the dwarf said was true, the entire city deserved to be razed.

Nonni had lived there.

The way she’d shut down at the mere memory of the place…

Brira was dead, and Kaitrith finally knew the sort of things that haunted Nonni in her dreams.

Just as she thought nothing could get worse, Varric had sighed and then pointed to a shem wandering past them with that overzealous seeker. “And it looks like Seeker’s come to claim you.”

Kaitrith looked up, watching the duo come up, heart sinking as they stopped in front of her. As they did, a templar rushed up to them, stopping and calling out, “Knight-commander!”

Despite being chastised, Kaitrith waited until the templar was gone to look at the shem, a blonde man, chin stubbled and circles under his eyes. She knew little of the shem culture, but… “Knight-commander? Of templars?”

He coughed into his hand and then reached up to rub the back of his neck. “I haven’t been that since Kirkwall.”

Brira was dead. There was nothing Kaitrith could do to fix that.

But for Nonni…

Kaitrith made a point of shoving past the bastard before glaring at Cassandra and heading toward the Chantry to meet with the rest of the shem monsters who were calling her their savior. Killing him would be easy, but he deserved so much worse.

She’d find out more about him, find out if he was really one of the templars who had hurt Nonni, and then she would make him suffer. 

It was the least she could do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	32. A True Kremtleman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the chapter title. I wanted to channel Bull's dad jokes, but was unable to.

The first time he saw her, he had to try not to laugh. Here they were in Skyhold, and the young lady was wearing a long gown that swept across the ground, gathering dust and dirt and twigs every time she let go of her skirts to ask someone for help.

It was not that the good people of Skyhold weren’t a helpful lot, but she was quite terrible at navigating the different stairs and passages, and after watching her get turned around thrice in the large courtyards, Krem finally felt the need to save the poor lady.

“Ser…?”

“Oh!” She let out such a charming little start when she turned to see him standing behind her, a hand fluttering to her heart, large, dark eyes widening for an instant.

And then her noble’s mask was in place.

Not that she seemed overly snobbish.

But her head was held high, shoulders relaxed—and on a rather lovely display in her lowcut dress—and voice a gentle lilt that he could have listened to for hours.

“I do not suppose you might help me? I have been trying to find my way Inquisitor Lavellan?”

At that, Krem arched his brow. Most everyone knew Kaitrith by reputation, and he’d never heard of a noble actually seeking her out on her own. Typically, they sought Lady Montilyet and then reluctantly were dragged into meetings with the prickly elf.

Appraising the young noble with new interest, he crossed his arms. “Begging your pardon, ser, but the inquisitor is a busy woman. Have you made an appointment?”

The young noble looked like she was about to respond quickly, but then thought better of it, her delicate shoulders slumping a little. “I…oh! Forgive me!” Immediately, she stooped into a deep bow that took Krem aback.

He wasn’t used to being treated so graciously, but he managed to fumble his way through his own bow as well, wondering just exactly where the noblewoman was going with this.

“I am Yvette Montilyet, and I have come to see my sister, Josephine.”

Looking over her now, Krem could see the family resemblance—the tawny complexion, the long, lovely hair, that sweet Antivan accent—and he managed another bow, more befitting the ambassador’s sister. “Cremisius Aclassi, of the Bull’s Chargers. I don’t know much about your sister’s schedule, but I can show you to her office. I’m sure her assistant can find time to let her know you’re here—”

“Oh, no, no.” Yvette wrung her laced hands together, gaze shifting toward the ground most guiltily. “I was actually hoping to speak with the inquisitor first.”

Krem couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow. “May I ask why?”

“She and my sister fancy one another, do they not?” She paused a breath too long as though to give Krem time to offer that they did not. “My brothers and I wish to know more of the woman who would woo our sister.”

There was a slight flush to her cheeks as she said that, and Krem couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “You know, the inquisitor isn’t fond of gossip.”

Yvette straightened up, indignant. “It is not gossip if I wish to speak to her myself.”

“Well, I suppose you could, but then she can be a bit wrathful sometimes.” Krem liked watching the way her face changed in reaction to what he said. She might be a noble, but she still wore her heart on her sleeve.

Hadn’t he heard Lady Montilyet’s younger sister had been in Orlais? How had she managed against all those conniving nobles?

“ _That_ sounds more like gossip, Ser Aclassi.”

He tried—and failed spectacularly—to hide his growing smile. “No, no. Merely a warning. I happen to be friends with the inquisitor, you know.”

While he half expected her to quip something about rumors saying Kaitrith had no friends, he was pleased when she instead tilted her head, appraising him more carefully. “You are?” When he nodded, she bit her lip, glancing down again as she debated something slowly. When she looked up at him again, it was through her lashes, and his heart just about stopped. “I don’t suppose…you could tell me a few things about her before I meet her?” She was quick to add, “not gossip. Real things. So that, perhaps I do not step on toes or…”

With another bow, Krem offered her one of his arms, a little surprised when she slipped hers around his so quickly, settling in as though she were meant to be on his arm. “Come. I know a few places we can sit and talk, if you’d like.”

“Thank you, Ser Aclassi. I’ve been on my feet all morning.”

He made a point of not saying that he knew. “If you like, you can call me Krem. I’ve never been much for formalities.”

“Krem,” she said, feeling the name out carefully before nodding. “I do not believe I said it before, but it is a pleasure to meet you.”

A pleasure indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm hoping to have a Nonni chapter up next, though I don't know when that will be.


	33. A Pleasant Surprise

The words had run dry.

For almost a month now, Kaitrith had not been able to hear a single whisper from the voices of the Well. For almost a month, her mind had been her own again, free to wander as it pleased, and for a month, she’d waited for all of it to come back.

She’d braced herself, knowing how overwhelming it would be to have those voices chattering away again, not wanting to be knocked off her feet like the first time.

That was, until last night.

Last night, as she’d been drifting to sleep, playing with Josephine’s hair and listening to her slumber, it had finally dawned on her what must have happened.

She’d been learning to better navigate the voices, and she’d been searching them for information on how Solas had put the Veil up in the first place. If she could find how he’d done it, maybe she would be able to figure out how he was going to bring it down.

Granted, bound to him as she was, thanks to the Well, she hadn’t been sure how much she’d actually be able to help others, but she’d at least hoped to keep herself and the few she cared for safe in whatever mess was to come.

He must have felt her growing close—or just been insulted by her attempts—and closed off her ability to hear the past whispers.

The bastard.

While she wasn’t sure—didn’t really know a way she _could_ be sure—she’d spent the morning mulling it over and this seemed like it was the most plausible explanation.

After all, the world wasn’t ending yet, so far as she knew, so why else would the voices go silent?

“You know,” Josephine’s voice whispered in her ear and Kaitrith nearly jumped out of her skin. When she turned, Josephine had a slight smile parting her lips as she watched her. “Forgive me, love. I should have announced myself.”

Kaitrith reached out and caught her hand, pressing a quick kiss into her palm. “It’s fine.”

“Were I Yvette, I’d be running for my life right now.”

“You’re not Yvette,” Kaitrith said, leaning against the back of her chair as she looked up at Josephine. “Do I know what?”

“Oh, to business, I see,” Josephine teased, sitting on the edge of Kaitrith’s desk. They shared a study off their bedroom, with a desk for each of them. While some had been skeptical that they might tire of one another’s constant presence, neither of them minded at all. They both valued the work the other did, and neither were about to pester the other unless it was clear that they weren’t preoccupied with business. When Kaitrith offered her a fleeting smile and waved her hand to go on, Josephine motioned toward the window. “It occurs to me that it has been months since we arrived, and I have not yet given you a proper surprise.”  

“A surprise,” Kaitrith echoed carefully, eyeing Josephine.

With a confident nod, Josie motioned toward their room. “If you’ve no need of your time this afternoon, may I suggest changing into something light and meeting me downstairs?”

As she spoke, Kaitrith realized that she was wearing a simpler outfit than usual, something light and breezy—still presentable, yet clearly made with the warmer days in mind.

And it did get quite warm in Antiva, during the summer.

Despite her curiosity, Kaitrith simply nodded. It wasn’t like she was going to get any writing done, and as much as she itched to move, it would either be this or training, and to be honest, she preferred her time with Josie.

When she reached the foyer, Josephine met her with a blindfold and a grin. While she eyed her lover, she put the blindfold on, having to promise thrice that she couldn’t see under or over any part of the fabric.

Josephine told her to keep her eyes closed for good measure, and let her out of the house by the hand and into a carriage.

The ride was absurdly normal if not for the blindfold. They talked about the typical things, the weather, Yvette’s and Krem’s budding romance, when the Chargers would be back around, what they ought to do together in the coming week—they always made sure to have time for one another, outside of soirees and family dinners.

Now that they’d done their part saving the world—for all the good it did with the new impending doom looming over them—they were finally allowing themselves to settle down.

The air was thick with salt and the cawing of gulls by the time the carriage rolled to a stop, more so than usual, and Kaitrith had an inkling of where they were going.

The beach.

In the months that they had been there, somehow they’d never found the time to go. Krem had come over on a few days, showing off shells he and Yvette had found, and suggesting to Kaitrith that it was rather fun—more fun than the Tevinter beaches had ever been, at least according to him.

However, even knowing what was coming didn’t prepare her for what she saw when Josephine finally removed her blindfold.

These waters were nothing like the Waking Sea. The waves were gentler here than on the Storm Coast—far, far gentler—and the water itself seemed lighter somehow. It struck Kaitrith as odd, considering that the oceans were all connected as they were.

More than that, though, the water was shallow, and…pooled. She could see things just below the surface in those pools, fish swimming in quick, erratic circles, looking for a way out, and other objects, round and spiked, twisted and colorful.

The sand glistened, the waves crashed in a dull lullaby, and Josephine beamed.

That alone made the entire trip worth it. Kaitrith would have gladly wandered through the Fallow Mire for a smile like that from Josephine.

“I thought you might like the tidepools.” Josephine leaned a little closer to Kaitrith, clasping one of her hands. “The sea air is quite refreshing, too. Certainly more so when it is not trying to squeeze its way through a window. Especially one you barely open.”

While Kaitrith did typically enjoy a breeze, that was only when she was outside. Indoors, she wasn’t fond of having to make sure there was a paperweight on every paper stack on her desk. She wrote quickly—well, she had—and it was always a hassle having to shift around the paperweights to move the papers and get new ones only to have them scatter into the room the second she lifted her hand.

Dagna had sent her a few sketches of prototype arm replacements, though Kaitrith hadn’t bothered to respond to that. She had a sinking feeling that the dwarf would show up on their doorstep any day with something that shot arrows or…fire or…

She didn’t want to think of the possibilities.

She spent enough time training with a single-handed mace; she didn’t need to learn a new weapon arm.

Now, if Dagna could make an actual arm, without the fancy additions, Kaitrith could appreciate that…

But…

Josephine was waiting for an answer.

Smiling a little shyly, Kaitrith nodded quickly, not entirely sure what the question had been—if there’d been one. “This is really nice.”

Giddy, Josephine practically jumped at that. Instead, she leaned forward and pecked Kaitrith’s cheek before leading her toward the closest pool. “Come, come. Let us see if we can’t find something that will put Yvette’s collection to shame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :D


	34. Unexpected

“Josephine had to go into town with Lord and Lady Montilyet,” Kaitrith murmured as she parried another of Krem’s attacks. They’d been sparring out on the field when he’d let her know that one of the servants was coming their way.

While Kaitrith adored Josephine unconditionally, the rest of her family were a bit up in the air--she could be made to resentfully admit that Yvette was not so bad, if pressed--and her servants were…

They still seemed wary of the mysterious Dalish elf, even after all these months, and so Kaitrith had little interest in them beyond not making their lives unnecessarily difficult without cause.

If someone spilled her tea, she didn’t care. If someone called her a knife-ear, she could make them shrink in on themselves with a look. It was how she’d always operated, and how people always responded, and so she didn’t concern herself too much with it in general.

While they had seemed to at least find an odd compromise, where she didn’t bother most of them at this point and they didn’t bother her, there was still always an awkwardness when any of them interacted with just Kaitrith.

So much so that she’d declared Josephine’s absence as the one had drawn near rather than let them linger beside the training grounds, dithering over what to say.

“Yes, Lady....Lavellan.” That they still didn’t know what to call her after all these months was a mite bit annoying, as well. It probably had something to do with the way she stared at them whenever they said it. “You have a visitor.”

Krem’s next attack nearly caught Kaitrith on her sword arm as her attention snapped to the servant. “What?”

While Krem offered a quick apology, the timid looking lady who had come to get her motioned over her shoulder, trying to maintain a professional air. “There is another from your clan here to see you, Lady Lavellan.”

This time, the title was spoken with more confidence.

Before the woman could elaborate, Kaitrith was making a beeline to the house.

She’d explained to Keeper Deshanna, hadn’t she? She was connected, somehow, with the Dread Wolf, and they needed to keep as far from her as they could. Especially with what they guarded. That light of Mythal’s.

If someone was here...did that mean something had happened? Had the clan been attacked? Was the end beginning?

Would it matter if she knew?

She darted past a few maids who pressed their backs to the wall as she hurried by, giving her ample room, her focus making her miss the way they whispered that she looked like she was out for blood.

It wasn’t until she was standing in the foyer that she dared slow her pace, and it was as she did so that she saw her.

For a moment, she was unrecognizable. Her hair was longer, and braided up in an intricate pattern, and she was a great deal taller than the last time Kaitrith had seen her, but when she turned toward her, her face lit up and she would have recognized that smile anywhere.

“Nonni?” Kaitrith didn’t return the warmth. “What’s happened? What brought you here? Is the clan safe?”

Even as she spoke, her fellow elf’s gaze wandered over her and then her eyes widened. “You really lost your arm.”

The words were spoken as a whisper, and immediately, she looked embarrassed to have spoken them. “I mean, you look good. It’s not that...noticeable…”

For her to be this hung up on something so trivial meant that the clan couldn’t have been hurt, surely. Shoulders sagging a little, Kaitrith abruptly felt the wear of hurrying so quickly catching up with her. “Nonni.”

“Kaitrith,” Nonni replied, perking up. Then, she let out a soft gasp. “You asked questions...um, the clan is fine. Nothing’s really happened and, um, well, I wanted to see how you were doing.”

She stood tall and proud, nodding confidently to Kaitrith. Then, even as Kaitrith knit her brow together, she added, “It’s not the same without you and Brira around.”

“Leaving the Dalish life?” Kaitrith asked, head tilted. Nonni was still too young to have her vallaslin, and it made her look all the younger, to Kaitrith.

“No!” she cried out, eyes wide as she gasped. “Never! I just...I thought you might want to know that I can make the halla fly now.”

There was a beat of silence before she grinned, and Kaitrith couldn’t help but roll her eyes, a half smile momentarily tugging at her lips. “Can you now?”

She nodded. “If you want to see, though, we’ll have to go somewhere where there’s halla.”

As soon as she said it, she looked a little guilty, though she quickly covered her tracks with a calm look, something neutral she’d probably learned from Keeper Deshanna.

“I’m surprised you’d come here by yourself.”

“Oh, we’re not far--”

Even as she spoke, Kaitrith let out a low hiss, taking a few steps back. “You can’t tell me where you--”

“We don’t have it anymore.” Nonni interjected, worriedly, hands up as though to quiet her. When Kaitrith’s brow pinched together, she shrugged. “We figured we’d always be suspect of having what the Dread Wolf wants, so we got rid of it. I won’t say to who or what or where. Just know that it’s gone.” She gave her a confident nod, standing proud and proper again.  

It took Kaitrith a moment to process all that she’d said before finally, she let out a relieved sigh. Allowing her fears to dissipate, she finally took stock of their surroundings as though they were unfamiliar to her and then motioned toward a hall just as Krem caught up.

“I put the equipment up…” he trailed off as he saw the elf so clearly dressed in Dalish garb standing next to Kaitrith.

She looked back at Nonni. “Come. You can stay here tonight. I’ll have someone get you a room and I’ll go wash up.”

“Actually,” the younger elf said, gaze to the side as she fell out of her confident stance to rock from heels to toes and back. “I thought we could take advantage of the afternoon light so that we can get back sooner.”

Kaitrith hesitated. “Get back?”

“Home,” Nonni replied, concerned. “I came to bring you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	35. Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been trying to work on this chapter all month, but it finally came together today.

Josephine sat on the edge of their bed as she watched Kaitrith pack a light bag. She was going to take Nonni back to her clan and make sure that it had been Nonni’s idea to ‘retrieve’ her, as she’d spat.

They’d never really talked about what it was that Kaitrith was giving up to be with Josephine. She knew that the clan had told her not to come back so long as they were together, but her love had made a point of immersing herself so completely in restoring her culture, keeping in communication with a few different clans to share the knowledge, if they would take it.

It hadn’t felt like she was truly shunned.

Not until now.

Nonni had seemed like a sweet girl, though she’d glared rather defiantly at Josephine the moment she walked into the room, all but daring her to claim a right to keep Kaitrith by her side.

That would be absurd, of course.

As much as Josephine loved Kaitrith, if she ever decided that this was not the life for her, she would accept it. She loved Kaitrith too much to try to keep her anywhere against her will.

And it was the fear that perhaps she would grow weary of human customs and politics, of the stares from and whispers from others, that had her on edge as she watched Kaitrith pack.

Kaitrith hadn’t noticed, mercifully enough. She was too busy cursing whoever might have put it in Nonni’s head that she needed rescuing.

“I saved the whole damned world, didn’t I?” She muttered as she crouched next to their dresser, hunting for something in the bottom drawer.

“And outsmarted a trickster God,” Josephine added. She nearly got up to see how she could help, but Kaitrith had already waved her off twice.

At that, Kaitrith rocked back a bit, her typical frown in place. “That’s the first time you’ve called my maiming myself outsmarting anyone.”

With a tentative smile, Josephine motioned to her. “Did you not keep other things from him? Cripple his plans?”

Kaitrith merely let out a grunt, gathering everything she’d been searching for into a simple pouch.

Despite her resolve, Josephine wanted to beg Kaitrith not to leave. Something about it felt so horribly final. It felt like she was watching her love head off to face Corypheus again, ridiculous as that sounded. There was an uncertainty that nagged at the back of her mind, that Kaitrith wouldn’t come back.

Which was ridiculous. They loved each other.

And yet, was it really fair for Josephine’s culture to be the one they defaulted to? She knew the clan hadn’t wanted her around, which had hurt somewhat, though she’d been able to understand. Watching the way Kaitrith toiled to preserve their history had made her understand.

However, that was a world she couldn’t be a part of, and she respected that.

But that didn’t mean she wanted to lose Kaitrith.

It was selfish, but Josephine would be lost without her.

When she realized that Kaitrith had begun to talk, she snapped out of her thoughts, quick mind piecing together the gist of what she’d missed.

“…it might take some time,” Kaitrith was saying, annoyance in her tone, though it disappeared into something gentler as she smiled at Josephine and leaned forward to kiss her. “I’ll try to be back in a week or two. I’ll send word if something comes up, not that it will.”

Josephine lost her composure at that, catching Kaitrith’s face and kissing her hard and long. When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathless.

“I’ll be waiting.”

…-…

The smile Kaitrith had given her, the quiet beaming of the generally moody elf, had been enough to last Josephine through the first week. Whenever her doubts began to surface, she just thought of the look Kaitrith had given her, and those fears were banished.

However, as the second week crept along, she began to feel more and more at odds with herself.

When they had been part of the Inquisition, Kaitrith had sometimes been gone for a month or two at a time, so Josephine would have thought she could stand a week or so.

And yet by the tenth day she was ready to go looking for Kaitrith. She told herself that it was to make sure bandits had not overpowered the two elves or something equally horrible, though…

Josephine was a diplomat, not a fighter. Could she charm a bandit into letting a lover go?

Despite her siblings attempts to keep her distracted, she’d just about gone mad by the time the eleventh night rolled around.

However, as she was heading toward another sleepless night, there was a light knock on her door. When she turned, she found Kaitrith standing there, that smile she so loved in place.

Rushing over to her, she met Kaitrith a few paces into the room, wrapping her arms around her and peppering her with kisses—nose, cheeks, lips, everywhere.

Kaitrith let out a rare laugh at that, letting her pack fall to the ground and tugging Josephine closer to catch her lips and deepen their kiss. Fingers tangled in hair, and fingers traced over familiar forms before Kaitrith finally pulled away from her.

While Josephine had been ready to tease her or just keep kissing her, she paused when she saw the serious look that slipped over Kaitrith’s face.

Instantly, trepidation replaced her joy.

Even so, Kaitrith held her gaze as she nodded toward her, a little awkwardly. “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you noticed the number of chapters got bumped up, it's because I realized my previous 'ending' left much to be desired, so hopefully this one will be a better one :3


	36. An Unusual Homecoming

When Kaitrith set foot in the Dalish camp, she felt the difference almost instantly. Truthfully, it had started before that, when the hunters first found her and Nonni upon their return.

Kaitrith’s clothes bore a distinct Dalish style, yet they were not Dalish, and beside the real attire, it was glaringly obvious. The stitches were different, the fabrics too. Her weapon was of dwarven make rather than iron bark or the weaker woods that most of her clan used.

She knew every face as they passed them, and yet she’d never felt more of a stranger.

Part of her wondered if they blamed her for Brira’s death. After all, the whole reason Kaitrith had been at the Conclave had been to protect their First, and like everything aside from keeping guard, she’d botched that up spectacularly.

For the first time in a long time, she considered that Brira would have made a better inquisitor, better vessel. _She_ should have been the elf coming back to the clan.

Kaitrith had never thought that she felt a strong kinship to her clan—she was always the awkward, overly blunt one that they kept away from children and other clans—and yet as she noticed the way people stopped what they were doing to stare at her as Nonni led her through the aravels to where Keeper Deshanna had to be, she felt like she’d lost something.

The eye rolls were gone, so too the sharp comments, the careful suggestions she go elsewhere before she upset someone as she was so prone to do.

Instead, it was silence.

Ahrenal was the one to stop their passage, stepping quietly, but directly into their path with his arms crossed. He was one of the better hunters in the clan, and he and Kaitrith had gotten into more than a few arguments throughout the years. Normally over petty, little things.

Even as he mirrored Kaitrith’s usual frown, he cocked his head to one side, gaze sweeping down her to where her arm should have been.

“So if I’m to believe the stories, we sent you to spy on a human gathering, but instead they made you their God, and their belief granted you strange powers. Then Fen’harel grew angry, for he is the only God who walks the world now. He tried to banish you like the rest of the Gods, but you were able to get away, at great expense.” He motioned to her missing arm.

That hush rolled back over them as they stood there. It felt like everyone in the camp was watching them and waiting for her to confirm or deny the wild story—that, unfortunately, wasn’t terribly far off, in her opinion. After a moment, she shrugged, trying not to feel the weight of everyone’s stares. “You forgot the part where I met Mythal.”

He appraised her a moment before letting out a sharp laugh. “You picked the wrong vallaslin.” Even as Kaitrith took in a slow breath, willing herself not to reach up to touch Elgarn’nan’s thorns on her cheeks, she rolled her eyes slowly toward him, and he grinned, reached out, and patted her shoulder. “Come. Keeper Deshanna is waiting.”

The walk was short and swift, though now that Ahrenal was with them, now that he’d spoken and…

Had he accepted her? Was that what that little conversation had been?

She wasn’t sure, but whatever it had been, it had banished the silence.

Now, the others whispered as they followed them, and Kaitrith almost felt like she could hear the well’s magic again.

Another wistful longing for anything to be happening other than what was swept through her, and she thought of Josephine. The image of her lover was a soothing balm, that made her breathing slow and her pace grow surer.

She would return Nonni, make sure Keeper Deshanna understood that she’d decided to live with Josephine, and then she’d go back to the life she was forging. Even as she considered that the first of her three goals was technically already accomplished, they were standing before Keeper Deshanna.

The old woman’s eyes crinkled as she inspected Kaitrith, and there was something there that baffled Kaitrith for a moment.

Pride.

Even as she half wondered if this was some strange dream, the keeper motioned over her shoulder. “Come, I would speak with you in private.”

The words were spoken just loud enough that the onlookers knew to keep their distance as Keeper Deshanna slipped up into her aravel and held back the curtain for Kaitrith to follow. Nonni gave her a quick hug before dropping back, and Kaitrith felt a little lost.

She should have been used to things tipping over on their head, and yet she’d somehow gotten it into her head that that was the shem world. Theirs was the one of chaos and uncertainty. Her clan was steadfast, unchanging in their ways, something that could be relied on.

And yet in not even an hour that too had been proven false. They no longer saw her the same, and she couldn’t help but wonder exactly what they saw now.

“Aneth ara, da’len.”

The words drew her out of her thoughts, and she blinked, staring across at Keeper Deshanna a moment before nodding. “Aneth ara.” The words were grounding, and Kaitrith abruptly let her bag drop beside her, rummaging through it as best she could with one hand. It was still a little awkward to do, even after so many months, but she managed well enough, pulling out a fairly fresh journal and offering it to her keeper. “This is the last of what I was able to…hear.” It felt odd talking about the voices that had gone silent. “It’s not complete, but—”

“You have been gone too long, da’len,” Keeper Deshanna offered gently. “You know we rarely deal with complete accounts of the past.”

Kaitrith frowned. “Yes, but—”

She cut herself off as the older elf held up a hand for silence. “Do not diminish what you have done.” Keeper Deshanna waited a beat to see if Kaitrith would protest further before continuing. “I would be lying if I told you that there were none skeptical of your blessing, but I believe, as do many others.”

Kaitrith felt a coil of fear in her stomach. Why did this sound so similar to the rhetoric of the Herald of Andraste?

“I have read all that you sent to our clan, some of what was sent to others. It fills in many blanks that we have had.” As the old woman nodded, satisfied, Kaitrith wanted to point out that there were many more left unfilled, many new ones opened and empty. She wished Josephine was there to hold her hand. “You never did know what to do with a bit of praise,” Keeper Deshanna smiled slightly before shaking her head, “so let me get to the point. You know our customs, how hard we work to keep our culture alive.” She waited for Kaitrith to nod before continuing. “In normal circumstances, you would be lost to us for your dalliances with your human lover.”

“Josephine,” Kaitrith corrected, without thinking.

“We had intended to send a more formal party to speak with you before Nonni ran off on her own,” Keeper Deshanna continued as though she hadn’t been interrupted, “but considering what you have done, what you have risked, what you have lost, if you would like to return to us, I do not think there is a soul here who would speak against it. You are one of the people, da’len. You belong here.”

“I don’t suppose the offer extends to Josephine.”

There was a beat of silence before Keeper Deshanna’s face fell slightly, as though she’d been hoping for something she knew wouldn’t come to pass. “You know what the shem do when they hear of a clan with humans with them.”

They assumed the worst and attacked.

Kaitrith didn’t need to hear the words to know them. Twice, they’d come to ravaged Dalish camps after calls for aid, only to find that they were too late, that the shems had descended upon them for the halfblooded children and lovers that the clans had dared to keep.

Even as Kaitrith’s shoulders slumped, Keeper Deshanna tapped her knee lightly. “You will always be Dalish, da’len.” The reminder was a gentle one, though Kaitrith wasn’t sure she trusted where it was going. “If you will not untangle yourself from your human, then perhaps…”

Kaitrith’s ears perked up slightly as the older elf kept talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Ya'll make my day <3


	37. Myrtle Green and Bracken Brown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have to go fix the notes, but this is the official end of the fic, not the earlier point. I hope you like it.

Kaitrith frowned down at her Dalish garb. It was new, and it fit her perfectly, but regardless she found that she wanted to adjust her bracer anyway, and she couldn’t well do that with one hand.

Today was important, and one of the most pivotal days of her life, more so than getting the mark or losing the mark or…well, damned near anything that she could think of. Of everything that had happened, somehow it paled in comparison to this.

Her whole outfit was lighter than usual—she’d abandoned her heavier armor for a simpler dress that was the color of Summer leaves, woven from traditional fabric and held in place with a bleached leather vest. The same leather had been used on her bracer and footwraps, and looking down at herself felt so…surreal.

Even as she twisted her hand, wishing her fingers were long enough to somehow reach and adjust her bracer, she heard a shift and then a flustered sigh from the other side of the curtain she’d dressed behind.

Kaitrith hesitated, vaguely remembering something about human traditions before shaking it off, and moving the curtain to the side.

Josephine stood there, hair wound up intricately with flowers adorning it, whites and golds and greens flashing in the morning light like gems.

She wore a similar gown, though the traditional Dalish overlay of layers of fabric woven and sewn together had been replaced with a simpler, more human looking style. Her dress was the same green, with a darker vest and boots and bracers.

Like Kaitrith wanted to be doing, she was fiddling with one of the bracers, looking about with mild worry.

“You are certain they will not mind?”

“Keeper Deshanna suggested it,” Kaitrith reassured her, reaching out and catching one of her hands. She swung their arms back and forth slowly. “Now, you know…this extends only to my clan and for all we know, when Keeper Deshanna steps down, the new First will dismiss this…treaty.”

Josephine nodded, her movements poised as ever, with only a flicker of apprehension in her eyes. “I would not expect the whole of your people to change for us.”

Kaitrith smiled, leaning up to kiss Josephine’s cheek and shaking her head when Josephine fretted that she didn’t want to break any of the Dalish rules.

When Kaitrith had brought Nonni back, she’d known that would likely be the last time she would set foot in her clan’s camp. It had hurt, despite knowing that she would stay with Josephine through whatever might come, because being Dalish _was_ so much a part of who she was.

Keeper Deshanna, though, had found a compromise.

By her keeper’s reckoning, Kaitrith had made great strides in returning pieces of their history to them, and while it would likely still be frowned upon if other clans found out, she saw no reason that their clan couldn’t honor her properly, with a goodbye gift that would mean the world to her.

A Dalish wedding.

It likely wouldn’t be recognized by human authorities—bastards—but it would be something that…

Kaitrith had never really daydreamed of bonding with anyone, she’d rather thought she’d just be along the sidelines, quietly guarding until they lay her to rest beneath a tree.

Now, though, that her keeper would allow her to take Josephine’s hand before their Gods made her want to cry, not that she would.

Or so she kept telling herself.

She’d nearly cried when she’d explained everything to Josephine, and her lover had simply leapt up and wrapped her arms around her, whispering the most beautiful word over and over in her ear as she peppered her with kisses.

 _Yes_.

“Kait,” Josephine began, drawing her from her fond memories. “In regards to vows. I know you have told me already, but I cannot seem to get my mind to settle.”

“Don’t worry about what language you speak in. So much of our tongue is lost that it will not hurt for you to speak the common tongue or Antivan.” As Josephine hesitated and reached up to adjust one of the flowers in Kaitrith’s hair—they were the matching, though Kaitrith’s shorter hair hadn’t been put in nearly so intricate a design as Josephine’s—she stole a quick kiss. “And if you want to ask your God for blessings, that will be alright.”

As she squeezed Josephine’s hand in reassurance, she heard a soft cough from behind her, and turned to see Nonni standing there. She wore the regular Dalish festive wear, and she fidgeted a little before motioning over her shoulder.

“Everyone’s ready for you.” She hesitated before looking at Josephine and adding, “I don’t like that you took Kaitrith away…but you must be good to have been able to.”

It was the first thing she’d said to Josephine since Kaitrith had brought her back with her to their camp. At first, she’d insisted Kaitrith rethink things, claiming she knew more of how the shem world worked and how it wasn’t a nice place, but she’d grown resigned when Kaitrith had hugged her and told her she needed to walk her own path.

That she could acknowledge that Josephine was a good sort meant a lot.

“Well, then.” Josephine stood up a bit straighter as she smoothed out her dress, no doubt for the nth time.

Kaitrith held out her hand and the two wandered down the short trail to the main part of the camp, which had been cleared for festivities.

When they got there, however, Kaitrith stopped in her tracks.

What they were doing, as grateful as she was for it, was against Dalish traditions. She’d expected that many of the Dalish would find reasons to be away—hunts or patrols or simply going on a long walk while the wedding occurred—yet there, gathered around the central fire and resting against aravels and carts, stood every member of her clan.

“Your…Chargers are on guard, before you grouse that we’re leaving ourselves open,” Ahrenal murmured. “We’ll relieve them once the ceremony’s over.”

As Kaitrith looked up at him, opening her mouth to speak, but finding no words willing to come, he lightly patted her shoulder.

“I’ll be back to calling you a prat by the day’s end, I’m sure.”

The urge to cry prickled behind her eyes, though she fought against it. “You’re insufferable.”

Ignoring his grin, she stood up a little straighter and held her hand out to Josephine again.

With that, the two walked through the crowd to take their places before Keeper Deshanna, and the halla to be bonded together in the eyes of the Creators, for all of time.

Everything that would come later, the revelry and drinking, the human wedding, the little ones—be they theirs or nieces and nephews—all of that could be nothing less than perfect, because nothing could mar the beauty of this moment, of the light filtering through the trees to kiss Josephine’s swarthy complexion, of the way a few wisps of hair fell loose and curled around her ear, of the fact that she would be with Kaitrith forever.

This was the beginning of a happily ever after that Kaitrith had never realized she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering about the chapter title, it's lyrics from an Irish song called Marie's Wedding. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and staying along for the ride :D If you have any prompts you'd like to see for these two, feel free to leave them in the comments or message me on tumblr (same username).


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